The Biggest Loser(s)

This chap in Seattle wonders why he has been single for 12 years. Even Jillian Michaels may be unable to relieve him of his fat head.

"I am a 35-year-old Seattle-dwelling male who has been horribly single for 13 years."

"Seattle has a disturbingly low number of Average Attractive women. The fallout from this, combined with Seattle culture, has been disastrous.

The typically small number of Very Attractive women is even lower in Seattle, and the number of Average Attractive women is so low that they got bumped up a notch on the Men They Can Chase After scale. This has seriously depleted the pool of single Average Attractive women, and this then pulls up the Not So Attractive women into the slots normally reserved for those who are Average Attractive.

The Average Attractive women now consider themselves Really Pretty, and because of the vacancy they left behind, the Not So Attractive women now consider themselves to be Average Attractive." - RainyBrain

Maybe there is a lesson in there for Phil Goff and Don Brash ?

Hot for Nanny

"Labour leader Phil Goff has has accused the Prime Minister of taking a Nanny State approach to young beneficiaries in the Government's youth welfare policy announced at the National party's annual conference on Sunday." - Radio NZ

Phil Goff is right that this is a "nanny state" approach and that the National Party is hypocritical after using the "nanny state" label against the Labour Party ( & the Green Party) during the last term of their government. In this case however New Zealand should be hot for nanny.

Brunette says :

"So congratulations to National for tackling the tough and arguably the most important welfare reforms first. It sends a strong message to the electorate - that National cares enough about the future of everyone in New Zealand to make some unpalatable decisions that the left have never had the balls to make." - Brunette

"Between 8500 and 13,500 16 and 17-year-olds are not in education, training, or work at any one time; 90 per cent of these people will go onto a benefit once they turn 18, and around 1600 are already on a special benefit for 16 and 17 year olds." - NZ Herald

If a 17 year old is not in education, training or work then they are going nowhere. Society cannot afford to have members who are not contributing and these individuals deserve better.

GOFF AND GILLARD BOTH TAKE A POUNDING

New Zealands Labour Party, facing the worst poll results in since 1996 will find no comfort in the latest polls from Australia. Gillard has led her party to its worst poll showing in 16 years.

Sucks to be a pinko.

STAY STAUNCH DAMIEN!

Dont back down.

You are our new political hero. You have shown courage and mettle. You have shown that you wont be cowered by titty waving feminazis and union thugs.

We though you were a crap Minister but we have always admired the way you stuck out your skinny neck to back up the good folks on the West Coast.

So stick this tune on your ipod as you head into caucus..

Dont back down... Every kiwi bloke and every sheila who loves and appreciates a good kiwi bloke is batting for you..

OHH BY GUM - MORE TROUBLE 'T MILL

Crikey what is Keeping Stock playing at! - He kept the most juiciest salubrious new info at the end of his latest post on the Darren Hughes affair.

Apparently, according to Chris Trotter - in an interview with Larry Williams - Goff and King positions will be untenable following what he thinks will be more revelations yet to surface.

Ahh that will be sweet music to

Andrew Little's buddies like Roger Middlemass, Calvin Fisher and Ray Bianchi and Helen Kelly.

Watch the Rise and Rise of Andrew Little.

TIZARD - POLITICAL TRAITOR ?

We are feeling a little sorry for Judith Tizard. Its clear that she is a political nigel no mates.

Goff, grinding his teeth, and described by Tizard as  "chewing dead rats "  - welcomed her back.

No-one in the Labour caucus has openly stood up and defended Judith thats how unloved she is.

But is Tizard letting go? No - she is going to be Chris Carters disaffected out of parliament twinny. She is going to take every opportunity to have a crack at Goff until he has gone. She is the woman that the media, hungry to expose dissent, will go to for a 15 sec sound bite. So the shit slinging will continue unabated. It also means bloggers will continue to highlight her musings, proclamations and general Labour insider gossip and so the circle goes.

However, her last comments about Goffs leadership and factionalisation surely must put her in the same camp as Carter in terms of gross party disloyalty.

It okay to fight tooth and nail for change within the party but to do it publicly ? Its tantamount to political treason. The new incoming Labour Party president , the affable Moira Coatsworth, needs to show some steel and toss her out of the party.

Or otherwise everything that Judith has been saying re the factionalisation and Goff's leadership will gain credence without any party denial.

