SWEDE AS

A vegetable that evokes in us some misty memories of a wonderful childhood has been given its own festival.

We grew up on the Southland Swede. The maroon banded yellow swede that has been livestock fodder since farming began in the south is also a welcome addition to the southern dinner plate.

However, our favourite memory of eating swede was not at the kitchen or dining table, it was in the paddock. As kids we grew up on family sections cut from my Grandfathers farms. So as soon as the sun rose we would be off over the fence to our playground. In the cool months of swede growing we would grab our ponies chuck on a bridle and head to the swede paddock armed only with a pocket knife.

Every kid had a pocketknife.

Then we would wander the swede rows to find a good sized one - not too big or too small and haul it out of the ground. Then we would rub the sticky dirt off on the nearby frosted grass and sit down and carefully peel off the hard outside layer to get at the sweet frost crisped inner glory of the swede and we sit and chomp on it as we would plan our day.

If we did forget our pocket knife we would peel the outer layer off with our teeth. And sometimes the frost rendered our fingers useless for welding a pocket knife so teeth were the only solution.

Our favourite accompaniment to muttonbirds is a baked spud and a big mound of mashed boiled swede seasoned with a bit of salt and pepper and crowned with a big dollup (actually a massive amount) of butter. You need to make a wee well in the swede mound fill it with butter and when its all melty fold into the mash and eat the sweet swede meat.

They also enhance mashed spuds - a dish combining both is known in Scottish parlance as "Neeps and Tatties"

There is nothing like a southland swede even though it is a culinary favourite elsewhere in the world often known as rutabaga - it yumminess probably has something to do with the rich southern earth and hard frosts. We have tried the northern varieties from the supermarket but they are dry and woody and lack the crunchy moist texture of our beloved southland swedey.

So good on Mataura for paying hommage to such a wonderful vege that has played a very significant part in the agrarian landscape of the south.

THE GREAT BALLSY BISCUIT MYSTERY

It seems that the prep for the Rugby World Cup is really underway.. But here is an interesting story in the Southland Times from the Deep South. A great Southland Institution - Kayes Kitchen is producing what will be yummy rugby ball bikkies - but they cant say for who... So we have a mystery. Pass it on.

DIRTY DAIRYING NEEDS TO CLEAN UP ITS CRAP

Half of all dairy farms inspected by Environment Southland are polluting rivers and waterways to such an extent that they are liable for prosecution.

Dairy Farmers seem to have grown in arrogance because of the important place the industry holds in our economy. Dairy farmers are making good money and there is no excuse, that in the race for bigger profits, the amenities the rest of the community own and enjoy are degraded in the process.

Tourism is also a vital income stream for this country and fishing is a big drawcard- in fact its a poster child for the tourism industry. But the arrogance of the dairy industry is squashing the face of tourism deep in a muddy green eutrophic mire.

Environment Southland has a obligation to get tough with dairy farmers. This level of non- compliance is not acceptable. If it is possible for half of all dairy farmers to comply then it is possible for all dairy farmers to comply.

BIG TEETH OR BIG VOICE

We will be keeping a close eye on what is shaping up to be the second most interesting mayoral battle  in the country. 

It's the one between  Tim  Shadbolt and Suzanne Prentice.  We have never liked Shadbolt that much  - He has  done some good for the south though - his constant attention seeking has meant that the South has enjoyed a reasonable media profile. 

After all Tim is famous for being famous. 

Suzanne is a business woman who also knows the art of  promotion and  her first foray into local body politics as a sitting member of the Invercargill Licensing Trust has obviously whetted her appetite for a wack at the Southern Local body crown. 

The South, despite its conservative streak, has been kind to women local body aspirants. They voted in Eve Poole , one of the best and most formidible Mayors of Invercargill and ex kindy teach Frana Cardno has become, as Southalnd District Councils Mayor of long standing, its best cheeleader. 

So Suzanne's tilt will come as no surprise. She is independently wealthy enough that the job is not about the money  - for her it will be about making a difference.

Its a different story for Shadbolt though - the best he can do is go back to pouring concrete. He has never done much else  - He is humourous enough that perhaps he can do the country pub circuit and spin a few yarns but thats about it. 

So for him, he has everything to lose.  He isn't above fighting dirty and and he has made some very significant enemies in the south. 

The ex driving instructor Neil Boniface  and current deputy Mayor is the other possible contender for the Mayoral chains and there is no love lost between he and Shadbolt. He is also a career politician. He is a nice enough bloke but not Mayoral material. 

