CODDINGTON CARVES UP ROY

After an afternoon spent planting roses and lavender, we were wondering what we would write about - and then we had a squizz at some of our favourite blogs and columns and realised that our work had been done for us.

Firstly the best bitch slap we have seen for a while. All the better because it was so deserved.

ACT's saccharine sweet Heather Roy gets a smack from columnist Deb Coddington.

It will have hurt - as it should.. Heather has aspirations a way above her station.

Its time the prissy missy got real and realised that she is only a Minister because of Rodney and she hasn't even been a shining star in a portfolio that is a PR wet dream.

Act is Rodney - love him or loathe him. He is the brand.
And if Heather and the rest don't get it then they should walk. They are of course politicians of principle aren't they?

THE DEVILS BIBLE

We have been advised that Wellington's resident curmudgeon is about to turn 70 soon.

Apparently someone near and dear to him decided to commission a book about his life to celebrate this most auspicious milestone. Well known luminaries around the traps were given a chapter each to pen.

Ink has flowed, blood from frantic fingers has dripped on steamy passages of hitherto unknown tit bits about Bob's life.

However, it seems that those who worship at the Church of Jones are to be disappointed. The man himself doesn't want the book to see the light of day..

That may be his wish but we know a few chapters of the Book That Must Not Be Printed still exist. Hidden from view, pages are fluttering in anticipation of being read by the masses.
Will all be revealed...?

God knows...

THE CHURCH OF JONES

It has been bought to out attention that there is a new cult emerging to rival that of Destiny Church's Brian Tamaki.

It is the Church of Jones- and the Bishop is Bob.

If your name is Deborah and you write columns for a living then its a fact that you will become his lay preacheresses - sent out to spread the gospel of Bob.

Deborah Hill Cone has shown the strength of her faith here and here as well

Deborah Coddington devotes an entire " feature" on the Church of Jones here
in what must be the ultimate show of her faith to the Church of Jones.


To them the word is Bob, Bob is Good, Bob is Great, - Glory be to the Bob.

PORTHOLES

Our father, who is relatively well known for his un PC take on life often refers to sunglasses as Maori portholes. Now cos he is a Maori he can get away with it.

Today we wore our flash 5 year old Maori portholes with pride after they rated a mention in the NZ Herald on an article on Bob Jones.

Our encounter with Jones a week ago is documented here.

However despite the fact that Jones can be a rude and obnoxious old git, we are absolutely delighted he is going to stir up next years Wellington City Council race.
Hell- a bloody loo - ya.

We have been hearing that a good team is being readied. Excellent. We want to see business savvy, creative people who can take the city to the next level.

We also agree with Jone's idea to ban all cars in the central city and turn it into a bloody great promenade and mall.

Wellington local body elections are always so bloody boring and Jones is just the bastard to spice them up. Hell we might even take off our sunglasses to attend the launch..

ITS NOT GOOD ENGLISH

We know that a few sub editors would love to get hold of Busted Blonde and strangle her for showing the English language such disrespect. We knew that our disregard of the apostrophe irks some of our senior readers and they are not too fond of our bad language either.
But we have decided that we might try and clean up our act a bit after we got a signed copy of Your Joking by Mary Mountier, the lovely wife of the irascible Garry Ward.

It really is a very good, well written mini tome on punctuation.

It was given to us by Spaz, who is a bit of a pedant which is odd because he is an Aussie.

So we are taking the hint. We are going to try and get our apostrophe's right now.