Tough call to sever a long term party relationship with the Tizard clan but can Labour afford to do anything else?

We think not.

TIZARD FOR A PARTY TO SURVIVE A BOMB

Introducing the T-Bomb. At a $162k its a bargain.

Radioactive with a half life of 6 months.

Will poison all those who come into contact with the fallout.

We think that Judith will not be able to resist the pay cheque and the chance to have a say on who the next leader of Labour will be.

EVEN THE LEFTIES ARE DISGUSTED

Crikey even Kiwipolitico is expressing disgust in the rudderless, leaderless, powerless, characterless Labour Party.. A real sense of exasperation on the left in how the Darren Hughes Affair has been handled.

Poor buggers - we really feel for them - really....

BEST BLOG OF THE DAY

Lindsay Mitchell always has a considered take on political events and today is no exception.

She puts politics and the Darren Hughes Affair in its place.

Read it here.

We also watched Goff on Q and A today - he was not impressive. And tonight TVone news focussed on the disconnect between Goff and party prez Andrew Little.

While we think that Labour would be stupid to replace Goff leading up to the election we were quite surprised to see a clip on Marae of Shane Jones in a potae and a tie today -and he was minus the humourous banter. He was all serious and statesman like. So what, we wonder is he up to?

He has been a numbers man in the past and will be again. He is one of the few in Labour to have an ok relationship with Cunliffe.

And of course the Tizard factor is delicious.. We are confident that she will not step aside.

One thing we think is for certain it aint over for Labour until the fat lady sings

SPIT OR SWALLOW?

The leftie loons think that the Darren Hughes Affair is a Right Wing  Honey Trap Plot..

This on someones Facebook page.....

Sumner Burstyn

Is the Darren Hughes affair a covert American style (National Party) sting?

2 hours ago ·  · 

• • 
    

    roflomao!!!!!!!!!!!! you silly bint
    

    2 hours ago · 
  • 
    

    Geoff Lealand It would be reassuring to think so but it is probably just a foolish moment.
    

    2 hours ago · 
  • 
    

    Sumner Burstyn of course a foolish moment but is anyone investigating the complainant? I'd like to know. Was he set up, exploit a weak moment - it smells very much a Republican style set-up.
    

    about an hour ago · 
• 
  

Sad really that people could even think that..  So National ,who have a recession, an earthquake, an unstable global economy, the Middle East rocking and rolling and the West Coast still reeling from an awful mining accident - apparently  have the time to indulge in setting up a yet to be proven politician in the opposition party??
The Honey Trap using Swallows  were the stuff of legend  in the days when spies really were spies and a poke from an umbrella meant you were dead.

Hughes and Goff are in a sticky mess but its been of their own making. And as for Goffs future? Gone by next week. But Parker as the next leader ???  Wow  Joe Ninety  is even more colourless and souless than Goff.

If there really is a right wing plot its been perpetrated on Labour by the Tartan Mafia of Dunedin. Parker is their man and they are not socialists.

HUGE CAJONES - WE BOW TO YOU JOHN.

Well we always thought that this year would be interesting . We have faith in John Key and today he delivered. Not because he has the balls to call an election date so far out .. No that requires big balls.

No, sadly in New Zealands political MMP landscape, the really big hairy ball call comes when you tell to Winston Peters to F**k off.

Today JK did just that - he kicked Winstons arse into the political wilderness..

Winston will have opened a bottle of Blue Label Johnny Walker, after he heard Keys statement and be swigging it back thinking of past because now, that's all he has. John Key has consigned him to history.

Goff has no choices left. Vote for Winston and you vote Labour...

It is a stroke of political mastery. Bloody bewdiful. That means we can get back to planting taters and punkins, making jam and pies and biscuits and drinkin wine and ginger beer over in the Wairarapa.

This will be the cruisiest election year in history.

Thank you John Key. You have made our day.

RESOLUTE IN THE NEW YEAR

A few NY resolutions we would like to to hear

Mark Solomon - " It is now time to move on and let someone else take over. "

Michael Laws "I will stop thinking about kinky sex and get a girlfriend who only likes the missionary position and of course me"

Maori leaders " We resolve to start setting some standards. No gang patches on the Marae, and at any tangi. Our mantra will be ' gang tikanga is not Maori tikanga',"

John Key "I promise to be big and ballsy and make the hard calls to grow the economy"

Bill English " The public service will feel the pain of a thousand cuts."