So our money is on Suzanne. She is a sensible, smart  savvy and loves Southland.  Just what the South needs . 

MILLION DOLLAR SALVAGE

Seems our cuz Vaughn Fisher has been in the news again. This time in a mission that took him to iceberg country when he was asked to salvage a yacht drifting waaay down south.

Bluff fisherman Vaughan Fisher was contracted by Mr Luchtenborg's insurers to tow the stricken yacht Horizons back to Bluff.

Mr Fisher, Mr Luchtenborg and four crew left Bluff on Saturday afternoon on board Mr Fisher's 18m cray boat X.S.

Mr Luchtenborg said the salvors were to travel 500km from Bluff into the southeast Tasman Sea and his wife had been plotting where the yacht was drifting using GPS from Germany.

"It (Horizons) was very easy to find."

While he was elated to be reunited with his yacht, which he has owned for a year, it had sustained additional damage in the days since he abandoned ship, he said.

As well as the rudder damage, the yacht was carrying some water after being swamped by rough seas, its weather vane was broken and the automatic pilot system was damaged, he said.

He planned to stay in Bluff until parts arrived to repair the yacht before sailing for home, he said.

Mr Fisher said yesterday the salvage operation took an epic 50 hours and covered about 1000km – the furthest he had ever been to undertake a tow.

The crew spotted the yacht about 9.30pm on Sunday and had it under tow an hour and a half later.

Mr Luchtenborg wept when he first saw his yacht, but the tears were those of relief, Mr Fisher said.

"After checking his yacht he clambered back on board, gave us a big hug and was hollering in German.

And we salute Vaughn , he had delivered, to the parents of BustedBlonde, a polybin of crayfish to help them celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary.
However it had the courier a bit perplexed.. Instead of the old mans name it had the correct street number and name but was addressed simply to "Mogoo."
Dad's nickname that has its origins in some bad ass comic character.. ( not to be mistaken for the myopic Mr Magoo

IRONY FROM THE DEEP SOUTH

This is the last time we will blog on the current Hone Harawira and his troughing issue .

The Southland Times has produced what must be one of the finest pieces of satire we have seen in years..

Read on........

On Saturday, November 7, this newspaper printed an editorial headlined "Beyond the pale" which, we now accept, might have created the impression that Hone Harawira, MP, harbours offensive views about New Zealanders, writes The Southland Times in an editorial.

The editorial stated that he regards inconvenient rules as the "puritanical bullsh*t" of "white motherf***ers" who have raped his country. It concluded that he represented a serious liability to the Maori Party.

We accept that these comments were potentially damaging to his status and standing in the minds of right-thinking New Zealanders, and possibly even some of the liberal lefties as well.

The editorial was based on news reports regarding incidents Mr Harawira has since clarified. While he regrets certain maternal references made during the heat of political debate, and accepts some sub-optimal procedural issues resulting from his decision to redirect his attentions from work in Brussels to play in Paris, Mr Harawira continues to assert that he was exercising his right not to be held, inappropriately, to a standard set by this country's European colonisers.

The Southland Times is happy to accept the following:

• Mr Harawira does, in fact, have some Pakeha ancestry, which we omitted to research and include in our editorial and which, had it been included, could have put his comments in a more informed context and saved him from needing to appear on radio to explain that he does not hate Pakeha; not even Paheka like Phil Goff and those other Labour Party members who should be put up against a wall and shot.
• The editorial comment of November 7 might have created the impression of an unreasonable, unbending disposition by stating that he was "not the sort who would do penance".

We acknowledge that Mr Harawira did subsequently issue an apology. Although this newspaper previously, in February 2005, published a quote from Baroness Orczy that read: "An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he may be", this should not be taken in any way as intending any aspersion to be cast, subsequently, on Mr Harawira's standing as a gentleman.

The Southland Times further accepts that Mr Harawira's apology now stands as a matter of public record. As do the following observations:

"I can wholeheartedly apologise for not being at all sorry." humourist April Winchell.

"Why should I apologise because God throws in crystal chandeliers, mahogany floors an the best construction in the world?" Jim Bakker, evangelist (subsequently disgraced) on his enjoyment of a well-rewarded life.

"I have failed to live up to the important principle that I have set, that politicians should always remember that they are spending taxpayers' money, and therefore must spend it carefully." Rodney Hide, perkbuster.

