ACT OF OLD

Well there are few surprises in the ACT list.

However keeping the 3rd spot open leads to speculation its either Catherine Isaac or Cathy Odgers.

We are glad to see that the very odd Hilary Calvert is toast. But at the end of the day its still a party of old people especially if its Isaac at 3 . Which makes it a party of the past - not of the future. Thats a bugger.

For once the old turks of Act should have looked past what must be their very short dicks and an onanistic view of life - and put some up the candidate food chain who are at least closer to forty than sixty. Sadly its not the case.

It should have been Cactus Kate Cathy Odgers at #3, and there were a few young ones who should have also been given the nod for a place within cooee of the top spot to indicate a willingness to rejeuvenate the ranks.

There are two young men in the middle order but they are both more of the academic ilk than get out and take a risk Alan Gibbs and Bob Jones types and too far down the ranks to have a snowball chance of getting an MP salary.

David Seymour, 28, who is number six on the list and standing in Auckland Central, has just returned from a role as a senior policy analyst at the Frontier Centre for Public Policy in Canada. He is an also an author and rugby coach. Mr Seymour stood for the ACT Party in the 2005 in the Mt Albert electorate.

Stephen Whittington, 25, who is number eight on the list, works in the tax law team of a corporate law firm. He is also a champion debater who has been named as one of the top ten speakers in Australasia and in 2009 was named as the 15th the best speaker in the world. Mr Whittington has worked as an adviser to Sir Roger Douglas in Parliament.

Cactus would have fired up the campaign like none of the others could. They needed her intellectual grasp of what ACT really stands for and the courage and conviction to articulate it so others could see the sense in some of their old party values.

Even though Isaac is much admired for preserving her good looks despite her advancing years - she is just as much an old boiler as Boscowen, Banks, and Doddery old Don.

Sadly they got rid of the only bugger who doesnt fire blanks - Rodney Hide and they must be rueing the day they made that decision.

We reckon ACT will be in the political wilderness post this election - consigned to jumping up and down and uttering outrageous statements in the hope that someone will give them a column inch or two in the local community paper.

And while we were in Auckland it is very evident that ACT is far from a sure thing in Epsom - which they must win to have a shit show of making the political grade.

ACT for relevance? No

ACT for the future - Not a bloody chance.

UPDATE : Whale is absolutely on the button when it comes the skullduggery behind the scenes in ACT.

The Biggest Loser(s)

This chap in Seattle wonders why he has been single for 12 years. Even Jillian Michaels may be unable to relieve him of his fat head.

"I am a 35-year-old Seattle-dwelling male who has been horribly single for 13 years."

"Seattle has a disturbingly low number of Average Attractive women. The fallout from this, combined with Seattle culture, has been disastrous.

The typically small number of Very Attractive women is even lower in Seattle, and the number of Average Attractive women is so low that they got bumped up a notch on the Men They Can Chase After scale. This has seriously depleted the pool of single Average Attractive women, and this then pulls up the Not So Attractive women into the slots normally reserved for those who are Average Attractive.

The Average Attractive women now consider themselves Really Pretty, and because of the vacancy they left behind, the Not So Attractive women now consider themselves to be Average Attractive." - RainyBrain

Maybe there is a lesson in there for Phil Goff and Don Brash ?

CUDDLING THE PINK CORPSE OF NGATA

Its bloody obvious that Don Brash has jumped the shark by concentrating on Maori issues this election.

The number one issue is the economy and Brash has put just one elongated piece of Perigo waffle out yesterday about inflation. Thats the big brain hit. Or miss. Today he's back on his eurocentric, paternalistic monologue on whats good for Maori. And instead of telling Maori to look forward he has told them to look back.

Maori don't vote ACT, they don't want to stand for ACT and they definitely don't want to be associated with Don Brash.

We reckon a lot more vote National now but thats cos National has frilly pink knickers on these days.

