CUDDLING THE PINK CORPSE OF NGATA

Its bloody obvious that Don Brash has jumped the shark by concentrating on Maori issues this election.

The number one issue is the economy and Brash has put just one elongated piece of Perigo waffle out yesterday about inflation. Thats the big brain hit. Or miss. Today he's back on his eurocentric, paternalistic monologue on whats good for Maori. And instead of telling Maori to look forward he has told them to look back.

Maori don't vote ACT, they don't want to stand for ACT and they definitely don't want to be associated with Don Brash.

We reckon a lot more vote National now but thats cos National has frilly pink knickers on these days.

In fact Brash is so hated that Willie Apiata could be #1 on the ACT list and Maori still wouldn't vote ACT. Instead they would just lift their skirts or drop their trous and give Brash a look see at the hairy brown eyeball.

So in the interests of political enlightenment I gave Cactus a call about the Brash's latest stunt. I wanted to know what she thought about Brash hugging the crap out of Apirana Ngata's tombstone.

Ngata died in 1950 so he's Brash's perfect Maori running mate for ACT. He can't talk back cos he is dead. He wont tell Brash he is wrong and we know Brash likes being associated with Brown people - his wife is Asian and as Winston Peters reckons Asians are just Maori who stayed north of the equator. So Brash the living cadaver - wants to resurrect the corpse of the great man and because Brash has made so many cock ups -a dead person is all he has left to offer up as a candidate.

Cactus has been prickly lately because she's having to say "no comment" to journos. When Cactus refuses to comment on issues we are pretty sure it means she is livid.

I've known Cactus long enough to be one of the few people in the world with permission to call her before 10am. So I did and told her of Brash's latest stroking of Ngata's tombstone. "Too fucking busy" was her muted answer.The ungrateful bitch hung up in my ear.

We suspect in Dorothy Parker fashion that in fact she aint busy unless you count finding nubile men to entertain her at 2am in the morning as busy.

Brash claims Ngata would be Leader of ACT if he was alive today.

Cactus I know can't comment but reckon she will be all alone in a foetal position clutching a teddy bear for comfort in response to this latest fuckwittery by Brash.

Brash is right - to a point - Ngata loathed the fact that Maori had become addicted to welfare. He did believe in self reliance but he also had some pretty lefty views as Michael Bassett points out in his review of Ranginui Walkers book on Ngata.

"At first he supported individualisation of land title till he realised that too many Maori then sold. He then promoted leasehold tenure and consolidation; but many sold their leases. As the Maori population increased, Ngata urged – then introduced in 1929 - state funding for development schemes so they could benefit from what remained. Native Minister during the depression, He Tipua (“the superhuman one”) was remarkably successful at collaring state resources for Maori projects."

Hell WTF??? Special state funding for development schemes ? That would go down a treat in the ACT manifesto.

So Brash finally thinks that he has found the perfect running mate - but it seems that he has picked the wrong dead Maori to epitomise ACT ideals of minimal state intervention.

Brash has to go. And we will be counselling Cactus against having anything to do with the the crazy batty old coot.

YAWN

So Don Nicolson gets the nod as a flash harry candidate for ACT. He is a Southlander - solid and dependable. And unlike just about every other swinging dick in ACT his ears aren't painted on. He listens to wise counsel.

However ACT needs young vibrant go getters of the ilk of Cactus Kate aka Cathy Odgers, if they have are to have even a nanosized chance of being back in the round house again.

ALL OVER FOR ACT?

Well when people like Hooton call time on ACT - they are pretty stuffed. Hooton's face book.

Matthew Hooton

Until this weekend, I was (as an Epsom voter) a dead-cert for Brash/Banks. Now, I am a dead-cert for John Key and Bhatnagar/Simpson/Donald Duck/Goldsmith or whoever National puts up. Not too happy about this because Key is a wet and voting National means implicitly voting Nick Smith, but there you go. May even give a donation and deliver leaflets for Bhatnagar/Simpson/Donald Duck/Goldsmith.

