GO THE ROCK -

We reckoned that tthe Rocks competition to win a trip to the Ukraine and hook up with a good looking sheila and marry her - was fine. It involved consenting adults.

So we just caught up on the fact that the Rock has continued to take the piss out of the PC brigade yet again.

The competition which was "win a wife" is know known as Win A Trip To Beautiful Ukraine For 12 Nights And Meet Eastern European Hot Lady Who Maybe One Day You Marry'competition.

Excellent! So when is the "Win a trip to fantastic Stewart Island for 5 nights and meet a staggeringly handsome bloke who wears white gumboots to bed and likes rooting lots but smells a bit fishy, " competition going to be held,"

Just so I can give my mates - especially Cactus a heads up .

COBWEBS AND CACTUS'S COAT

Last night we saw a tweet from TV3's Rachel Smalley @RachSmalley who is fast becoming a twitter princess.

Anyway she was interested in doing a piece on voluntary celibacy. It made us think of a not very well known social club that operated back in the late 80's early 90's on Stewart Island. It was called the Cobweb club. Numbers fluctuated but there were about a dozen hard core members. Membership was only gained if you had gone a whole year without a shag. What was even funnier is that these women were all good looking sheilas. Funnier because at the time there were over 60 single men on the island.

They were a motley lot.

Anyway we missed out on entry by about 10 days. However, because we were fervent believers in the southern sheilas maxim, that no roots are better than bad roots, we became an associate member.

Anyway to Cactus's coat. Cactus will never be a member of the Cobweb club but she could be an associate member cos her mates have got her to understand now that no roots are better than dud roots.

So our high flying financial diva, Cactus is soon to be off jetting around the world again and she has dragged out one of the great man magnet clothing items - the fur coat. It doesnt have to be real - just fluffy - its a tactile thing. Men like stroking fluff.

And so what does a modern girl wear under a fur coat ? Easy - nothing.

A FAMILY GUY

This is a superb example of an old Hooker's Sealion Beach Master and one of  his mates  and a kid. He rules his domain fiercely. While we are on the muttonbird island they leave our beach and head for Small Craft about half a km away .. Then when we leave they go back to our island. Occasionally they visit us and growl and groan  and as in previous years they keep an eye out for when we set the greenbone net and after about 2 hours they thief all the fish. They are cunning enough to pull them out head first and can eat about 15 in  a few minutes. They are also quite at home deep in the bush and its nothing to find them 2km into the  big forest of Stewart Island  near a fresh water creek or river. Their Maori name is whakahao.

BIRDS OF A DIFFERENT FEATHER

During the past two weeks in the bay of a little muttonbird island at the entrance of Pegasus Harbour on the south east Coast of Stewart Island, we managed to get a few hours dingy fishing with a green line. We caught a few trumpter and a few more blue cod. But the biggest joy proved to be the mollymawks, as we know them, who sat about three feet from the dinghy waiting patiently for us to dong bony kelpie fish on the head and sling them overboard. The three or four birds that tracked the dinghy argued and scrapped over the titbits. But at the closing of the day, with drops of sea water on their silken feathers, the dying sun amplified the majestic beauty of the birds

TWO WEEKS OF CHICK CHATTER

This is  the noise we will hear at the muttonbird islands every night. You get used to it. It mainly occurs in the evening and the morning  as the parent bids communicate with the chicks. For the record we do not eat the eggs. Muttonbirds only lay one.  We harvest the chicks at night. This video, apart from the the error about eating eggs is cool. Sort of an avian Blair Witch project. 

IN DEEP

In about three weeks we are going to be here.

Its Ernest Island which is a  short swim to Stewart Island, one of the southern most and isolated muttonbird  islands and on a good day with the sun shining on the ebb tide and the fish biting, its kinda paradise. When the southerly comes up and your words are thiefed by a gale to disappear forever - its  hells next door neigbour .
And yes, those waters are so clear you hang over the end of the dinghy and watch the blue cod commit suicide on a rusty hook baited up with the arse of a muttonbird.


We have been commissioned to write a story on this years trip , which we will be taking with our 73 year old father, 69 year old mother and 28 year old son.

The story will be in a magazine called New Zealand Today - and the editor is an old work colleague, Allan Dick.
We will be without  a cellphone and there is no internet coverage. We can talk on  a VHF and in the past we have taken down a Satellite Phone, but it costs a bit  - last time it was $600 for 2 weeks.( if anyone wants to sponsor us  - please let us know!)

