Sunday, 17 May 2009
Well folks its good bye from us. We were going to do all sorts of weird shit tonight to keep people guessing about why Roarprawn ceased operating at midnight tonight.
The simple fact of the matter is that we are going to work for a Ministry full time. Yip a public servant gig. As my mum says - a real job...We start tomorrow.
And the State Services Act is a bit of a bitch if you want to be a political commentator. Now we are fairly well positioned as a National Govt cheer leader but from time to time we have to put down our pom poms and give them a piece of our mind and , well you cant do that when you are a public servant. And we are not all that anonymous. After all we have been on telly.
We have had a ball blogging , its fun, outrageous and has ignited the old journo within. We were starting to get some decent numbers again too - up around the 1000 a day.
Now, who knows what will happen in the future - so we wont delete the prawn - but we will locked it away for a while. If someone wants to buy it - well email me on firstname.lastname@example.org
To all my fellow bloggers, keep up the bastards honest.
Love you all...... BB
- Christine Rankin will not take up the job of Family Commissioner
- David Farrar will get engaged in the next year.
- Two high profile press secretaries will resign in the next 3 months.
- Richard Worth wont last the year out as Minster
- Shane Jones will feel the full heat of an inquiry into Bill Liu
- The Securities Commission will be given greater powers
- We will find out who stole the Brash Emails and why the police covered it up but it will take another six months.
- Beaujolais will order more champagne next time we have a party.
- Winston will marry Jan Trotman
- Deborah Coddington will separate from her legal squeeze
- Whale Oil will get his own TV show -a mix of Rove and Jackass
- GonZo will write a novel and get famous
- Swine Flu will mutate
- Cactus will fall in love
- Rodney will get engaged
- Jim Anderton will leave parliament
- Melissa Lee will go close to taking Mt Albert
- Fairfax will scrap a Sunday paper by Xmas
- A new online newspaper to rival them all will become a " must read " by this time next year
- The world economy will go into freefall again - we are just seeing the deat cat bounce.
The reasons she is a crap appointment are:
- She is an intellectual pygmy
- She likes to use the word I a lot.
- She uses populist causes to promote herself.
update: We just saw the self centred cow on the Sunday programme. She did not do herself any favours. We also think that telling the truth is fundemental to integrity. To that end we are not convinced that she told the entire truth tonight and we expect her to be gone by the end of the week.
Saturday, 16 May 2009
Fran O'Sullivan has a crack a the lack of effort by police into the Brash stolen emails. Now Whale and Kiwiblog both point out to Fran that the Police Minister may not be able to call an inquiry.
KiwiBlog has also called the inquiry pitiful.
We expect to see more about this in weeks to come.
We are not currently a paid up member of the National party. We have been. - and maybe we will be again. We have also been a member of the Act Party.
The closest we have been to John Key is across a crowded room.
We are centre of right when it comes to our politics.
But both Act and the Nats piss us off from time to time.
There is a bit of crap on a lefty site about our political affiliations. So just wanted to clear the air.
If you are in the South next Saturday - go and check out the Kakapo in Invercargill. If you are a rich bugger - Take a special trip. They are going to be on public display for a very short time.
They will change the way you see things. They truly are innocence personified. Yip they are dumb, they have not adapted fast enough to survive with out millions of dollars and assisted breeding programmes. They would have tasted fantastic as well. But all jokes aside they are one of the most amazing birds you will ever see.
And the pic is taken by Barry Harcourt - one of this countries finest snappers.
We are delighted to see some mates and some people we genuinely admire get a Qantas, Like Phil Kitchin, Fran O'Sullivan and Audrey Young.
But shit with the depleting ranks of dead tree scribes, isn't it time the awards just centred on a few big awards instead a catagory for everything from the best story on pimple popping to how to wash your undies?
Disclaimer - and no we never won a Qantas and yes we did enter from time to time. But we have won other stuff.
And we agree with Cactus - its time for some blogging awards.
Friday, 15 May 2009
We have just learnt that the Ombudsman knew nothing of the release of the partial file on the stolen Brash emails this week by Howard Broad and his team at Police National Headquarters.