In fact Brash is so hated that Willie Apiata could be #1 on the ACT list and Maori still wouldn't vote ACT. Instead they would just lift their skirts or drop their trous and give Brash a look see at the hairy brown eyeball.

So in the interests of political enlightenment I gave Cactus a call about the Brash's latest stunt. I wanted to know what she thought about Brash hugging the crap out of Apirana Ngata's tombstone.

Ngata died in 1950 so he's Brash's perfect Maori running mate for ACT. He can't talk back cos he is dead. He wont tell Brash he is wrong and we know Brash likes being associated with Brown people - his wife is Asian and as Winston Peters reckons Asians are just Maori who stayed north of the equator. So Brash the living cadaver - wants to resurrect the corpse of the great man and because Brash has made so many cock ups -a dead person is all he has left to offer up as a candidate.

Cactus has been prickly lately because she's having to say "no comment" to journos. When Cactus refuses to comment on issues we are pretty sure it means she is livid.

I've known Cactus long enough to be one of the few people in the world with permission to call her before 10am. So I did and told her of Brash's latest stroking of Ngata's tombstone. "Too fucking busy" was her muted answer.The ungrateful bitch hung up in my ear.

We suspect in Dorothy Parker fashion that in fact she aint busy unless you count finding nubile men to entertain her at 2am in the morning as busy.

Brash claims Ngata would be Leader of ACT if he was alive today.

Cactus I know can't comment but reckon she will be all alone in a foetal position clutching a teddy bear for comfort in response to this latest fuckwittery by Brash.

Brash is right - to a point - Ngata loathed the fact that Maori had become addicted to welfare. He did believe in self reliance but he also had some pretty lefty views as Michael Bassett points out in his review of Ranginui Walkers book on Ngata.

"At first he supported individualisation of land title till he realised that too many Maori then sold. He then promoted leasehold tenure and consolidation; but many sold their leases. As the Maori population increased, Ngata urged – then introduced in 1929 - state funding for development schemes so they could benefit from what remained. Native Minister during the depression, He Tipua (“the superhuman one”) was remarkably successful at collaring state resources for Maori projects."

Hell WTF??? Special state funding for development schemes ? That would go down a treat in the ACT manifesto.

So Brash finally thinks that he has found the perfect running mate - but it seems that he has picked the wrong dead Maori to epitomise ACT ideals of minimal state intervention.

Brash has to go. And we will be counselling Cactus against having anything to do with the the crazy batty old coot.

FUCKWITTERY REPEATED

Don Brash needs a better minder.

All we want to hear from Act is :

Lower Tax - more lower tax and even more cuts to tax.

Maybe a bit about law and order

And some more about reducing the cost of doing businesses.

But this silly shit will not get them over the 5%.

One thing they really need and fast is candidates of the calibre of Cactus Kate.

CLUSTERF**CKAROONIES

Crikey - Bustedblonde and the Brunette bugger off to the traditional killing fields and Lambcut finds her inner arab, Don Brash gets a hard on , Trevor Mallard launches a smear campaign of stellar proportions which could indicate he will announce his retirement soon and Hone Harawira cuddles up to terrorists.

And somewhere deep in the heart of Pakistani suburbia America finds Osama Bin Laden in the first place they should have looked - his house.

While sitting on an island far far away BB and the Brunette had to listen to RNZ as it was the only station that had reception so far south.

So 0ur predictions?

If Brash doesn't shut the fuck up and stop burbling on to journalists and have a bit of a think before he whistles wank words through his rabbitty molars - ACT will be history.

Getting a hard on as the new leader of ACT is understandable but poor old Bustedblonde and Brunette struggled to listen to RNZ as Don droned on for no good reason.

Message to Don - less is more. Economy of thought and in speech old bean.

And Rodney Hide showed great dignity in defeat. We hear he wants a new life with a new bubs and missus. We wish him well.

We were also ever so pleased that Dr Brash gave Heather Roy nothing. Its what she deserves.