"Accept everything about yourself. I mean everything ... You are you and that is the beginning and the end – no apologies, no regrets." Henry Kissinger.

"I believe that to be forgiven, more than sorrow is required; at least two more things. First genuine repentance, a determination to change and to repair breaches of my own making. Second, what my Bible calls a "broken spirit" ... a renunciation of the pride and anger which cloud judgment (and) lead people to excuse and compare and to blame and complain." Bill Clinton (eventually).

"We're honestly so f*****g sorry." Monty Python

Brilliant.......!

KAKAPO

If you are in the South next Saturday - go and check out the Kakapo in Invercargill. If you are a rich bugger - Take a special trip. They are going to be on public display for a very short time.
They will change the way you see things. They truly are innocence personified. Yip they are dumb, they have not adapted fast enough to survive with out millions of dollars and assisted breeding programmes. They would have tasted fantastic as well. But all jokes aside they are one of the most amazing birds you will ever see.

And the pic is taken by Barry Harcourt - one of this countries finest snappers.

NO JOKE

We broke this story a couple of days ago
A Ministry of Fisheries observer plays what he thinks is a prank by telling his boss a "fresh arm" has been found in the trawl net of the vessel he was on. It sparked off a chain reaction with police starting the process for a search and rescue.
- and the Southland Times has followed up today.
Silly bugger.

BURT MUNRO BIKE - WHO HAS THE REAL ONE

When we saw the stories about the sale of Burt Munro's famous 1936 Velocette motorcyle we thought our old boss Neville Hayes from Invercargill must have parted with his. For as long as I can remember everyone knew that his Dad Norman had Burt's bike. ( Sadly Norman died a couple of weeks prior to the movie release.) We were surprised by the sale as the Hayes family has an extensive collection of vintage vehicles and the Munro bike has always taken pride of place.
Anyway The Southland Times has a yarn this morning that clarifies the position . The real Burt Munro bike is still owned by the Hayes family. So while someone has paid $71,000 for the " Burt Munro bike - it begs the question - did he get a good deal?

SOUTHLANDER IN THE THICK OF AUSSIE BUSHFIRES

We grew up with David Latham, we were all part of the Otatara horsey set. He flies muttonbirders as well. He is a pilot with some significant flying experience under his belt so we are not surprised to see that he has been helping out across the Tasman to fight the bush fires. Helipro also has a couple of machines in Aussie as well that are used for firefighting.

BY GUM

Bob from Bluff was seated with Ian Templeton, and Barry Soper at the back of the Beehive theatrette today, waiting for John Key to arrive for the post-cabinet press conference. All Southlanders. All best described as being of a mature age.

They were chatting about this, that and the other, and recalling that Jack Grimaldi was editor of the Southland Times when Soper began his journalism, and so on.

Obviously they were speaking loudly (to overcome any hard-of-hearing handicaps any of them might suffer). A bright young spark a few rows in front proclaimed to the rest of the press gallery: "It's like Last of the Summer Wine back there."

We reckon they are right -above is a pic of the stars of the show and bugger me they do bear a striking resemblance to the wise old scribes.
Norman Clegg - Barry Soper
Foggy - Ian Templeton
and Bob ( Compo ) Edlin.

Just curious though - does that make Heather Du Plessis- Allan ( Sopers youthful Squeeze) Nora Batty?

THIS IS AN OUTRAGE - BLUFFIES RULE

There is no other oyster in the world that compares to the Bluff Oyster ( ostrea chilensis). The same species flourishes in many part of the country including the Marlborough Sounds. Nelson Bays and the Chathams but none have the taste of Bluffies simply because of what they eat. Its like comparing corn feed and grass feed beef - Salt marsh lamb and grass fed lamb. Wild forest fed venison and grass fed venison. The beds of Foveaux Strait are full of minerals only found in the south. Its what gives the meaty southern oyster its extraordinary taste - some say it delivers a taste that speaks of endless ocean depths. Its a taste that lingers leaving a hint of of sea on your tongue long after the oyster is swallowed.
So we discover today on scanning that venerable organ of Truth in the South the Southland Times that Bluff Oysters cannot be branded Bluff oysters. There is a pretender on the horizon - Cuisine Magazine has reported that Tio Point Oyster Co ( Tio being the Maori name for oysters) is farming them from the cold waters of Tory Channel. Good on Bruce Hearn. They will be good, they may even be excellent but they will not have that big bollocksy metallic tang of the Bluffies. And there lies the answer - legally it may be a stretch to use the label Bluff for the oysters but in the north they are regularly referred to as " Bluffies" so there is the solution. So all you oyster barons dip into your long pockets , sell a BMW or a horse for two and invest in a decent advertising campaign to cement the Bluffies as the only true oysters - based on the maxim - " You Are What You Eat"
We have written stories in the past about how some sifty oyster barons , when the Bluffies were out of season, imported the inferior Nelson dredge oysters and washed them in water from Foveaux Strait to try and imitate the Bluffie taste.Various restaurants we have visited over the years have tried to pass off the Nelson oysters as Bluffies and we have sent them back and in every case had a red faced apology from the chef ( in some cases some pretty bloody well known chefs).We have run, been involved in and presided over a fair few taste tests during the last two decades and in each case the Bluffies were easily recognisable over the Nelson oysters.
So Southland, you need to get moving an secure the name in one form or another to cement the reputation and recognition of one of New Zealands great culinary icons.

