Monday, 30 November 2009


Now we have been gobsmacked by the lukewarm reception that Brash's 2025 Taskforce report has received. It was the viagran policy we have been waiting for. The one that was going to make us look all fiscally flash like Australia. It was a big hard and very, very exciting in a big swinging economic dick kinda policy way.

But what did we get?

Lets have a look see? Nah
Ohh that's exciting stuff Nah
Holy - that looks interesting ? Nah
By gum that's bold ? Nah
Hmm - we will have to give this some thought? Nah.
Lets have a play with that and see what happens? Nah.
Might hurt a bit to start with but then it will feel real good? Nah

We got - "Its bloody scary and its tooo big for us to swallow - and anyway what would people think of us!

Pussies they are. Pussies.

Sunday, 29 November 2009


Goff looked pale on TVNZ tonight. He is fighting for political relevancy and even his speech that took him to the bottom of the bait barrel of politics has not made a wit of difference.

He is slowly disappearing.....

In contrast to this man....


We would not have believed it but Hone Harawira looked pretty contrite on TV tonight but the TVNZ Colman Brunton poll would indicate that most people have had enough of the grumpy radical from the far north. 61% of Maori thought what he said was racist and 69% of the general population saying he should leave parliament.

The poll seems to reflect the mood of the nation that we perceive. That the country wants builders not wreckers. It's time to get stuck in and sort shit, not whinge and moan. And its time for Maori and Pakeha to take personal responsibility for their lives. It is an underpinning tenet of both the National and Maori Party.

While we think that the road back to redemption wont be easy, Hone will be back. We hope he does some work and becomes part of a team, both the smaller team of the Maori Party and the larger team of Government.

We are still more aggrieved about his arrogant , owe me a living crap in Europe than the racist comments. He needs to apologise for that in a meaningful way let alone anything else. He should be, above all a roll model to his people. He is not.

More than anything he needs to do some stuff. We have heard much from Hone of the Hot Air of the north. What we really need to see, if he is allowed to come back is some action that will help turn the tide for Maori.

In short he needs to do stuff.



New Zealand has added three golds to its medal haul making it No 2 on the medal table of 60 countries at the Taekwon-Do Federation World Championships in Argentina.

With one day of competition to go, Argentina leads the medal hunt with New Zealand second, followed by Germany.

Taekwon-Do, which has its origins in Korea, is the most popular form of martial arts in the world with an estimated 180 million practitioners of the sport.

The New Zealand team now has eight Golds, six Silver and eight Bronze medals.

Team star Carl van Roon, of Auckland, won his Gold medal in the Senior Male Speciality division, making him fourth time consecutive World Champion in the division, while Luke Thompson, also of Auckland, clinched a Gold, making him second-time consecutive World Champion in the Senior Male Individual Power division. The last Gold medal was won by Stuart Maden, of Wellington, in the Junior Male Power competition.

Silver medals come from the SPARC-sponsored Auckland -based athletes Mark Trotter and Luke Thompson in the Senior Male Pre-arranged Sparring competition and Jeremy Hannah, of Auckland, in the Junior Male Heavyweight Sparring Division.

The third Silver was taken out by Kristy Leong in the Junior Female Power division while the last of the Silver Medals was won by SPARC-sponsored Carl van Roon in the Senior Male Heavyweight Sparring competition.

Bronze medals were won by Aucklanders Carolina Dillen in the Senior Female Lightweight Sparring Division and Courtney Meleisea in the Junior Female Heavyweight Sparring Division.

Mark Trotter won a Bronze medal in the Senior Male Micro Weight Sparring division and Amanda Clealand secured a Bronze in her Senior Female Power division. Anna Yates, of Palmerston North, won her bronze medal in the Junior Female Power division.

The four-day event has drawn over 800 competitors with large teams from the United States, England, New Zealand, Canada, Australia, Argentina, Germany and Poland.

The World Championships will be held in Wellington from the 10 – 13 March 2011.

“The excellent performances by the Kiwi team will make us very competitive on home soil in 2011,” says 2011 World Champs Organising Chairman Nick Lourantos.


