ROARPRAWN IN ASSAULT

Its true.. Only in Australia

BIGGEST HOAX OF THE DECADE?

Well apparently the tide is turning , people are starting to get more sceptical as more absurd claims are made about the impending doom we face as the planet does or does not get a bit toasty.

So it is with great delight that we find that The Australian columnist Janet Albrechtsen sounds a sensible word of caution about the growing hysteria and stunts...

Supposed "facts" like this:

" Scientists scolded us with a report that a 750ml bottle of bubbly could produce 100 million bubbles, releasing five litres of carbon dioxide."

Errr yea - so what about beer? And anyway who cares.... its fluffy inconsequential stuff.

But its the stunts and the lies that Albrechtsen really takes issue with.

Just like the small island nation of Maldives where, last month, the president conducted a cabinet meeting underwater to remind the world that his country would be rendered uninhabitable by rising sea levels. Kitted out in full scuba-diving outfits, Mohamed Nasheed and his ministers sat at a table underwater off the coast of the capital of Male.

As planned, the president’s stunt made headlines across the globe. Send us money - and lots of it - is his message. The media love stunts. They are so easy to report.

Sadly, the media is not inquisitive enough to report those who question the circus acts of climate change. A week after the Maldives underwater show, Nils-Axel Morner - a leading world authority on sea levels - wrote an open letter to the president telling him that his stunt was “not founded in observational facts and true scientific judgments”.

Morner is a former professor who headed the department of paleogeophysics and geodynamics at Stockholm University and past president (1999-2003) of the International Union for Quaternary Research commission on sea level changes and coastal evolution. INQUA was founded in 1928 by scientists who aimed to improve the understanding of environmental change during the glacial ages through interdisciplinary research. In other words, the Swedish professor has gravitas when it comes to sea levels.

Alas his letter did not make headlines. That is a shame. Morner says there is “no rational basis” for the hysterical claims that the people of Maldives - or the rest of the world - are threatened by rising sea levels. And he sets out some facts.

Fact number 1: During the past 2000 years, sea levels have fluctuated with 5 peaks reaching 0.6m to 1.2m above present sea level. Fact number 2: From 1790 to 1970 sea levels were about 20cm higher than today. Fact number 3: In the 1970s, the sea level fell by about 20cm to its present level. Fact number 4: Sea levels have remained constant for the past 30 years “implying that there are no traces of any alarming ongoing sea level rise”. Fact number 5 (and I am paraphrasing here): The notion presented by the President of the Maldives that his country will be flooded is bunkum.

We prefer to call it bullshit... Even if it does warm up the globe a bit....

And for a fragile economy like ours we dont want to see the decision makers put the probable fiction of climate change ahead of the definite imperative to keep our economy safe..

BITS AND BOBS

We have been enjoying some wild and wicked weather in Tauranga where the Aussie Rock has a bit of a bach near the beach at the Mount.

When it was fine it was splendid but the torrential rain out did the sunbeams today. For all that Tauranga and the Mount are wonderful places to visit.

We are now back in Wellington and are off to Zico's with Spaz and his angel wife.

So we have had a quick scoot round the blogs and MacDoctor has the funniest post on Sue Bradfords departure from the Greens. We agree with his sentiments entirely.

And the Australian is breathless in their admiration for Key's decision to appear on Letterman. We initially thought it was dumb. But as someone who has lived in the USA pointed out, Key's self effacing corniness would have gone down a treat there. Its their sort of humour. However we also agree with Fran O'Sullivan - we cannot lose sight of the serious stuff either. Perhaps an armchair interview on Close Up, or even the Sunday programme to talk about the serious stuff and why it matters to New Zealanders. It would be good to give it some context that a quick flick on the 6pm news cant give.


And are we the only person who is going to fess up and say they dont understand what the hell John Key's comments about having the loosest slot machines really means?

NZ guzumped by Aussie on World stage

Our boy is off to the US of A for a some serious discussions on matters of great importance to our nation.

While it is clear that Kevin Rudd is seeing his trip as a chance to promote Aussie as the must stop on the investment train, Key's trip has a wider focus. In fact it seems to have many foci. We have him on Letterman, at the behest of the Tourism Board, which is a very risky move,due to the piss taking nature of the programme. But the exposure is gold.

Then the focus for Key is very much on diplomatic relations with a raft of smaller countries Turkey, the Netherlands, Israel, Chile, Norway and Rwanda. And he is also going to have a hui with Helen about matters of Aid.