Then there is Whale .. He thinks Act is toxic We have to agree Act is toxic as Fukishima but not likely to share the nuclear plants longevity.

No Minister is gobsmacked by their complete silliness.

And Home Paddock has taken a womans view of the ACT vileness.

Now the thing is, apart from Homepaddock who doesn't left the house without blue nana knickers on, the rest of us in the VRWC had a fondness for ACT. We liked them because they could chuck a bit of borax at National if they went a bit wet.

But it looks like again we are all thinking the same thing. Sadly, it seems apart from Cactus, - who if she is wearing knickers at all , they will be yellow with blue lace, is still in there supporting ACT. National are too full of economic pussies for her. But we reckon even she will be pissed at Brash - she will be keen to see the party get back to its core messages around tax, and law and order and reduction of business costs.

So its clear to see that the VRWC has lost patience with ACT.

Brash is simply a fuckwit.

And in the nicest possible way thats what Rodney Hide called him on the Tele tonight as well.

Come back Rodney - all is forgiven!

FUCKWITTERY REPEATED

Don Brash needs a better minder.

All we want to hear from Act is :

Lower Tax - more lower tax and even more cuts to tax.

Maybe a bit about law and order

And some more about reducing the cost of doing businesses.

But this silly shit will not get them over the 5%.

One thing they really need and fast is candidates of the calibre of Cactus Kate.

GARRETT IS A HORRIBLE BASTARD

What sort of fuckwittery is this? Garrett may have escaped being charged with perjury but he is a complete arse. If ACT wants to get respect then bringing Garrett back into the fold is not the way to do it. We expected ACT to seek out candidates who were good and true citizens. But no - they appear to want to include misogynistic arrogant no account creepy bastards like Garrett.

Brash needs to get his political radar out of his arse.

THE JUICE ON CACTUS

We are delighted our mate Cactus has started on that tough journey to become an MP for ACT.

We first got to know Cactus when we started blogging prior to the last election. Her ascerbic wit and clean writing appealed to us as did her ability to articulate difficult issues and she was also well connected despite living off shore.

She has a huge intellect and to her friends she is loyal beyond measure. However, even her best mates and people she actually likes are not spared her opinions. It just goes with the Cactus package.

We first met her at a MP's house, who was later to become a Minister, the day after the last election.

We have been mates ever since and in one way or the other communicate every day or so.

Cactus is very rightish on all issues but to count her as heartless is to do her a considerable diservice.

She is actually a very kind, generous young woman (the shadow of 40 has yet to fall on her) and her largesse extends to those who find themselves in shitty situations through no fault of their own.

And those on the left who think she is racist are just silly. She has no time for people who lack ambition or don't make an effort to support themselves. Her opinions are not based on race - she simply has no time for people who suck off the public tit. She has no time for Maori leaders who foster a grievance mentality and welfare dependence.

She enjoys political debate and she has given some of my union and Maori mates plenty of lip without fear . She genuinely likes them as people , enjoys their company but she just makes it very clear that their philosophies are shit.

So we think that she will make a bloody good MP. Her problem will be boredom. The pace in parliament is mind numbingly slow if you are not a Minister. She would need to be given some big projects and as David Farrar says - there is no - one more suited to sorting out the financial and tax sector than Cactus.

ACT has a big opportunity to win some public respect by putting forward some candidates that will resonate with the public. The younger members of ACT - who make up a strong core of the party machinery would be keen to see Cactus take her place on the hill.

Older members have considerable admiration for her intellect she is a confidente of many member of the Business Round Table and many top media commentators and journalists.

So we ask the ACT board and its members - choose wisely and you will see the party grow again.

Choose only men and really odd women like Hillary Calvert and you wont.

NOW IS THE TIME - ACT

After we posted on the woeful Hillary Calvert last night - the phone started to go off.

It appears that deep within in ACT there is a realisation of an urgent need to revitalise the Party list.

Hillary Calvert is likely to disappear as it has already be decided she is too much of a liability. And it seems, that Heather Roy is likely to be asked to consider stepping aside for someone with more intellectual grunt and political nouse.