In a curious way we find ourselves deeply entertained by Cactus's nomination for the Madame Cliqout business woman of the year.

We spent most of yesterday with the previous winner Julie Christie, who was out flatmate and classmate of the 1979 Wellington Polytechnic Journalism Course. She was New
inaugural winner of the award and she surely deserved it.

However our bright flower of youth has surely wilted, as last night some of our class, who had not seen each other for 30 years, mistook the glamourous Julie for me. Ahh those wasted wanton nights of the past have taken their toll on Busted Blondes fair countenance. Where as hard work, and its rewards now shine from Julies. Dam it. And today Christie herself is in the news.

It is a prestigious award

Anyway, we are delighted that Cactus nominated Lisa Lewis for the award. We have always been fans of legalised prostitution. It provides a safety valve in society.

And Lewis has glamourised the profession and has willingly promoted herself and her work earning top dollar for her services as well. She knows the value in looking after her assets and is prepared to invest some capital in plant renewal. AKA a bit of gravity defying silicon in her rack. And knows the value of maintenance - keeping everything in top order with a exercise regime that requires considerable discipline.

More over, Lewis has taken the shame away for her job, she has helped give it a friendly face. She has turned prostitution into another suburban service like a dairy.

You go to the dairy to get milk. You go to Lisa to get milked.

Lewis also understands and uses marketing to great effect. She seizes every opportunity she can to promote her product.

Seriously though whats the difference in the way Lewis uses her assets as compared to someone like Nicky Watson or Charlotte Dawson?

We say that she is an admirable choice. So we salute Cactus for taking the initiative to nominate her and we salute Lisa for being a good nominee.

Friday, 27 November 2009



New Zealand has kicked off the first day of the ITF X Junior World and the XVI Senior World Taekwon-Do Championship at Mar del Plata (Buenos Aires) Argentina, winning 5 Gold, 3 Silver and 3 Bronze medals.

Aucklander Jeremy Hannah, was the first of the New Zealand team to take out gold winning the Junior Males 3rd Dan Patterns division.

SPARC sponsored Aucklanders Carolina Dillen and Mark Trotter were also in the medals with Dillen winning New Zealand's second gold medal in the Seniors Womens 1st Dan Patterns. Trotter secured a Silver medal in the Senior Mens 4th to 6th Dan Patterns division.

The team also struck gold with Chris Broughton from Auckland winning the Senior Mens Ist Dan Patterns division.

Aramai Tahau from Levin won the Junior Mens Individual Speciality competition while the last gold medal for the day was won by the Junior Womens Team in the Team Pattern division.

Wellingtonian Richie Lavin, another SPARC sponsored athlete won bronze in his Senior Males 3rd Dan Patterns division.

Mathew Davey from Auckland claimed silver in the Senior Mens 2nd Dan Patterns division and the last of the silver medals was won by Shane Black from Tauranga in the Junior Mens Speciality division.

Bronze medals were won by both Phillipa Henry from Whangarei in the Junior Womens 1st Degree Patterns division and
Melissa Timperley for the Junior Womens Specialty.

The 4 day event has drawn over 800 competitors with large teams from the United States, England, New Zealand, Canada, Australia, Argentina, Germany and Poland.

New Zealand is hosting the ITF Taekwon-Do World Championships in Wellington from the 10th to the 13th March in 2011 and is expecting over 600 competitors from 60 Countries.

The 2011 Taekwon-Do New Zealand promotional team has set-up a stand at the Argentina Taekwon-Do World Championships to promote New Zealand in conjunction with Tourism New Zealand, New Zealand Trade & Enterprise and Wellington City Council Events.

Chairman Nick Lourantos says:

" I'm absolutely blown away by the support shown by Wellington City Council, Tourism New Zealand and NZ Trade & Enterprise. It's great what happens when the Government and sport work together to promote our great country and what it has to offer the world.

"We have been promoting New Zealand as a place to come and play as well as a place to do business with. We have been gathering registrations for the 2011 Championships with amazing interest for ongoing holidaying in New Zealand.