As we predicted, the file was nothing more than blank or blacked pages and press clippings. But here's the kicker - the police released them in that form without consulting the Ombudsman! The words of Guyon Espiner are ringing in our ears, Cover up - whitewash.
There will be more on this saga in the coming weeks.
We were quite distressed to see one of the leading entrepreneurial families of Southland the Wensleys get smacked about by the credit crunch.
They have developed a string of properties in Queenstown and although most purchasers have signed unconditional agreements they aren't stumping up with the cash.
So the whole family is selling everything they have to pay off debts.
Thats Southland and Southlanders for you.
We salute the Wensleys for their integrity...
Which is in stark contrast to these two big swinging dicks with no moral fibre and less integrity.
Anyway Bruce has been on the warpath and has done some analysis of a few companies and worked out about 7 are in deep schtuck.
He suggested that some are " sitting on the edge of a debt precipice. "
NZX says he should reveal who the companies are.
We find that a bit rich. Now we thought that was the job of NZX to monitor the continuous disclosure stuff. Make sure that investors were working with as much info about companies as possible.
So it appears one of the argument is about the disclosure of banking covenants. We think they should be .
Bruce responds here.
Update : Cactus has a bloody good round up of the issue here too...
Will the KY incident become political legend?
Which well known CE and Regulator has a deadwood list? And would it be grounds for a PG?
Is the Mixed grill at the Green Parrot the most calorific meal in the whole of New Zealand?
Did anyone else know about the 2 for 1 deal at Beaujolais?
Now here is some lateral thinking - we posted on the breathless conversation that John Key had with Obama yesterday . We want a Free Trade Agreement.
Obama still wants to shoot the shit out of a few terrorists so we reckon we could gift him about 100 LAV's and a nice little clutch of skyhawks.
And some SAS boys who are always in the market for a bit of biffo.
Sorry guys but Whale is a dick. He reckons that the difference between him and the penguin ( aka Kiwiblog ) is balls.
Sorry, but tonight we again saw Mr Farrar in action. He is a girl magnet. Never underestimate the power of intellect. Pure sex. The new black.
Whale will forever be in the shadow of the penguin.
Thursday, 14 May 2009
Personally -if we lived Mt Albert we would vote for Shearer - he is cute, likes guns and if elected will ensure the unions no longer define the Labour Party.
Now thats sexy.
It is lovely to see that John and Barack get on.. Super!
Barry has a lovely wife, smart kids and a cute dog. But he is in charge of a country that's falling to bits.
Sorry everyone - but if you think that the world economy is on the repair - think again - its the dead dog bounce. Shit will happen in the next few months.
Yip, we need to sell stuff to to the USA, they are an important market and we need to be nice to them, but not in awe of them, so there is no need to do the sucky - sucky bum licky thing.
It looks sad.
You see John, you are making decisions that are a bit different than everyone else - and the world is watching with interest.
It should be Barack calling you - Mr Prime Minister.
Wednesday, 13 May 2009
Ahh the Whale, his harpoon is poised over the Richard ( looks like a racing sardine ) Northey.
We expect more to come. Much more. All Hail to the Whale.
We can understand why this govt wants to strengthen the Families Commission and on the face of it the appointment of Christine Rankin would appear to be a bold move by the government.
However as much as it saddens us to say so - it is a bad appointment. We are putting our party cheerleading pompoms down for a while.
Our concern over Rankins appointment has nothing to do with divorces or marriage or her controversial reign at the head of WINZ where her zeal to turn her staff into Amway sales clones was an unmitigated disaster.
No, for us, its simply because, when it comes to Rankin, anything she does is ultimately about her and she uses populist causes as vehicles for self promotion. She is the great New Zealand "I am."
Have a look at this interview with Mark Sainsbury and count up the number of times she says - I .
Or this interview
Not we, not us , not together, just - I.
See what we mean?
That's the reason we think her appointment is just bloody wrong.
And at the end of the bloody day there is probably no need for the Families Commission anyway. Scrap it and give it to some charities that do good works. There are plenty of them.
So here is the competition - find the article or interview of Rankin where she uses the word I the most. Then source the article in the comments section.