As to Hone? Ya toast mate - sorry but the only bastards who vote for you are the pricks who seldom piss before lunch so there is no way they are going to get out of their own way to saunter along to the polling booth.

And to America? Can we have the facts about Obama please? And we will need to batten down the hatches- there a long war on the horizon and it will not benefit NZ.

And finally to Trevor Mallard - you sad sorry idiot. We still cant stop laughing over the "twenty questions" blog stream - the origins of these rumours, is a couple of deep throats, in more ways than one, who have a voracious sexual appetites that required political variety.

We bet that there is a wet willy somewhere in Labours ranks.

And to the authors of the 5 texts who wondered if we were in anyway involved in the Brash Coup- We don't do bloodless coups- too boring. And besides the Brash coup was really an elegant updated version of a successful strategy- that level of sophistication is way beyond the capabilities of our simple dimple brain.

PUSSIES

Now we have been gobsmacked by the lukewarm reception that Brash's 2025 Taskforce report has received. It was the viagran policy we have been waiting for. The one that was going to make us look all fiscally flash like Australia. It was a big hard and very, very exciting in a big swinging economic dick kinda policy way.







But what did we get?

Lets have a look see? Nah
Ohh that's exciting stuff Nah
Holy - that looks interesting ? Nah
By gum that's bold ? Nah
Hmm - we will have to give this some thought? Nah.
Lets have a play with that and see what happens? Nah.
Might hurt a bit to start with but then it will feel real good? Nah

We got - "Its bloody scary and its tooo big for us to swallow - and anyway what would people think of us!


Pussies they are. Pussies.

LEFT RIGHT

We could hardly believe our eyes.. the caustic communists over at the Standard have for once got it right ... Its probably one of the best reasoned and well written issues on the Foreshore and Seabed issue apart from Hootons NBR column. Well done them.

SAYING SORRY

This is simply an extraordinary admission.

Don Brash said today that he had made a mistake over the way National viewed the Foreshore and seabed issue..

He now understands that much of the trouble was based on the reluctance to let Maori have their say in court. Brash, for all his faults is an honest bugger. It is this type of admission on which we can build a better future for our nation.

Personally we think that Brash never really understood Maori or Maori politics and now maybe he does .

We hope that we see some good pragmatic decisions on the Foreshore and Seabed issue and that will take some compromise from both ends of the debate. It's about property but it is also about the fundemental collective identity of our nation and the things that matter most to us and our access to our coastline is one of them.

We can work it out...

WHISPERING GRASS = PART SOIXANTE WITHOUT THE NEUF

Fran O'Sullivan has a crack a the lack of effort by police into the Brash stolen emails. Now Whale and Kiwiblog both point out to Fran that the Police Minister may not be able to call an inquiry.
Interesting.

KiwiBlog has also called the inquiry pitiful.

We expect to see more about this in weeks to come.

WHISPERING GRASS - PART RIMA

We have just learnt that the Ombudsman knew nothing of the release of the partial file on the stolen Brash emails this week by Howard Broad and his team at Police National Headquarters.

As we predicted, the file was nothing more than blank or blacked pages and press clippings. But here's the kicker - the police released them in that form without consulting the Ombudsman! The words of Guyon Espiner are ringing in our ears, Cover up - whitewash.

There will be more on this saga in the coming weeks.

WHISPERING GRASS PART QUATRE

Remember we said that some of the sequencing of the police inquiry was important and that the inquiry started well before Brash laid the official complaint?

Well heres the evidence that the police were investigating long before Brash asked them to.

090513 Police Letter 1

Publish at Scribd or explore others: Law & Government Business & Law police national head brash emails

090513 Police letter 2

Publish at Scribd or explore others: Law & Government Business & Law don brash emails



Question for today . Do the police and GCSB like working together??

TALKING TREES

It seems the NBR has let the very witty and very observant Rob Hosking loose on the Brash Email police cock inquiry cock up scandal. Or whitewash and cover-up as Guyon Espiner elegantly puts it.

Take a look at Mr Hoskings lovely read.