“So far most interest has come from the United States, The Netherlands and Canadian delegations. They want to know more and the stand has whetted their appetite to come and visit New Zealand.”

Thursday, 26 November 2009


Tonight we went to one of the premium events of the Wellington Xmas calendar, the Treaty of Waitangi Fisheries Annual Christmas do. It used to be held at the Tug Boat and it was famous for some very very long nights studded with raucous behaviour and that was just the knights and the Ministers.

Tonights affair was at Mac's Brewery in the function room. While 30 percent of those who were there were old friends and familiar faces - over 16 years the human landscape has changed a bit.

They no longer have a top journalism prize, which in its day was the richest in the country at $12,000 in travel. ( We won it once) We suggest that maybe they award a prize to the most interesting blog!

There were fewer shiny arses , fewer lawyers, accountants, and more iwi reps at this years party.

And in an old and fine tradition the taxi drivers,who cart the out of towners from the airport to meetings, quaffed beer alongside knights and captains of industry..

So overall it was a good do.

And in a long tradition crayfish was served and continued to be served until no-one could eat another half tail. This year everyone was talking about the meaty ice clams , the latest new shell fish.

They are spectacular but they were served badly, they were overcooked and over seasoned. These are a delicate fish and they deserve the loving attention of a top chef. And while the crayfish was perfectly cooked, it should never, ever be served with the gut cord still attached. The Maori seafood industry , like the NZ seafood industry should always remember to showcase their product in the best possible way. While to most of the attendees it was good tucker - it was not fine food - and it is fine food that out nation should always produce everywhere, everytime to everybody. It is after all the raison d'etre of the industry

It was also not a good night to be a white chocolate ( Ngai Tahu chick) from the deep south. The ETS has created a division we hoped wouldn't be too deep - but it is. There were definite barbs about the fat rich Ngai Tahu from the deep south. ( we admit to being a bit porky and Ngai Tahu but we are not rich)
There is a definite anger about the deal that really only delivers benefits to a favoured few. So while there are still disparities between Maori and Pakeha, there is a growing disparity within Maoridom as well and it has caused anger and resentment. It will become a bigger issue as the details and their impact become apparent.

It was also the night to say goodbye to a knight - Archie Taiaroa, one of the finest gentlemen we have known. He is a quiet, man, humble, wise and gracious. He will be missed. The affable Ngahiwi Tomoana is taking over and although he has big shoes to fill he will do a fine job.


While we sort of get why Sean Plunket didn't win his case about being untreated fairly re his employment dispute with RNZ on a purist point, we are wondering why Commie Radio is so hell bent on denying their star the right to freedom of speech. Now we get it that Plunkets contract does indeed mean the RNZ essentially owns him by denying him the right to an opinion. However this last wee debacle should have the Minister of Broadcasting twitching his eyebrows.
The gig that Plunket is guesting at is a minor affair in the scheme of things... So we want to know does this mean that the big guy shouldn't have a face book page or indeed offer his opinion at any lunch either..

Its time RNZ realised that they may have a legal case but the moral case is making them a laughing stock.

No-one really listens to RNZ for anything other than Plunket. Love him or hate him , he is the only reason people tune in.

Wednesday, 25 November 2009


This is a face we reckon you wont see around parliament much any more. The fuzzy kiwifruit look alike , Tony Gibbs who represents Turners and Growers is getting the cold shoulder on the hill after it turn out that he was willing to sacrifice the reputation of NZ Trade to get his own way on domestic soil.

At the very least it was an arsewipe of a thing to do. At worse, some could call it a treasonous play.

So we wonder how long it will be before he decides on a career change.


Right we are back to cheer leading for the Nats and of course the Maori party.
the ETS is now bedded in and we cant change that so its time to get on with life.

Now in the past parliament is pretty slow to get up and going in the New Year. Not this time. The Ministerial offices are under starters orders to be at work shiny faced, hanky in the pocket and clean undies on - on the 6th of January.....

There are a few mumbles and grumbles from the hill but not near as loud from govt lackeys who realise that the traditional two weeks of long lunches and early finishes are are thing of the past.