It will be hard work,  and fun and always brings us closer together as a family. We work and live together in very confined quarters - Our power is a generator, we have a coal range that needs all the love an attention of an expensive mistress to keep us a warm and fed.

We have a long drop  but we have a good shower. Well we did two years ago. The first few days are always spent gerry rigging the things that have broken or deteriorated without constant maintenence. Its one of the joys and challenges of the place. Getting by with what you have got at hand.

We will take our computer  and blog when we can  and then we will put them all up on Roarprawn when we get back about the 14th of May. We will be taking a video as well.

And yep we sell the birds we catch to defray expenses.  It will cost  the four of us over $2500 to get down  by boat and chopper from Bluff  and thats is not taking into account the $1000 dollars for me and the son to fly Air New Zealand. But its worth every godamn hard earned dollar it costs to get there.
The boat we are travelling on is skippered by Jack Topi, he is  the grandson of Peter Topi, my Uncle who along with  a bunch of our cousins was tragically drowned on the Kotuku back in 2006. "Big Teep"  as my Uncle was affectionately known, would be bloody proud of his grandson, in fact his whole family have done him proud. 

We are alos looking for some guest bloggers to keep the Roarprawn feeding the masses while we are out of range.
And if you want to buy some birds then contact us on bustedblonde@gmail.com

WHAT LIES BENEATH

We make not secret of the fact that we support discrete mining in National Parks - if thats where the gold, silver, tin, coal and rare earth minerals lie.

Now there has been a bit on nonsense reported here and there that Maori wont want a bar of the mining proposals. We have said all along that there is much Maori land butting up to National Parks and some of the sites that will be prospected.

One we know very very well is Rakiura, Stewart Island.

Rakiura became a National Park after a deal was done with Rakiura Maori Land Trust in 1999 to forgo the right to log the trees on the Lords River Blocks. The trustees got about $11 million and the land was managed " as if it were a National Park. " It then formed the anchor and the argument for the rest of Stewart Island to become a National Park.

So we are hoping like the trustees of the past deal who made the best of a once in a lifetime opportunity that the new Rakiura Trustees are open minded to the possibility of mining the Lords River and some of the other land parcels under their guardianship.

What needs to happen is that the Trustees need to talk to the government about checking out what lies beneath Trust land. The Waitutu Incorporation and some of the other Maori Trusts in the Catlins and western Southland and Hokonui and Waimumu need to think about the opportunities as well.

The best decisions are made with the most facts at hand.
Piggy backing on the governments prospecting seems a sensible thing to do.

To completely disregard the opportunity would be to disenfranchise future generations of Rakiura beneficiaries.To say no before all the facts are known would be a travesty as the trustees are obliged to ensure that all opportunities are explored, analysed and tested.

And the current trustees need not fear the wrath of the Mayors. They did not like the Lords River deal much either until they were made to understand that what was good for Rakiura Maori was good for all of Southland.

This is an opportunity that must be seized upon. There are risks but the rewards could be great.

IN OUR BACK YARD - COME ON IN ..

We are heading south in about a month to Stewart Island in particular to a cute littlemuttonbird island at the entrance of Port Pegusus. We are pretty confident that any mining on Stewart Island is going to be In Our Back Yard.

We know one of the key areas on the island that is under consideration is likely to be the Tin Range. An ugly rock scarred ridge that sits atop Port Pegasus.

Mining has been attempted their before but it was too hard. It is also home tosome of what are called the rare earth minerals.

Pegusus on a good day is stunning - on a bad day it is hell.


We are confident and supportive of any attempt to mine in our back yard. Just as long as they sweep up the yard and put out the rubbish when they leave.

HOME IS CALLING

We got all teary eyed when we saw this in the Press today..
the Annual Maori vs Pakeha Rugby match on Stewart Island.

Its a great game and race relations is always a winner on the day.
We have been to a couple of these matches and even a few more after match functions over the years. Stewart Island is a good place to live if you are a Maori or a pakeha. Life, for the most part, is pretty harmonious.

And despite having respect for each other - they still take the piss.

It would be a better place to celebrate Waitangi Day. It's a melting pot - a good example of what we have become as a nation.

And the Kai there is waaay better than anywhere else.

Paua, mussels, White tail venison, Crayfish, muttonbirds, fab veges, salmon, - the list goes on.

Damn its makin us homesick again for the Land of the Glowing Skies.

SUPPLE TO THE TOUCH.

Whale penis leather.... Now we know why the Japanese really want whales. Their pizzles.