Now this is all good stuff but it contrasts with Australia and Rudd who is clearly on a focussed mission to get big dollars down under. He wants Australia to be a lightening rod for international investors.

We as a nation have always spurned other peoples money as somehow being something that is not good. Aussie on the other hand embraces it.

While Key’s programme in USA is interesting its all about being best friends with a whole heap of nations looking for best friends. Rudd on the other hand, is opening the door to investors to help his country build on its already impressive financial position.

We don’t get many opportunities in this environment and seriously folks – Keys agenda looks a bit lightweight and doesn’t look like we are serious about doing the stuff that will help grow the economy.

We really only need to look across the Tasman to see how it should be done.

KEYS ECONOMIC APPROACH BEING WATCHED IN OZ

John Key and Rudd appear to get on pretty well - there is an air of the sophisticated geek about both of them. However their differences in style and approach to the global financial downturn are significant.

The Australian takes a look a the differences here

We particularly like this bit - Key makes it clear that the government cant provide all the solutions.

New Zealand benefited from "huge reforms, leaving it as a small, open, flexible economy, driven by Roger Douglas" -- the Labour finance minister in the late 1980s, recently returned to parliament as an ACT Party MP -- "but I am not claiming to be another Roger Douglas".

He said: "We just don't need that level of reforms, because the economy is quite open. But we can free up the process" of reform, which had stagnated. This will include a greater involvement by the private sector, as in a jobs summit Key held recently.

He is reintroducing greater flexibility to the labour markets, he said -- for instance, through a proposal for a 90-day probationary period for new employees.

"And we're not afraid to use the private sector in the provision of health and education services. The success of the nation doesn't rise or fall on the efforts of government alone. The strength of our country is that of our 4.3million people."

Yip we agree - All for one and one for all.

CHINA TO EYE UP NZ?

Well they are certainly casting a glance across the Tasman. There are fears that the Chinese are going to increasing buy up mining stocks. According to the Australian some commentators are worried that not enough thinking is going into the ramifications of a big Chinese buy up.

We will also be in their sights. China is well aware of NZ's stable politics, easy business environment and high quality image so we should expect them to make some strategic purchases here as well.

Forestry, fishing, dairying, and infrastructure are likely to attract.

FIJI RELAXING MEDIA BAN?

It looks like it, according to the Australian but we suspect it will only be for tame journalists.

And interestingly some of the Fijian Blogs are not loading sometimes - so we wonder if they are being censored.

But boy are they staying staunch, as this story by James Ihaka in The Herald points out.

RUDD FOLLOWS KEY

Now there was a bit of talk a few weeks back of Key stealing ideas from Rudd.

However today our Aussie mates have borrowed one of our best ideas and called it their own.

They have largely replicated Steven Joyces forward thinking broadband proposal

Good Stuff

JOHN KEY GETS MORE INTERNATIONAL PLAUDITS

The Australian has a great column on the business nous of three world leaders - John Key, Kevin Rudd and Obama. She reckons Key has got it sorted. she even thinks that he should have a place at the hallowed table of G20.

She has picked up on the factthat Key is the only one who understands commercial realities because he is the only one of the three who has any real business experience.

Heres an excerpt from Jane Albrechtsen.

Key, on the other hand, understands what is needed to make businesses hum: lower taxes, smarter regulation and a flexible labour market. He has recognised that a one-off sugar hit - or cash splash - won’t help business employ people for any longer than it takes to spend the cash. Permanent tax cuts help business employ more staff - permanently.

He told The Wall Street Journal’s Mary Kissel a few weeks back that he is determined to stop the slide that has seen NZ fall to the bottom half on the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development’s per-capita gross domestic product rankings. “We have been on a slippery slope ... so we need to lift those per capita wages, and the only way to really do that is through productivity growth driving efficiency in the country.” Key is cutting taxes, reforming regulations that inhibited foreign capital and tackling environmental legislation that has been misused by green groups to stop private sector investment. Oh, and he is undertaking a line-by-line review of every government department as part of his Government’s commitment to capping spending.

No wonder Key is the odd man out. And it is a shame that NZ will not be attending the G20 meeting in London next month, the latest effort by world leaders to confront the global financial crisis. Spend big and all will be in order is Obama’s resounding theme. It’s all stimulus this and stimulus that. Is it too much to hope that G stands for growth, not group-think?