Well done them we say. There is a lot to get done.


The Aussie Rock says this is funny... He is right it is..

Tuesday, 24 November 2009


We are still pondering the ETS deal. Never ever before have we seen right wing commentators to a man and woman be so universal in their critical condemnation of a political decision.

And that criticism also extends to the venal play by Ngai Tahu which has seen them " secure" the planting rights to about 30,000ha of unused DOC land in the South Island to plant native forests.. They can claim the carbon credits for what they plant but they have to manage the forests and they have to plant them as well. We reckon analysis further down the track will show its the most crap deal any iwi has ever signed up to.

And a good Maori mate reckons the fellas who are taking the free trip to the Climate Change talks in Copenhagen as part of the Maori Party deal look like - quote, " house niggers"

Tough term but apt.

We wonder if ace guitarist and songster Tim Groser has been practicing Ten Guitars for the trip with the bro's. Or maybe he will get everyone singing " Hot Stuff"
Or maybe Burning down the house.

We think that Nick Smith is actually the fall guy in all this. We reckon there will be a big dip in the polls as the public comes to grips with the ETS and its ramifications.
Smith is Keys sacrificial lamb. He gets the shit job of shoving through all the unpopular legislation like climate change and ACC and then we reckon that Key will cut him lose and demote him as a succour to an angry public. The result - a bounce back in the polls.

Did we say that? Nah must have been a flight of fancy -too much red wine. Key is way too nice to do that to Smith- isn't he?

We not to sure if we want to laugh or cry....


We are heading up to parliament tomorrow for a bit of a do. We have been invited by the most unlikely of people - It's a leaving do for a good bugger who is loved and admired by many. We met him once, we have followed the same kaupapa around some issues and we have many friends in common. Those friends are definitely more red that blue but politics does not divide us.

We will go because the events of the last few days have us wanting answers and some korero with those who can shed some light on the dark decisions made in the name of climate change.

Monday, 23 November 2009


We really dont know what more to say other than today was crap- we are disgusted and dismayed for all the reasons we have outlined in previous posts.

Sunday, 22 November 2009


If there is an iwi support group going to the Copenhagen Climate Change Talkfest, as part of the ETS deal, will they ask Hone Harawira how they can get to Paris?

And will they fly to gay Paris or take a bus?

And how do the iwi support group plan to offset the environmental cost of the trip or is that being built into the DOC deal?

And who is paying for the cost of the lawyers or is the government picking up the tab?

Like, we are just curious.. thats all...


It started here in NZ after Investigate magzine confirmed that some leaked emails circulating on the internet, from one of the worlds leading climate change research centres in Britain were not a hoax. Its a very curious tale of hacked emails that appear to question the integrity of the the Climate change promoters.

The story is now global and in the main stream..and Gotcha has the best summary in the blogosphere.


We have being doing the toil in the soil thing all weekend, feeling the earth mother within.. Gaia unbound.

So it was with dismay that we read a disturbing post over at Gotcha by Whale Oil.
on the train back to Wellington.

He reckons that the Iwi leaders forum, and the Maori party have demanded, as part of the ETS deal - that their leaders and kaumatua get an all expenses trip to Copenhagen to attend the climate change talks. And apparently Nick Smith is okay with it.
Why? we ask. What value is added? What will it achieve? Why will the taxpayers have to fork out for the cost?

If they( the Maori support group) believe in Climate change isnt it a bit rich to burn up so much carbon to get to a conference just , well just because you have a big swinging dick and want to look important?

And isn't it utterly bilious when Key is asking for prudent spending from everyone?

Saturday, 21 November 2009


For some reason we couldn't sleep last night and instead of counting sheep - we resorted to counting trees.

Now we said that there was no way we were going to blog about Ngai Tahu and associated iwi sneaking around in back rooms trying to work out a deal with the government for support for the ETS.

But this issue is too big.

Once New Zealand mums and dads people cotton to the basic premise - hand outs for noisy Maori - there will be a public outcry.