You have till 8pm tonight. A bottle of good pinot noir for the one who comes up with the biggest count.
Remember we said that some of the sequencing of the police inquiry was important and that the inquiry started well before Brash laid the official complaint?
Well heres the evidence that the police were investigating long before Brash asked them to.
090513 Police Letter 1
090513 Police letter 2
It seems the NBR has let the very witty and very observant Rob Hosking loose on the Brash Email police cock inquiry cock up scandal. Or whitewash and cover-up as Guyon Espiner elegantly puts it.
Take a look at Mr Hoskings lovely read.
Tuesday, 12 May 2009
read very carefully........
Whale has been digging deep about Rangi . You need to read it. Here
Seems we have the indymedia in a frenzy - No denials - they are just sobbing saying how unfair we are. Get over it we say - live by the patu and all that.
And there are some timing issues everyone needs to understand. The police were investigating the email theft before Brash asked them to.
Police were first notified of the alleged theft of emails on 30 August 2005. They began their investigation on 28 September 2006.
It was in effect, one of the slowest, longest investigations in police history.
Sad or the dawn of a new age of information?
In 2008 there were TEN significant cyber incidents listed.
But in 2007 the GCSB did not list the number of significant cyber incidents.
We would like to know:
What constitutes a significant cyber incident.
Why the number of significant cyber incidents for 2007 where not listed.
And we tried to upload the annual Reports but SCRIBD says they are encrypted and password protected.. So sorry, you will have to go to links to read the info.
Very exciting Radio with Pictures this morning. Guyon the ever serious information seeker was a tad outraged and we dont see that very often. He used words like "whitewash" and "coverup." after he received a leaked copy of the police file into the stolen/hacked Brash emails.
The police have written nothing about much ado, according to the guiding one.
We completely agree. What is very good is that when Guyon does get his incisors into a meaty story he will chew on it till he gets to the marrow. So we await with breathless anticipation his ruthless endeavours to get to the bottom of this suspicious and complex tale that goes to the heart of parliamentary security.
And when Guyon and all the other shiny bummed scribes in the press gallery get a nanosecond to spare can they please ask the GCSB where on earth their annual report is? What does it say?
Is there another story here?
Monday, 11 May 2009
Well, what the Vulcan Hell ( we have just been to Star Trek) is going on??!!
Two moles in one day - one there according to Whale
And another here perhaps?
Can this be allowed? Surely not. We want action. Can someone -(not the police - they don't seem to be very good at investigating this sort of stuff. )
Security Intelligence Service perhaps?
And why has the GCSB Annual Report been removed from their website? Apparently it was only added on the 30/4/09
Now its gone.. Why is that? How curious.
UPDATE : According to the ever breathless pretty young thing on the late TVNZ news, Don Brash is going to be on Breakfast in the morning....
Looks like Lockwood wants some reassurance as well.
We missed this in the Dom on Saturday :
Speaker Lockwood Smith wants police to brief him on their investigation into the alleged theft of emails from former National leader Don Brash to assure himself that Parliament's computer system was not hacked into.So it appears The Speaker is keen for some answers.. More voices to the growing chorus for truth.
Dr Smith said Parliament's computer security specialists had a "pretty high level of confidence" that the system had not been accessed, but he wanted to know what police had found.
We are amazed that this got past the Greens feminazis.
Russ the Muss. Not a good look. And besides its a lie - he's a skinny ginga. Can possibly be a Muss, a tugger maybe but not a Muss.
NZ Comms originally announced its pre-launch event today in anticipation of Telecom's XT going live on Wednesday. Yet while XT is now off until May 31, its ghost launch continues to upstage; I just saw TV1 Breakfast weatherman Tamati Coffey bragging to Paul Henry about his free XT phone. His choice of location to deliver the forecast this morning: in front of a giant Richard Hammond billboard.]
We reckon that is crossing the line. It is the sort of thing that Australian regulators are watching closely and we want to see NZ regulators keep an eye on.
Update: Hey sometimes we get stuff wrong - this was one of those occasions - this from an ever vigilant prawn reader.