So the big news is Cactus Kate has been asked to become an ACT candidate.. And despite her being particularly hard to pin down as she swans around the world she did concede she would rule nothing out. In fact her first words when we asked her if it was true was

" How did you know wench?"

We just told her that our deep throat was bigger than her deep throat.

We would have to admit that her grey matter was awash in bubbles at the time and apparently she was smack dab in the middle of some Pacific Hunkfest which would account for the lack of sophistication of her answer to our political probe.

We also know that she has been considering, due to her advancing years and growing bank balance, that she needs to put down roots - not dud roots - real roots. Like buy a house or at least an apartment.

She has only just left New Zealand on a very low key visit but we know that she spent an awful lot of quality time with some key ACT decision makers and is due back again soon

So we hope that ACT pushes her hard to accept- she will increase the current intellectual depth of the party 10 fold.

If she gets to be an MP then we reckon you will see packed houses for question time.

And she will scare the bejeesus out of Key.

STUDENTS GET TO CHOOSE

Excellent! And ActonCampus has done a fantastic job of running the information and lobbying campaign for making joining student unions voluntary. Heather Roy has fronted the bill, good to see her back in harness doing things to make the world a better place instead of dreaming of getting rid of Rodney..

GARRETT RESIGNS

Thank goodness for that.

COULD THIS TAKE THE PLACE OF ACT?

The TEA Party - taking America by storm one anti onanist at a time, has set up shop in Aussie. There its moved away from being an actual party but more of an economic reforming movement.

TEA? Taxed Enough Already

With ACT's demise will the TEA PartyNZ be what rises from the ashes ?

FOUR KNEW OF GARRETTS IDENTITY CRIME?

Yup it looks that way. Funny the new and most important information of the Heralds Garrett story this morning is that four people knew about Garretts baby identity theft crime. Funny that despite the fact that there was a suppression order 4 people in the party knew about it. So of stuffs up the argument around secrecy and all that really.

Yesterday, an Act source told the Herald that because of the suppression order, Mr Garrett's identity theft charge was a well-kept secret within the party, known until this week by only four senior members.

The source said it was likely the information was leaked this week by one of those four members.

What ever were they thinking?

Its a bridge to far for us.

Garretts toast, Roy is a joke and as for ACTs future ? Its bleak.

Update - it just gets worse.. looks like Garrett has been a stranger to the Truth

WINDOWS ON THE SOUL

So Heather Roy thinks that her mandate lies in the fact that 86 thousand people voted for ACT and she was high on the list so that means they voted for her.. That is a leap over the bridge of wild fancy. She is high on the list because the party put her there and the caucus and the party took away her deputy leadership.So the 86,000 people who voted for ACT did not vote for her. They voted for a party the believes in personal freedom and economic strength.

All this overt posturing that she and Rodney have put all the mucky crap behind them is disingenuous at best and a lie at worst.

She is only coming back to challenge Rodney again, her continued reinforcement of the contents of the 82 page dossier for caucus is a clear sign that there is still "trouble at mill."

Roy and Chris Carter share the same erroneous self belief. That they are really really good and that people really really want them and that they other guy ( Goff, Hide) are the really really bad guys. To the both of them loyalty counts for nothing. They both put themselves above the the parties they are part of. They are the worst type of politician - venal, narcissistic, holier than thou, and with a bent radar for public opinion.

They will also dine on the plates of adoration served up by waiting sycophants. That will continue to feed their bloated egos..

And if you want to see portals to inner madness that is fuelled by narcissism... look at the eyes of both...

We just wish that both would go away. Their time is done.

HEATHER HAS NOTHING TO OFFER

Its a sad thing to see - an inflated ego... but everytime we see Heather Roy all we see is ego.. She tried to stage a coup - she lost. She is of no use to anyone - ( well maybe Simon Ewing Jarvie does...)