WHISPERING GRASS PART 3

read very carefully........

Brash 2

Publish at Scribd or explore others: Law & Government Business & Law theft new zealand

AND

Brash 1

Publish at Scribd or explore others: Law & Government Business & Law nicky hager cyber theft

WHALE DIVES DEEP - IN FOR THE KRILL

We are in oar so to speak.

Whale has been digging deep about Rangi . You need to read it. Here

Seems we have the indymedia in a frenzy - No denials - they are just sobbing saying how unfair we are. Get over it we say - live by the patu and all that.

And there are some timing issues everyone needs to understand. The police were investigating the email theft before Brash asked them to.

Police were first notified of the alleged theft of emails on 30 August 2005. They began their investigation on 28 September 2006.

It was in effect, one of the slowest, longest investigations in police history.

DID THE GCSB EVER INVESTIGATE THE BRASH EMAIL COMPLAINT?

We wonder, we also wonder why in 2006 the GCBS's Centre for Critical Infrastructure Protection listed NINE significant cyber incidents.

In 2008 there were TEN significant cyber incidents listed.

But in 2007 the GCSB did not list the number of significant cyber incidents.

We would like to know:
What constitutes a significant cyber incident.
Why the number of significant cyber incidents for 2007 where not listed.

And we tried to upload the annual Reports but SCRIBD says they are encrypted and password protected.. So sorry, you will have to go to links to read the info.

GUYON DOES DO GRUMPY

Very exciting Radio with Pictures this morning. Guyon the ever serious information seeker was a tad outraged and we dont see that very often. He used words like "whitewash" and "coverup." after he received a leaked copy of the police file into the stolen/hacked Brash emails.

The police have written nothing about much ado, according to the guiding one.

We completely agree. What is very good is that when Guyon does get his incisors into a meaty story he will chew on it till he gets to the marrow. So we await with breathless anticipation his ruthless endeavours to get to the bottom of this suspicious and complex tale that goes to the heart of parliamentary security.

And when Guyon and all the other shiny bummed scribes in the press gallery get a nanosecond to spare can they please ask the GCSB where on earth their annual report is? What does it say?
Is there another story here?

HOLY MOLEY

Well, what the Vulcan Hell ( we have just been to Star Trek) is going on??!!
Two moles in one day - one there according to Whale
And another here perhaps?

Can this be allowed? Surely not. We want action. Can someone -(not the police - they don't seem to be very good at investigating this sort of stuff. )

Security Intelligence Service perhaps?

And why has the GCSB Annual Report been removed from their website? Apparently it was only added on the 30/4/09

Now its gone.. Why is that? How curious.

UPDATE : According to the ever breathless pretty young thing on the late TVNZ news, Don Brash is going to be on Breakfast in the morning....

SPEAKER ASKS - "WHATS UP?"

Looks like Lockwood wants some reassurance as well.

We missed this in the Dom on Saturday :

Speaker Lockwood Smith wants police to brief him on their investigation into the alleged theft of emails from former National leader Don Brash to assure himself that Parliament's computer system was not hacked into.

Dr Smith said Parliament's computer security specialists had a "pretty high level of confidence" that the system had not been accessed, but he wanted to know what police had found.

So it appears The Speaker is keen for some answers.. More voices to the growing chorus for truth.

BIG QUESTIONS TO PONDER

Who is Rangi Kemara?

Is that his real name?

Has he ever had access to the IT system in parliament?

WHISPERING GRASS II

We missed this story on TV3 on Saturday about the Brash emails and the impending release of the police file on the issue.

Brash reckons he wont every find out who stole them. Maybe he is right. However, what we want to know is why they were stolen and why the police investigation was so shoddy and what the hell the secrecy was all about. And TV3 have also mentioned the burglary of Diane Foreman's home. ( she was Brash's par amour) what was taken- was it really expensive stuff or just really interesting stuff?

So this week we wait with interest to see what the contents of the police file on the Brash emails contain.