It didn't actually go down like that at all. Tamati was standing in front of a parking building, on top of which was a Telecom XT billboard. It was Paul Henry, jokingly, who asked the cameraman to bring the billboard properly into shot (it was only just visible, off to the side), at which point Henry said to Tamati something like, "stay right there, you'll get given a new Telecom phone." He then later had the cameraman bring the billboard back into shot and asked everyone in the studio if they wanted a new phone, as Telecom would surely send them one as they were so kindly keeping their billboard in shot. Peter Williams said he didn't need a new phone. A couple of the floor girls yelled from off camera that they'd love one. Coran Dan, the business reporter, said he wasn't interested as "I'm with Vodafone." Far from being a gross piece of product placement driven by Tamati it was simply Paul Henry mucking about. Talk about Chinese whispers getting the message mixed up!
Its a mammoth read - but the guts of it is as follows.
1. NZX is privy because of their Regulatory position to information that makes them a trusted source.
2. NZX charges for dissemination of this information to the marketplace and generates 45% of its operating revenue in this fashion.
3. NZX is spreading its Regulatory role of a trusted source collector and disseminator of this information into commercial publications it is planning to purchase.
4. NZX has had no permanent Head of Supervision for a year and it is arguable that this person is truly independent anyway.
5. NZX claims that its Supervisory and Commercial operations are "quarantined".
6. NZX Supervisory staff have been financed into an employee share scheme. The NZX CEO is according to the latest accounts, the third largest shareholder in the company and has a sole financial incentive to increase the earnings per share to receive more shareholding.
7. The Securities Commission has previously raised issues of conflict with respect to NZX.
8. The Securities Commission is over stretched and under resourced, more so due to recent finance company issues.
9. The Securities Commission has called internationally for "independent, strengthened, and well-funded regulators for implementation at the domestic level" due to recent subprime crisis issues.
10. The NZX CEO has a new politicised role and is seen by political advisors as having large influence on John Key.
We reckon Cactus is on the money. As she tends to be. We wait with interest the response from the MSM.
Deb Hill - Cone has become one of our best social commentators. She is delightfully angsty about being a mum, being a nerd and of course being angsty.
Her column this morning about suffering from disconnection will appeal to many bloggers.
She likens our love of connectedness and lack of interactions with the real community, to the world of Wall - E where humans are dependent on robots to meet their physical needs while they hover about on hover chairs.
Ahh so sad and so true. We are in danger of becoming a hoverer. Well actually, we are already there.
We hate being disconnected - lost on a gravel road somewhere off the information super highway. We feel a new kind of fear - a dislocation and isolation, irrational as that may be when it happens.
We have become part of the machine and we are so happy there.Its a kind of intellectual bliss, it stimulates us in places we did not know we had.
However we can see the dangers and every weekend we hop off our hoverchair and dig some dirt, smell the breeze, walk and watch the changing land, we read from dead tree blocks and we talk to people. We harvest things and we kill to eat.
We worry about the rise of the hover people, Will we see a new generation of hover kids wired into the mirror world of Wall- E with cellphones in their nappies and touch screens smudged with watties baby custard, tiny ears stuffed with buds emitting all kinds of info.
We hope not. We must teach our kids that the information connectedness is part of our world not all of it.
Brash reckons he wont every find out who stole them. Maybe he is right. However, what we want to know is why they were stolen and why the police investigation was so shoddy and what the hell the secrecy was all about. And TV3 have also mentioned the burglary of Diane Foreman's home. ( she was Brash's par amour) what was taken- was it really expensive stuff or just really interesting stuff?
So this week we wait with interest to see what the contents of the police file on the Brash emails contain.
Sunday, 10 May 2009
Women all over Britain have been outraged after Marks and Spencer started charging an extra two quid for bras with DD cups and over.
We have huge sympathy with these women
<---- Not BB.
Silly buggers - pommie queen size women obviously weren't going to take that sort of sizeist nonsense lying down.
Based on my humble experience with pommie men - ( married one once ) they are a nation of tit men so this campaign garnered some nationwide support quicker than a 15 year old boy could ping a bra strap.
