RANKIN IS CRANKIN

Well well. It seems that outspoken Maori and media slut David Rankin has some supporters on his home turf.

Rankin hit the headlines the other day for doing a slam dunk on an issue that has itched us for a long time - that the King of Tainui had somehow morphed into the Maori King.

So today we see that his own iwi agree that Rankin can be abrasive but that he speaks the truth and is reflective of a larger body of opinion within the tribe. And that from no less than Sonny Tau.

"Let's not pussyfoot around. Ngapuhi has never been part of the Kingitanga. I don't think what he said was wrong. It was the way he said it.

"I sit back and giggle to myself sometimes - he's got balls the size of moa eggs."

For his part, Mr Rankin says he isn't going to change his "shock and awe" method.

"I realise that the media is our new marae. There are 126,000 Ngapuhi. If I was to call a meeting at my marae there'd be 50 people.

"People say Ngapuhi are wild but in reality we want everyone else to put their point of view across. This has started debate.

"Who is critiquing Maori society today? Nobody. You have to have debate otherwise you may as well be Pakehas."

Ngai Tahu have never had much love for Nga Puhi - something to do with them cuddling Te Rauparaha - Ngai Tahu's sworn enemy but today we want to tautoko Sonny. What he has done by publicly supporting Rankin is open up the way for some unedited, reasoned and forthright debate on some important issues facing Maori.

We expect that level of support will see Rankin develop bigger balls. And from a girly point of view he aint bad lookin either.

Let the korero begin.

OFF WITH HIS PECKERHEAD

We have never supported monarchies. We are hardcore republican.

Either has Ngai Tahu for that matter. They pay deference to the role of the Tainui King as a mark of respect to Tainui but Ngai Tahu have never believed in the sanctity of the Maori monarchy.

Ngai Tahu supported the notion of tribal chiefs and the paternal role they played but at any time they could be replaced if their leadership skills were found wanting. The mere fact that these days - the tribal chief - the Kaiwhakahaere is subject to a vote bears that out.

Tainui's "king" Teheitia seems to be drawing inspiration from that well known bunch of inbreds the Windsors - in a bid to ensure that his primary role is to provide light entertainment to us all. He is fast becoming a mirror image of that other overblown wanker full of his own piss and importance - the King of Tonga - who is the laughing stock of the Pacific.

Now Teheitia was born into Tainui "royal" family but in the real world he was a former truck driver. By all accounts he is a nice enough bloke but he is not up to providing the pomp that one expects from a "king."

And rumour has it he loves travelling more than a muttonbird and adores all the scraping and bowing that goes with his title when he goes overseas. He apparently gets a far better run from foreign dignitaries than he does in NZ.

The latest leaking of some poorly constructed advice about how "commoners" are expected to look and behave in the presence of the "king" shows how silly, and frankly insulting his reign has become to the rest of us who descended from a mix of waka bailers and chiefs.

Funny thing is - in times of old - crap "royals" usually got the arse from the general populous if they started to act like dickheads.

While we don't advocate a beheading, its time that Tainui had a good look at the external damage this anachronistic institution is doing to the tribes mana. So maybe its about time that Tainui looked around their whanui for a better leader and got all modern and scrapped the King thing.

If the tribe really want respect they need to get rid of the silly fatuous monarchy that does little but bleed the coffers of the tribe and that does little but reinforce the commonly held pakeha view that Maori are a bunch of uppity dumb arses who like shiny things.