SOOO TRUE

Funniest thing we have seen for ages

Hat Tip Alf Grumble

Oxford University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.

WHAT WE WANT FOR XMAS

For our blogging mates



For Cactus - a stunning looking rich as bloke who doesn't have a wife at home.
Nah - what we want for Cactus is a newspaper to realise the talent and hook her in as a columnist .




For Whale - someone to deliver a bad ass tank to his front door.
Nah - what we want is for him to have a fantastic day with his family

For the boys at No Minister - lots of sex and booze
Nah - recognition that they are the best team bloggers around.

For Motella - A full house over Xmas
Nah - a contract to write for the AA magazine.

For KiwiBlog - A super rich cute political loving geek chick that roots like a rabbit.
Nah - actually super rich cute political loving geek chicks who root like rabbits in every town in NZ.

For Red Alert. - A poll that shows they are closing the gap on National
Nah - a poll that shows Shane Jones is more popular than Phil Goff.

For Alf Grumble - a fine paddock or two of hay.
Nah - A posting to be our man in the Ukraine. We think he would do wonders for our trade relations in Eastern Europe..

And what do we want for Xmas? Well we have got all we wanted.

Family around us, good food wine and the expected company of good friends to our little piece of kiwi paradise.

Our partner – the Aussie Rock has been toiling away building a house that will be our retirement abode and a place for our friends to parkl up and shoot the breeze.

The Rock bought me an ice making fridge,/freezer - something that I have always wanted above all other material possessions for no good reason. It shines like a diamond in the yet to be completed kitchen. We love him all the more.

Our son is seeing the fruits of hard graft and has a career he loves flying helicopters.

Our job is interesting and has some importance so we are feeling a measure of satisfaction.

Ma and Pa are looking pretty good for 70 plus coveys.

Lambcut has given up the cancer sticks and her eyes and skin have shed years in a matter of weeks. It almost made us cry to see her smoke free.

In the New Year we vow to support the agencies who work tirelessly to stop our children from ever taking a puff.

So for 2010 we just want the same again thanks

We wont blog too much over Xmas - we have things to eat and drink , people to talk to, places to explore, gardens and flocks to tend to and families and friends to love.

Merry Xmas and all that....

BLOG BITS

This will make us think twice about buying " Fair Trade coffee" again - seems its designed to keep poor people poor. Eye2theLongrun often has some interesting blogs on economics..

Inquiring Mind who does some great fisks - fisks Fran O'Sullivan.. excellent it is.

Alf Grumble does a great piss take of Winnie the Poo.

And Gonzo has a funny cartoon about House Tv series..

and we only have 5 days of work left before we are on Holiday! And only 3 days before the olds cross the ditch in Bugsy's Burrow

BLOG ROUND UP

We were the lone voice among the VWRC when the petulant Michael Laws gave a lovely bunch of kids some stick for getting crappy about the spelling of Whanganui. Today however, Adam over at Inquiring Mind has an elegant take down of the dick head Joris de Bres who decided to give the kids concerned a certificate. While we still say that Laws handled the whole affair badly, De Bres has again shown he is a dork. So Adam gets top points for his take down.

Kiwiblog is afraid, that his honest and spot on analysis of Key in very public forums may not endear him to the PM.


Alf Grumble covers the most important event of the week.

And the doom merchants over at Red Alert blather on about the Bridgestone closure

BEGGIN YER PARDON M'LORD

Apparently we have come to the attention of the Lord bloggers in Britain. They are all from the House of Lords...

We are delighted that they have acknowledged the colonials in the antipodes.

Welcome to our New Zealand readers

Thanks to kiwiblog, as well as roarprawn and Alf Grumble, we have attracted a fair amount of traffic from New Zealand as well as apparently generating a little internal debate there. I hope our New Zealand readers will become regular followers, adding to our international readership.

This entry was written by lordnorton, posted on October 21, 2009 at 9:14 pm,

Well done chaps. Any time you want a extra rider at the hunt give us a shout... We have been blooded you know.

Arohanui and toodle pip.

BEST OF THE BLOGS.