Judith Collins " I will do what I did last year."

Winston Peters " I will stand in Helensville for the good of the nation."

Phil Goff " I will attend every BBQ that 17 members of my caucus are planning to hold over the summer for the sake of party unity."

Cunliffe " I will roll Phil Goff because I know that I have the superior intellect and I am better at being a shifty bastard than he is."

Trevor Mallard " I will work harder at being the most obnoxious Labour blogger because its so much fucking fun."

Clare Curran " I resolve to give the world peace and love and text Helen clark every night to tell her what a wonderful job I am doing and how popular I am especially with my own caucus."

Paul Henry " I will be a bigger star than I was - take that all you dick shits"

The Brunette " We will continue to take the piss and be obnoxious, talk about sex and country living and generally make lots of noise and swear a lot.

Cactus Kate " Shag more, Drink more, and write good shit, and make squillions while travelling the world in style. "

GOFF GOTTA BE OFFED?

That venerable publication Trans Tasman is well known for having the best insiders knowledge on the weird workings of politics. Its annual scorecard is always smack on. The politician who must be the most worried is Goff. He scored lower than King. Now in this annual summary much intel is gathered from within the ranks of the politicians. So its pretty clear that to get such a crap rating that many of Goffs colleagues must have a very dim view of him.

So where will the 17 meet in the next few weeks?

WILL THE 17 HAVE A BUSY WEEK?

Chris Carter reckoned that there were 17 Labour MPs who were keen to replace Goff .

And after Labours woeful showing in Mana we wonder how long it will be before the knives are out and Goff is removed from office. ?

LESSONS FOR LABOUR

Simple PR lesson for Labour. Ignore Carter. Keep talking about him and you give him something to talk about. And the media are in ecstasy over every hissy spitty comment from either faction. Goff engaging in some puerile swipe at Carter does him no favours - its not the sort of behaviour you would expect to get from a leader.

Obviously he is being very badly advised. He seriously needs a new PR team.

Being ignored would be Carters greatest punishment.

However, we do like Shane Jones comment when asked if he was one of the MP's who was plotting against Goff as Carter had suggested.

Mr Jones expressed disbelief, saying, "I fear that Chris Carter's illness is worse than we expected."

Jones has never lacked for a good turn of phrase.

ET TU BRUTE?

There is an interesting story circulating Wellington today in the wake of the Chris Carter scandal.

It is that more than one journalist has seen the list of Labour MP's that Carter has " interesting" information about. There are reportedly quite a few names.

The second story is that there really was a coup afoot to unseat Goff. They had met and sorted out their strategy. They were ready to pounce and that coup was reportedly led by none other than David Cunliffe and most importantly they had the numbers. And then Carter decided to indulge in some idiotic black ops - which fast turned into black slops when the anonymous letter to the Gallery led straight back to him.

The fact that there was a coup and that it was ready to go may have been the reason that Carter was so bloody ballsy after the event.

He knows the numbers are there to roll Goff. He knows there is a will for it to happen.

We think that the only thing that has really changed is the when.

Goff can do little else but watch his back and get his spies to check out for the charcoal smoke rising from the BBQ in David Cunliffe's backyard.

FOR CHRIS CARTER

CARTERS GOT MONDAYITIS

Well we hope that like all good employees that Chris Carter gets a Doctors note if he is going to be away from his job ( can you here the hyenas laughing in the distance??)

Its what real people have to do.

Poor Phil. Like really. Politics aside - he has had a shit run of luck. And now the pile of treasonous crap is gonna hang around for another few months...

CARTER - DARK ARTS FAIL

First rule of the Dark Arts - never in your own hand...... Shouldnt be a hard rule for a dick head to remember....

TAU HENARE IN HOSPITAL

Oh dear...

Just as we were prompting Tau Henare  to start thinking about running for Te Atatu if Goff decides to sack Carter, he has a medical emergency
From his facebook.....

Well at 2ish this morning I had a wee heart attack. Yip that's right. freakiest thing in the whole world. anyway, all is good they put a stent into my artery and hey presto all good on the pumping blood score. Rest and Recuperation. Don't Panic whanau and don't Jump for Joy either.

We wish the big bugger all the best. We talked to him the other day and he was committed to losing weight and giving up the fags. Te Atatu needs him.