Funny thing is a few ( actually many ) years back we looked at the seal pizzle trade. It was very big in some countries but more as an aphrodisiac but as a food as well. And as you can see at two hundred quid a plate - it was a lucrative trade.
We are also aware that our cousins in the deep south are putting together a case to harvest seals around Stewart Island as their numbers are such that they are becoming a nuisance
So the Ruskies have bought out the most expensive SUV in history.. The Prombron. Its reeks of testosterone and its seats are carefully and artfully upholstered in whale penis leather.

THAT WAS THEN THIS IS NOW

Cactus has done a great piss take of Auckland's young loverlies who have been featured in the NZ Herald as NOW girls.

We are a WAS girl. WAS cool once now just wrinkly, grumpy and loving every moment.

So if we were asked the same questions as the NOW girls - what would be the answers. ?

Age: 49 and fucking fabulous

What she does: Blogger, mother, public servant and company director.

Career highlights: Teaching inmates how to put on condoms. Holding the Southern steinlager sculling title.

Future plans: Replace David Garrett in Parliament - go on Rodney you know I would back you up and I wouldn't trip over my tongue like that misogynistic arrogant git.

Creative Ethos. Take it to the limit and when you get there - gloat.

Creative goals: Never ever, ever be predictable except for the days we dine at Zicos and we always have fish, or at Tulsis where we always have butter chicken kiwi hot.

Anything else you want to do? Eat at Tetsuyas . and Rick Steins. Have all my mates turn up for my 50th next year on Stewart Island and drink the place dry and dine on crayfish, oysters and paua for the whole weekend. Drink more Christal bubbles. Still be able to laugh like a hyena when I'm seventy without wetting my nana knickers.

Her style: Fat chick velvet glam with lots of fur trim and sensible shoes. ( Apart from our prada sandals. )

RAKIURA BOYS FLY HIGH

Its good to see young men do well and there are two businesses down south that are worthy of some promotion.

They are Rakiura Helicopters operated by Zane Smith ( he's a cuz) (left)
and Stewart Island Helicopters
operated by Jason Wright.(above right

and of course BB's son works as an instructor at Helipro
out of Paraparamu. (above left)


Proud of our Southern Ngai Tahu Rakiura chopper boys we are.. real proud...

CALAMITY - AND PESTILENCE.

We have been blogging on this for a while.

It is arguably the worst muttonbird season in 45 years.

It affects many of our larger whanau.

It is a significant environmental event. Not unprecedented but significant.

CAPTAIN ERIC AWASH WITH CASH

While generally the Seafood industry is doing very well in the international arena Sanfords is leading the pack. Company CE Eric Barratt has been a champion of the Korean market for quite some time and now it is paying off.

We did hear a rumour that they were selling their mussels a bit cheap though, much to the chagrin of the rest of the market. Does this mean that Sanfords is looking to buy some mussel farms here in good old NZ?

It is good to see some fleet rejeuvenation as well. In the last few years there hads been a , sell down of, at sea assets across the NZ seafood industry.

Rock Lobster is another market doing ok as well.

Some very big shiny new boats in the Bluff fleet.

MUTTONBIRD SEASON A BAD ONE

<-------This pic is of the Helicopter on the beach of the muttonbird island we go to every year.

We blogged on early signs that this years Muttonbird harvest was going to be a bad one. Weather patterns appear to play a huge part in the parent birds ability to feed the chicks in the burrows on the islands.

As we feared it is a bad season. Birds are dying in the burrows and parent birds aren't visiting the island to feed the chicks. It happens. We can expect and see about one really bad season every decade. So all the climate change believers wont be able to blame this years bad breeding season on global bloody warming.Last year the chicks were huge and plentiful. This year they are not. Shit happens - it has happened before and we expect it to happen again.

Word is that some muttonbirders are already coming off the islands.

It is a sad place to be when the birds are dead and dying . The islands are spooky without the underground and overhead hustle and bustles of chicks and parents.

We may visit to check the place out. It will be a sad trip.

MUTTONBIRD SEASON NOT GOING TO BE GOOD

One of the most unique harvests in New Zealand is about to get underway on Wednesday but the news is not all that good.

Hundreds of Rakiura Maori, those with a blood right to exclusively harvest muttonbirds, are on or on their way to over 25 islands around Stewart Island. However the early signs are that this is not going to be a good season.

It is nature - and it happens at least once a decade. And the fluctuations are well recorded.

The crook seasons are cyclical as we have blogged before. Our family has a policy of not harvesting muttonbirds if the season is not looking good. I suppose some would call that conservation - we just call it common sense.