Ethical Martini has a very humourous take on some of the hysterical American style media coverage of the Napier shooting here and here

He rightly points out the breathless reporting of rumour as fact in the race to be first with the latest breaking events.

Whale Oil sticks it to David Shearer, the Labour candidate for Mt Albert who thinks that crime isn't a big issue in Mt Albert.

Home Paddock has a roundup on two big philanthropic gifts - one by Eion Edgar for the Olympic committee and the other from New Zealandiophiles Julian and Josie Robertson who have donated a stunning art collection to the Auckland Gallery and finally and most importantly for farmers, some largesse from Ravensdown offering drought ridden farmers some relief.

And Alf Grumble obviously learnt more than stock ratios, wool classing and optimum rates of hop consumption when he was a young tigger at Lincoln University doing his Dip Ag. He does a lovely, almost scholarly dissection of some wankers PHD on the effectiveness of blogging.

And GoNZo does a nice takedown of some crap subbing at the Herald.

And Hat Tip to Cactus for this one - some executive eye candy for all us executive sweet tooths.


And then Adam over at Inquiring Mind has a lovely poem called the Gords prayer. Nice find.

We had the day off - getting hair done, bit of shopping to help support the economy and a wee bit of non blog writing..

RUMBLE WITH THE GRUMBLE

Well it appears that Grumble thinks he has a good plan for Busted Blonde to lose some weight. We don't get it. He has joined us up to PETA

Pamela Anderson fronts it from time to time , now we thought Grumble was promoting BB as the new front for PETA - we have the right assets.

But no, he reckons that we should be helping them with their PR after they tried to get Minister for Spider Bites

and Natures Flatulence, Nick Smith to support their cause by pleading with him to go vego.

Now we know that Nick Smith is no vego - he definitely does not like muttonbirds and we chewed his arse off one day and he definitely did not have a vege taste about him. So Peta was on to a loser from the start by asking Dr Smith to come to the aid of their banana loving rank and file.

Now Alf reckoned that eating veges and giving up meat would see us slim. Bollocks. We will trim the fat off our lamb chop and wriggle and giggle our way to Sweating with Socialists to get rid of the lard or our arse thank you very much.



And Alf had is wrong - we don't do PR. We are into Affairs - the more Public the better - Its says so on our card. PR is way too boring for us.

GRUMBLE AT HIS BEST

The Quixotic Alf Grumble puts his arthritic foot up the arse of the BioEthics Council this morning. National is going to kill off this waffly naval gazing think tank and saved the taxpayers well over a Million. We think that Grumble is smack on. Read his summary here

ALF GRUMBLE FINALLY COMES UP WITH A DECENT YARN

The layabout MP for Ekatahuna Alf (wee willy ) Grumble has a very good analysis on a strange apartment development in the Hutt.

Just why a council is supporting a commercial venture in this way deserves further scrutiny. Well done Alfred. Take a bow. Take a gander here

BUSTEDBLONDE DOES POLLYANNA

As much as bloody old curmudgeon Alf Grumble MP , the member for Ekatahuna ( his nickname is "wee willy" by the way) would have you believe, we are not a doom spewing dame like Cassandra

He has his cravat in a knot over our concerns about the economy.

Reckons we are too negative. But does appreciate our breasts. He is not alone in appreciating our assets. He calls BB a lass but well, as we have lost all our wisdom teeth and a back bicuspid chewing on one too many birdy heads, it is fair to say we are fortyish and fab, buxom and bodacious, wrinkly and reckless but alas a lass no more.

So "wee Willy" Grumbleguts - here is our list of things to be pleased about.

• We are fit and well endowed.

• Paula Bennett is shaping up to be an inspiration for all who come from struggle street.

• Judith Collins looks like she has full control of her police portfolio

• Georgina te HeuHeu has employed some thinking women's crumpet as her advisor - and he is smart as well.

• We have some lovely new clients.

• We like Tim Grosers approach - he has his guitar strumming fingers on the pulse.

• We have tended to reserve our judgement on McCully - but bugger us, he is rising to the occasion and considering the Mculliavelli is not that tall that's a bit of rising.

• Wellingtons Restaurants have improved their service as they have to look after their customers more.
• And best of all there is a wine glut - that means we can drink more for less!!