She seems to think that because Defence Minister Wayne Mapp wrote her a lovely letter that she must be really good at her job. Wayne Mapp maybe a bit on the stodgy side but he is an utter, utter gentleman.. A truly lovely cuddly bear of a bloke. And of course he wrote her a lovely note -because he probably thought the silly bint wasn't coming back! It would have been in style of a reference letter for future employment post parliament.

But no - she thinks its because she was really good. Reality and her are truly divorced.

Time to make way for someone else - Disloyalty can never be forgotten nor forgiven.

RODNEY IS NOT BACKTRACKING

He has probably got new information and he realises that public sentiment is now shifted from Heather as hero to Heather at zero..

We are still expecting more details...

Heather must realise now that her actions have caused considerable damage to ACT. As we have said before its only right and proper that she resign.

WHALE LIFTS THE LID ON ACT DEBACLE

Well, well, we thought as much.. We have met few people we have loathed as much as Simon Ewing Jarvie.. He is a prize prick and as Whale has now shown - a duplicitious arse with an overblown sense of his own piss and importance.

He doesn't have much cred in Defence circles either..

Heather Roy had aspirations above her station and may well have been seduced by SEJ macho politiks. His fawning will have engorged her ego.

Kiwiblog has, as usual an insightful analysis of the Defence paper and the caucus speech at the heart of the issue.

Rodney has not handled the aftermath of this all that well but as Whales info has shown - he is definitely not the villain of the piece.

Politics is a brutal business. And tough talking, tension and full and frank discussions can be found in all parties. ACT is no different in that regard.

However, we are not sure they can come back from the brink. We hope they can. We like the fact that they put a bit of steel in the economic spine of the country.

BOMB A FIZZER ?

Good - Roy is gone in a clinical display of leadership by Hide. However we tend to agree with John Armstrong. The voters and supporters have a right to know why. Hide should - well, hide nothing.

He needs to be transparent about the reasons for dismembering the party.

And if indeed there was a neutron bomb - one would have expected it to explode by now. Hides refusal to reveal what Roy was sacked for will just continue to fuel speculation that what she did was serious. And the fact that ACT no longer has the Assoc Defence portfolio in itself speaks volumes.. One can only speculate about a lack of trust on the part of National that it has taken the portfolio back inhouse.

We will watch the events of the next few days with a great deal of interest..

EARLY ELECTION?

Well by our calculations there is a 30% chance.

Act have gone into the crisis caucus meeting with both sides claiming to have a neutron bomb that will explode the other faction.

We have been told that there are some sensitive defence docs around and that there is huge angst around who has seen them. Just who has done what is the talk of the town.

We have not seen any documents nor do we want to.

So in the wake of this scandal - the longevity of the party has to be in doubt. If ACT implodes the Maori Party becomes the party of power and indeed that means Hone Harawira could become too powerful for the Nats to stomach.

So an early election? Its possible but not probable.

What is a certainty, is overblown egos will see the downfall of a party that many in National have great affection for - simply because its existence ensures that the Nat's economic agenda is as dry as possible in these centrist, populist, political times.

GARRETT NEEDS TO STOP BEING A WANKER

It appears MP David Garrett has hoof in gob syndrome. We feel bloody sorry for Rodney. This is the sort of distraction he could do without.

Threatening what are essentially public servants from airing their concerns and fears in the correct forum is just plain silly.

Now we are pro private prisons but any MP who puts the fear of god into workers for having a say is just being a bully.

He needs to be tied to a post and Rodney should chuck kinas at him.

FIRST BLOOD

Apparently a press secretary has found the going too tough. Ask ACT for the details. He was a retread.

KEY SHOWS HIS INCLUSIVENESS AGAIN.

Well, this is the first decent political snippet of the year. We had already heard of the general gist of the Key cabinet restructure but this story in the Herald must make Labour wince. For the first time opposition parites will truly be part of the decision making process beign part of the cabinet committees. Well done John and the team. Good start.

Update: And Maori will also be rejoicing in the fact that Key has made Treaty Settlements a priority - according to the Herald this morning. the committee will also look at foreshore and seabed claims

Tino Pai we say!