We have in the past suggested that Ngai Tahu needs to get out of grievance mode and get on with doing good works and making money with what they have.
In other words they have had their settlement, its up to them now to show their beneficiaries and indeed the rest of New Zealand that they can add value to their assets.

National is in thrall of the global green chalice. An ETS scheme...

So Ngai Tahu, who has a bevy of lawyers, who after a decade know how to press government buttons - raises the spectre of legal action.

National folds and tries to work out a deal that will placate them and buy their support. So they chuck them a bone in the shape of unused Doc land where they can plant a few beech trees and claim the carbon credits.. Which is fine, plant trees , sell the credits, bank the money, live off the interest..

Looks good. Apart from the fact that there is no way that the trees can be cut down without incurring a liability. They have to buy back the credits. so a contingent liability exists and according to Smith in Fran O'sullivans excellent column on the issue, iwi will own that liability.
So its a crap deal.

Based on a weak kneed government that wants to sip from the Green Cup so its willing to sell its soul.

And an iwi that rather than concentrating on becoming a business with dividends for beneficiaries goes back again to the biggest trough of all - free government money.

Its a deal not available to other foresters, so it is race based. As Fran so rightly puts it - its brownmail. We reckon that term will become part of the NZ lexicon.

We are ashamed of our iwi for being so venal. If they had joined the pre 1990 forest lobbyists and fought to keep those forests out of the ETS, there would not have been an issue and that deal would have benefited all Maori, not just a few iwi, who are being manipulated by their lawyers for a very short term gain.

Friday, 20 November 2009


Radio NZ has leaked papers show that Maori are wanting a treaty type deal over forest plantings.

Remember all this against a backdrop of legal advice that shows that iwi are standing on the head of a pin over their claims that the government didnt tell them about the ETS when they negotiated the treaty settlements over a decade ago.

Considering that the ETS has only been around as a concept for about 7 years its crap to think that it would have come up in negotiations.

So we think this is a bloody barmy idea. It will incense other iwi who miss out and rightly so. And why should iwi commercial interests be treated any differently than any other commercial interest???

Carbon news also appears to have the insiding running on the political machinations surrounding the ETS

According to Carbon News;

The Maori Party is deeply divided over changes to the emissions trading scheme – but wont split its vote on the issue.They reckon that three of it's five MP's don't support it but they will still back the legislation.. and are likely to file a Minority report and they say

they say that the Maori Party dont like the current scheme, introduced by Labour because, it didnt go far enough in cutting greenhouse gas emissions.
Apparently they have got some concessions like

protecting low-income families from rising energy costs as a result of the scheme, the shifting of the allocation of free carbon credits from fishing boat owners to quota holders, and the inclusion of references to the Treaty of Waitangi in the ETS.
Carbon News also reckons the Maori party pushed hard at the select committee forcing 5 days of deliberations instead of the one the govt had reckoned on.
MP's Rahui Katene and Hone Harawira are at odds with the rest of the MP's.

Carbon news says if these two voted against it , it would prevent the bill going ahead.

Yip this issue has all the hallmarks of a grade A cluster f**ck.


Should non commerical lawyers do commercial deals?

Did RIM design trackballs on blackberries to help blokes finesse clitical aspects of the oral art of love?

Did you get an invite to the National Party Caucus Xmas do at the big whare on Tinakori road ?

Why is Sean Plunket smiling these days?

Wednesday, 18 November 2009


Our mates are in London for a special occassion and a holiday.

One is there with our newest Knight, Sir Ngatata Love - a very respected academic, visionary and fine leader of his people.

He took with him, to the investiture, our very good friend Aroha Thorpe who has worked tirelessly with Ta Ngatata for many years on many issues.

You can read Aroha and John Thorpes adventures here.. Which included dining at one of Gordon Ramsay's restaurants..
We are green with envy.

John didn't get to the palace for the formal proceedings but did get a history lesson.

Tuesday, 17 November 2009


We are sticking to our guns and not blogging on Ngai Tahu politics. However Gotcha has a very interesting post on a woman who seems to be doing everything for everyone.. We may follow up in due course but what Whale has uncovered will be of note to anyone with an interest in Maori and especially Ngai Tahu politics.

and for the record - Whales opinions are not ours.