Marks and Sparks reckoned it cost extra to make DD cup over the shoulder boulder holders.Crap said the "big breasted don't mess with us" team. They weren't being charged for big sized clothing so the argument appeared as realistic as Pamela Andersons left one.
So more than 8000 signing up to support a Facebook campaign run by Busts 4 Justice, which branded the extra charge for bigger bras an "unfair tit-tax".
National newspapers joined their cause, attacking M&S over its pricing policy and recruiting all sorts of voluptuous celebrities to comment on how unfair they thought it was.
The mass market Daily Mail began offering discount M&S vouchers so its readers wouldn't have to fork out any extra for larger size bras.
The Sun tabloid, famous for its Page 3 topless models, also urged M&S: "Hands off our boobs".
Finally after days of controversy - and bucketloads of negative publicity for M&S - the retailer's dapper chief executive Sir Stuart Rose backed down and announced an end to the bigger bra cost with the simple admission: "We boobed."
Yip we agree they made right tits of themselves.
They have claimed for things such as manure, kit kat bars, 5p supermarket bags to name but a few of the purchases politicians felt they had a right to claim for.
MP's are blaming the " system " for claiming expenses.
Here's a lovely list of some of the weird stuff they have purchased from the Sun.
It was inevitable that this would happen - On the back of sweeping changes to disconnection procedures after the untimely death of Folole Muliaga, half the bloody reprobates around the country have tried to claim " medical need " to stop being disconnected from their power supply for unpaid bills.
We are really angry about this. If power companies are having to spend thousands on establishing medical need and then on top of that, not getting paid for power people are using, then that means that people who pay their power bills like us, end up paying more.
We are paying for the loafers and the down right fraudsters sucking off a system made loose by an over reaction. The sick part of this is those in genuine need have probably had to wait to be declared medically dependent on power while all the leeches are weeded out of the system.
Mercury Energy has approved just 1500 claims by customers wanting to be registered as medically dependent, out of 10,000 applications.
Energy retailers had only now sorted through most claims, Mercury general manager James Munro told the newspaper.
"The entire industry has had to work through a big bulge to get down to those who are genuinely medically dependent."
The Electricity Commission, which introduced voluntary guidelines to protect the vulnerable, is considering how to tighten up the system to stop people taking advantage of retailers while still protecting at-risk customers.
So we say all power to the Electricity Commission to sort this mess out and quick bloody smart.
Saturday, 9 May 2009
Even BB, known for her ability to open throat beer faster than anyone she has been pitted against, could not swallow these buggers whole. They are stunning. We texted Cactus and I swear we could hear her scream of outrage across a couple of oceans. We matched the oysters with a lovely Yealands, Sauvignon Blanc. Then we had a flounder for main. It was simply the finest flounder I have ever had at any restaurant in NZ. I eat a lot of flounder, I buy it about once a fortnight so I reckon I am a bit of a connoisseur. It was in a light asian styled broth. We will endeavour to get the recipe.
We then asked for a stinky, hard and blue cheese board.. It was fantastic - all smelly and rich . We could go into the descriptions but you can find them on the menus here
And we have no relationship with Shed Five or the Nourish Group. We just like their food.
He rightly points out the breathless reporting of rumour as fact in the race to be first with the latest breaking events.
Whale Oil sticks it to David Shearer, the Labour candidate for Mt Albert who thinks that crime isn't a big issue in Mt Albert.
Home Paddock has a roundup on two big philanthropic gifts - one by Eion Edgar for the Olympic committee and the other from New Zealandiophiles Julian and Josie Robertson who have donated a stunning art collection to the Auckland Gallery and finally and most importantly for farmers, some largesse from Ravensdown offering drought ridden farmers some relief.
And Alf Grumble obviously learnt more than stock ratios, wool classing and optimum rates of hop consumption when he was a young tigger at Lincoln University doing his Dip Ag. He does a lovely, almost scholarly dissection of some wankers PHD on the effectiveness of blogging.
And GoNZo does a nice takedown of some crap subbing at the Herald.
And Hat Tip to Cactus for this one - some executive eye candy for all us executive sweet tooths.
And then Adam over at Inquiring Mind has a lovely poem called the Gords prayer. Nice find.