Some birders will go to the island's to check on their properties and make any repairs others will stay away . They only good thing is that a bad season with low numbers of chicks or chicks in poor conditions is always a precursor to a bloody good season. So if the early information is correct then next year will produce a bumper crop.

And while we may not go to our island this year our favourite Hooker Sealions will have the island all to themselves.

MILLION DOLLAR CATCH

We were delighted with the Million Dollar catch programme last night. BB's son used to crew on the X-S. and BB has been on boats in most of the places that were screened last night. Vaughn Fisher is my cousin and a tough but good bastard. Johnny Hawkeless used to crew for my father. And Rewi Bull is part of one of the biggest muttonbirding families of the south and his crew Storm is the son of another one of my cousins and a hellava cool kid.

So we thought that last night New Zealand got a glimpse of just what sort of crap these men work in. Its the toughest place to fish in New Zealand apart from perhaps the Chathams.

We liked that there is actually a story emerging and there are 10 episodes to go. While Vaughn and Johnny own their quota, Rewi does not. He has a tough row to hoe to make a buck. So the programme has featured a good spread of the types of fishermen the Southern Rock Lobster Fleet is made up of.

Ayway you can watch the programme here

MILLION DOLLAR CATCH

The Cuzzies are getting all excited - TV3's Million dollar catch starts inthe next couple of weeks It promises to be an eye opening, funny and irreverent fly on the wall glimpse of life on one of the toughest stretches of water in NZ and arguably the world.

And the Herald has a word with Vaughan Fisher skipper of the X-S

MORE ON MILLION DOLLAR COUSINS

Quite a few people have asked when Million dollar catch on TV3 will screen
I've just had an email from Tv3 - its at the end of February. Other boats will include the Kay Reece - Skipper Johnny Hawkless - ( who used to crew for my dad) and Rewi Bull who skippers the Shangri - La with my delightful young cous Storm as his crew.

There will be others from the Bluff Fleet as well - I sure hope that the Bluff community gets behind their local good ol boys - I can see Mayor Tim getting some mileage for the deep south from the programme.

GREENY BULLSHIT ABOUT HOOKER SEALIONS

The standard is going crook about new Fisheries Minister Phil Heatley increasing the allowable sealion bycatch for the squid industry.

We know this issue very, very well. There is nothing "threatened" about the Hooker Sealion population - there are thousands of the buggers in and around the oceans way south of New Zealand where the squid fishery is largely based. Note the use of the word "threatened" rather than "endangered" - which does mean that something is demonstrably in trouble.

BB gets up close and personal ( well as close as you can get considering their propensity to suffer from cetacean halitosis) with these wonderful creatures on a regular basis. We have even hand feed them and swum with them. Never stand in their poop. It is as vile as animal poop gets. Its normally white with little fishy bits in it and very slippery and it sticks to rubber like - well poop sticks to rubber. And they will chase you on land but in the water they dont seem to give a shit about you.

So the Standard and Forest and Bird are getting all hysterical because National has imposed a much more realistic level of by catch from 81 to 113.

Now, in 1998 lots of pups died from some mysterious bug. Curiously and importantly, overcrowding was not discounted as a possible factor in the spread of the unknown malady.

Up until that point there were an estimated 15,000. In 2003 it was estimated that the population was about 13000. Both of these figures are wildly speculative and considered to be a underestimate of actual number which fisheries experts put at about 20,000 . There is a population of about 30 - 35 that resides in Small craft in Port Pegasus. DOC estimated it at the time to be 5 -1o animals which has been one reason we have never trusted their estimates. As you will witness from the pics - an young one on the left and an old beachmaster on the right - they spend quite a bit of time deep in the bush. These two were photographed by BB about 1km inland up a fresh water creek with towering rimu all around.
So DOC takes pics of the ones on the beach - not the ones in the bush - which at any time seem to be about half the population.

They are truly magnificent animals and we were deeply upset when a fisherman shot some of them a few years back and left them to rot on our island beach. However we are also pragmatic and the Squid industry is an important one for New Zealand the forth largest in earnings at 86 million a year.

So at less than one percent this bycatch is still very, very low.

DOC's lickspittles over at Forest and Bird should look at other burning issues like cats on Stewart Island which do huge amounts of damage to small bird life instead of twittering and tweetering about the minimal collateral damage to yet another species of, to coin a phrase from Ta Tipene O'Regan, "charismatic mega fauna." But then thats the rub, F and B wouldn't get much traction for calling for a cull of a heap of bad pussies. So, instead, they just pick on the causes that will appeal to an animal cuddling public to ensure the donations keep flowing. How venal.