Definitely a wahine toa to watch.


We have been advised that Wellington's resident curmudgeon is about to turn 70 soon.

Apparently someone near and dear to him decided to commission a book about his life to celebrate this most auspicious milestone. Well known luminaries around the traps were given a chapter each to pen.

Ink has flowed, blood from frantic fingers has dripped on steamy passages of hitherto unknown tit bits about Bob's life.

However, it seems that those who worship at the Church of Jones are to be disappointed. The man himself doesn't want the book to see the light of day..

That may be his wish but we know a few chapters of the Book That Must Not Be Printed still exist. Hidden from view, pages are fluttering in anticipation of being read by the masses.
Will all be revealed...?

God knows...

Monday, 16 November 2009


We blogged the other day about the demise of our blackberry trackball. It had a terminal fur ball.
Essentially Telecom's "authorised dealer" was going to charge us $250 to replace and fit a new roller ball. The phone is out of warranty but they refused to supply the drop and load trackball kit. and it would take a week.

We smelled a con. And we were right. We paid $20 including post and package from Arwel in Porirua on Trade Me.Turn around time to get the replacement parts - 48 hours.
Time to take out old bit and put in new bits - 45 seconds - yip you read it right - 45 seconds

It works a treat.

So we will be ringing Telecom tomorrow for some answers.

We will blog in due course.


We have been a bit busy today but managed to catch some face time with a good mates talking about texts, jail, buying up forests, help the government with its courageous new policies, Maori politics, fish, shagging, the government giving away land to Maori and we still managed to hoover the house and cook dinner.

Anyway we just read Cactus Kates blog on some secret squirrel emails from some very worried senior staffers at the Herald...

It's disturbing stuff. Interesting in that the blogs have worried Herald Editor Tim Murphy enough to resort to commenting over at Gotcha about it . He also deemed it serious enough to set aside a few column inches in the Herald to say that his journos were still fearless and unfettered. Bollocks.

Well we know that the Herald still has some of the finest reporters in New Zealand among their ranks but some of the emails definitely point to a softer line being taken since the days when we were a scribe. Take this:

1. Conservative editorial approach

Editorial could take a more conservative approach to the subject matter and content of the risky or contentious articles. Where editorial identifies an issue or risk in an article the relevant passages could be proactively removed, or rewritten internally, to remove the perceived risk, as an alternative to obtaining legal advice on the risks of publication.

The above bit is the one that causes us the most concern. Hell, when we earned a living riding the white charger down the inky black road, the boys at Izard and Weston were our friends. In fact we never really thought we had done a decent story unless we had to get them to give our copy the once over before it went to bed.

So Mr Murphy is being a little precious when he says the emails don't really show any change in editorial policy. They sure as shit do.

The emails that Cactus has in her possession clearly show that writing a story that pushes the boundaries is being actively discouraged.

As blogger we know for a fact that is happening. Bloggers are often given material journalists can't get past their editors. They leak stuff to us knowing full well it wont get a run in the dead tree press.

We used to say that all good stories need a home. These days the best of them are finding the first rays of daylight on blogs.

We here at Roarprawn have broken many stories about Ngai Tahu, its leadership and even clowns and thats just a few tiddlers in the last few weeks.

So we reckon that Mr Murphy's quick reaction to Cactus's revelations shows he is bloody scared.
The story is being extensively run on blogs both left at Red Alert
and right like Whale at Gotcha and Inquiring Mind

And the fact Murphy himself has given the story legs by devoting some time to refuting it in his own publication says that he may be the master of spin but a stranger to the truth.

Sadly we find no joy that the publications the nations trust have their balls in the vice grip of the bean counters.

Blogs are rocking the establishment... how long before they rule?

Sunday, 15 November 2009


We knew this...

The telegraph reckons new research shows that bacon helps relieve hangover symptoms.

Bacon and poached eggs, on thick wholemeal toast washed down with a Banana smoothie means that after a couple of vinos too many - we can win the DomPost trivia quizz with ease....

Hat tip ( Francis T ( facebook. )