SOUTHLAND EMERGING TOURIST HOTSPOT

The Southland Times leads with a great story about Southland being named as one of the top 20 emerging destinations in the world.

It's recognition that is well deserved and overdue. My home province is breathtakingly beautiful. My favourite places are Stewart Island, Te Anau and the road from Riverton to Manapouri. But there are other great places. Like the Dunsdale Picnic area , the scene of many a wonderful childhood picnic and horse treks in the Hokonuis. It has easy and wonderful walks that meander along side a lovely blackwater stream.

And there is the isloated splendour of Oreti Beach - wild windy and wonderful.

SOLID SOUTH EARNS DEPOSITOR RESPECT

The Southland Building Society new banking status and solid reputation has made it the first port of call for depositors who are risk shy.

Good on Acton Smith , Ross Smith and the team

WINSTONS BIG GIFT TO OLDIES -A TOTAL LOSER

Well bugger me, just as we thought- Winstons SuperGold card for oldies( or is it Helens?) is a complete and utter waste of bloody time, according to a story from the deep south.

We heard the same story over in the Wairarapa. The travel benefits are pretty limited. Much grumbling among the seniors there and now this in from the Southland Times.

So here are ten good uses for the Super Gold Card

Car Window Scrapers - On that cold winter morning and your windshield is all frosted over.
Unlock doors - If you have the right kind of doors, credit cards are a great way to unlock your door if you’ve locked yourself out of your house. Slide the card in by the bolt and move it back and forth until the bolt is moved over far enough to pull the door open.

Wallet - A friend of mine who lives in New York city has been the victim of a pick pocket a few times. Now, he carries a fake wallet in his rear pocket and his real wallet in his jacket. He fills the fake wallet with expired or fake credit cards, a dollar or two, and other misc. stuff.

Test your shave - Not sure if you’re getting a good shave? Run the edge of a credit card over your beard. The noise will tell you how well you shaved.

Aquarium Glass cleaner - Have a saltwater aquarium? Credit Cards make excellent glass scrapers for removing Coraline algae, and other crustaceans that grow on your glass.
Straight edge - Not able to find your ruler, use a credit card instead. The edge is very smooth and straight.

Caulking - Ever wonder how those professional carpenters get that nice smooth look? Me too, but I’ve found a really great cheat. Run the rounded corner of your credit card across the caulk bead for that professional look.

Bookmarks - Although I prefer something a little longer and thinner, credit cards can make for great bookmarks

Shims - Ever need to level something or fill a small gap when nailing up molding? Credit cards stacked up make great shims.

Guitar Pick - Now this is one I would have never thought of, but the thickness is about right.

HAVE A BEER AND TAKE A TRIP TO THE SOUTH

A nice marketing strategy is getting a bit of attention in London
where a Southland team is trying to lure doctors to the south.

Remember, Southland is where the economy just keeps getting better and if you believe in global warming, the weather will get better as well.

Go Southland!

Doctors lured with free beer
Expatriate health professionals are being offered a free beer and a flight home by southern health boards trying to lure them south.
The offer is part of a Return to your Southern Roots gathering at the Speight's Southerner bar in London on October 18.
BB has southern roots.

The Healthdownsouth website says the gathering had been organised in conjunction with their "mates at Speight's" who were offering a free pint to the first 100 expat Kiwi health professionals who confirm their attendance. That side of the promotion was questioned by Southland board member Fiona McArthur at a Hospital Advisory Committee meeting yesterday.
She asked whether it was appropriate for the health board to align itself with the Speight's brewery brand given the Government's announcements regarding healthy lifestyles.
She qualified the statement by saying it was not a criticism and that she was a consumer of the product.
Silly woman ....