We had the day off - getting hair done, bit of shopping to help support the economy and a wee bit of non blog writing..
Friday, 8 May 2009
We are pretty convinced that all the public will get to see will be lots of blank paper , some radio transcripts and a few press clippings when the police make public some scraps of the file next week.
We are still gobsmacked by this story. So here is a tune for all the spooks, police, watchers and politicians who maybe involved. It stinks guys and the longer you buried the more it will stink.
Now there are many eyes on you. We will watch and we will wait....
Anyway - we think that this song was the one that for us, epitomises what it means to be a policeman. A tough often thankless job. We have enormous respect for the cops on the front line. We see them every day in our lives and to a man and woman they are committed to keeping us safe. Anyway, like most New Zealanders the Napier siege and its consequences for policemen Len Snee and Bruce Miller and Grant Diver is never far from our thoughts.
And we say Kia Kaha to the families of these good men.
We have been pretty clear that we think Obama is full of shit
<----- We were sent this lovely shot of the Prez taking Whitehouse dog Bo for a walk. Thanks to the Trader..
So to Barry Colman - we salute you - old and curmudgeonly you may be but you can still sniff the breeze and know where the wind is coming from.
The File on the Brash emails at Police National Headquarters.
Matthew Hooton has the whole saga into today's dead tree copy of the NBR. They wont put the column on their on line site. We reckon that's at Hootons request because he is trying to save the New Zealand Forestry industry. He does a bit of work for them from time to time... We digress.
Anyway - Hooton has a bit of a thing about the Stolen Brash emails that were used by Nicky Hagar to form his flight of fancy book - the Hollow Men. Brash remains incensed that the police never seem to consider it a high priority.
Hooton lodged an OIA in May 2007. Two years later and the police are about to release something. It will probably be blank papers, a radio transcript or two and some press clippings. And Hooton has been lucky enough to secure the services of Kensington Swan pro bono. They are well known Rottweillers on this sort of stuff so the story is so very far from over. Initially the police wouldn't release the file because they reckoned it would compromise the investigation.
Brash was told nine months into the investigation that those in receipt of the emails had not been interviewed because the police were a tad busy with APEC.
Then in April 2008 senior plod Harry Quinn closed the file and announced that to the media. He said to Brash he would send him the file. He never did.
Then in mid 2008 the police changed their story and told Hooton the file was still open.... This is the last few paragraphs of Hooton's Column today. Its better than a bloody spy novel.
After Mr Quinn’s announcement, my staff redoubled our efforts to obtain the file. In mid-2008, however, PNHQ changed its story, advising the chief ombudsman that the file, which they had announced was closed, was in fact open.
Initially, the chief ombudsman, then new to the job, was sucked in to the PNHQ position. Even when PNHQ later confirmed that the investigation was “inactive”, she claimed she should “err on the side of caution”, despite the law demanding a presumption in favour of release.
Her provisional opinion agreed with PNHQ that releasing the file would prejudice the maintenance of law in New Zealand. Even more extraordinary, she ruled that her reasons for reaching this view needed themselves to be kept secret. That’s when we called in the lawyers.
PNHQ’s bizarre behaviour has fuelled all sorts of conspiracy theories. Ms Clark spun the yarn that an MP’s spouse was responsible for the theft. The professionalism of the operation led some to speculate about the SIS. Marginally more plausible are theories involving rogue officers at the Government Communications Security Bureau, given author Nicky Hager clearly had a source within that agency for his internationally-acclaimed Secret Power. One of the Urewera 17 has also been mentioned in Wellington IT and legal circles.
It is not healthy in a democracy for such conspiracy theories to gain currency. It is more likely that a politically-motivated PNHQ simply decided it was better to let sleeping dogs lie, and even more likely that they just botched the investigation. Whatever the truth, there is a clear public interest in every comma of the file being released, just as it was for paintergate.
So like us we reckon at this point you will be a little more than concerned about just what is concerning the police and the ombudsman. But we will bet the house that Hooton and Kensington Swan will find out. And more importantly it is an issue that should cause the Prime Minister enough concern to call a full inquiry.