Chief medical officer Pim Allen said the offer was not in conflict with the government's position on alcohol consumption.
"The offer that we have made is for one free beer and I think the government advertising is about responsible drinking, not no drinking." The response to the offer had been positive, she said.


The health boards were also offering free flights to Dunedin or Invercargill to those who took up employment before October 31 next year as part of the campaign. Those who took up the offer would be bonded for 12 months.

Thats got to be attractive.
Otago-Southland health boards chief executive Brian Rousseau said a local focus was important when recruiting staff and Speight's was a prominent brand in the southern part of New Zealand. He noted that a paper was being prepared on the ethics of the health sector aligning itself with certain brands, such as McDonald's and Speight's, he said.

Good on them using the best there is
A spokesperson for Lion Nathan, which owns Speight's, could not be contacted for comment yesterday.


A report to the board on the promotion said the event encouraged the audience to consider a return to the south, where they began their studies and careers.


well with the serious probability that John Key is going to be the next Prime Minister, we here at Roarprawn are getting emails from lots of expats seriously considering coming home .

HOMETOWN HORRORS

This is a shameful story and I am appalled how the authorities are handling it - they want to discuss the issue with the skinheads. They are the most loathesome of all the gangs and they are a gang - normally the lickspittles of the bigger white power biker based gangs but with all the creed that goes with this insidious culture.



Shame on you Southland for letting this happen to new migrants.



These people will help our economy grow - learn from them and respect them and treat them as you would your own...









This from the Southland Times



Complaints about foreign students being abused in the streets have prompted two Invercargill leaders to plan meetings with skinheads to discuss the problem.
Two Indian students had already decided to return home this year after they were abused by a carload of youths, Southern Institute of Technology chief executive Penny Simmonds said at a Venture Southland meeting yesterday.
Other Southland leaders cited instances of mothers being ignored at day care centres, 6-year-olds uttering racist remarks and migrants in rural areas feeling so isolated they visited the library simply to talk to someone.
SIT spent hundreds of thousands of dollars attracting foreign students to the region and acts of racism in the city were undermining its efforts, Ms Simmonds said. In a bid to tackle the problem, she and Invercargill Mayor Tim Shadbolt were arranging meetings with Invercargill skinheads to discuss the issue.
Mr Shadbolt said a designated student area with a hostel needed to be established away from the central business district because anyone walking through the city at night faced the risk of being abused "even if you go out with a police patrol" .
"I'd hate to be wearing a turban walking up (the street in) Invercargill," he said.
Southland District Mayor Frana Cardno said she had heard of migrants going into early childhood centres and being ignored and cited an example of a 6-year-old coming out with a racist statement. Council chief executive Dave Adamson said some migrants in rural areas were so isolated the library was the only place they could speak to someone outside their immediate family. National MP Eric Roy said he had heard of skilled migrants leaving Southland because they felt threatened.

SOUTHLAND REMAIN STOIC IN THE FACE OF VOLITILE MONEY MARKETS

The Southland Times reflects the Southland conservatism as the Wild West Show raises nary an eyebrow in the deep south.

Impossible to predict impact of sharemarket fall: advisers

Southern investment advisers yesterday said while the fall in the New Zealand sharemarket was of concern, it was impossible to predict the full impact.

Forsyth Barr Invercargill manager Paul Tuckey said he expected at least short-term market volatility.

"But the current market is down about 3 percent while the United States market is down about 7 percent; at this stage it has not hit quite as hard." While the downturn in stocks could be concerning for some investors, for others it created a new opportunity to expand their portfolios, he said.

"A lot of investors these days have a good understanding of the market," he said.

Mr Tuckey said he had not had any phone calls from concerned clients yesterday.

Southern investors were more conservative than elsewhere, which was often reflected in their investment portfolios, he said.

"Good advice is important, but no more now than always," Mr Tuckey said.

ABN Amro Craigs Invercargill branch manager John Wilson said the sharp drop in share prices was largely reactionary to the events overnight but was buoyed by the stability shown by the New Zealand sharemarket at its close.

However, he said there could be market fluctuations until a resolution was found in the United States.

Wit from the Deep South

VERY good cartoon from Southland Times Chicane aka - Mark Winter. He is a good bastard ... dabbled in local politics in Southland - and an award winning cartoonist.