We agree - they only problem is that its going to take a year or two to see who was right. Key, Rudd or Obama. Our money is still on Key.

A BLOODY GOOD IDEA - FROM THE BANKS

A mortage holiday of up to a year if you are made redundant. Thats what theCommonwealth Bank in Aussie is planning - the bank is headed by Ralph Norris.

With CBA itself predicting last month that the jobless rate could blow out from its current level of 5.2 per cent to a peak of 7 per cent late next year, Mr Norris said that it was not in the bank's interest to see people "get into trouble".

"In the case of those unfortunate to be unemployed, we will provide repayment holidays for six months, and in some circumstances up to 12 months, with interest being capitalised," he said. Mortgage holders will ultimately have to pay the deferred payments, plus interest.

Mr Norris added that he could not rule out job losses at CBA because of deteriorating economic conditions.

The rest of the story in the Australian here

We think its time for the banks on this side of the Tasman to step up with someone similar.

FOLLOW KEY NOT OBAMA

Yip the most popular PM in decades John Key has made an impact on the World stage.

First in the Wall St Journal and now his thinking and plan for economic stability are lauded in Australia. in the Australian

USA CRISIS - " ECONOMIC PEARL HARBOUR"

US Billionaire Warren Buffet has coined what is arguably the best descriptor for the American economic meltdown.

He sees hope and fortune some interesting places. But he doesn't see things coming right for about 5 years.

Story here in the Australian

NAH SHE WAS PISSED

The Australian reports a woman emailed stuff while she was in a deep sleep.

WOMAN in a deep sleep sent emails to friends asking them over for wine and caviar in what doctors believe is the first reported case of 'zzz-mailing' - using the internet while asleep.

The case of the 44-year-old woman is reported by researchers from the University of Toledo in the latest edition of the medical journal Sleep Medicine.

They said the woman went to bed about 10pm but got up two hours later and walked to her computer in the next room, Britain's Daily Mail newspaper reports.

She turned it on, connected to the internet, and logged on before composing and sending three emails.

Each was in a random mix of upper and lower cases, not well formatted and written in strange language, the researchers said.

One read: "Come tomorrow and sort this hell hole out. Dinner and drinks, 4pm,. Bring wine and caviar only."

Another said simply, "What the…".

The new variation of sleepwalking has been described as "zzz-mailing".

"We believe writing an email after turning the computer on, connecting to the internet and remembering the password displayed by our patient is novel," the researchers said.

"To our knowledge this type of complex behaviour requiring co-ordinated movements has not been reported before in sleepwalking.

"She was shocked when she saw these emails, as she did not recall writing them. She did not have any history of night terrors or sleepwalking as a child."

The neurologists said that unlike simple sleep-walking, the activities their patient was involved in required complex behaviour and co-ordinated movements including typing, composing and writing the messages.

She was also able to remember her password and turn the computer on and connect to the internet, although she had no memory of the event.

It was thought that the woman's sleep-walking may have been triggered by prescription medication, although the causes of the phenomenon are not fully understood.

Bollocks - piss was involved - but we think the story will get some researcher and the woman involved on the minor speaking circuit for a while.

NEW ZEALANDERS PROPPING UP AUSSIE TOURISM INDUSTRY

The Australian is reporting that the number of kiwis shooting over the ditch for a bit of a break increased by 10% last month while there was drop in the number of visitors from other countries.

AUSTRALIA welcomed more than 16,000 fewer international tourists to its shores in October as the effects of the financial crisis begin to bite.

International travellers totalled 451,800 in October 2008, new Australian Bureau of Statistics figures show.

That compared with 468,700 for the same month last year.

The biggest slump was from Japanese tourists, with 12,600 fewer visiting - a drop of 27 per cent.

There were also fewer travellers from the US (4900), China (4900) and Korea (3000).

But 9400 more New Zealanders made the trip - an increase of nine per cent.

The figures also showed a slowing of Aussies holidaying abroad.

Tourism and Transport Forum (TTF) executive director Olivia Wirth said the figures were no surprise, and only illustrated that the global financial crisis was already hitting hard.

She said New Zealand holidaymakers were the "shining light", spurred on by increased flights to Australia.

We here at Roarprawn think its undoubtedly because its the cheapest place to go for an overseas jaunt but the fact that many of us now have family across the Tassy also add to the attraction. And you can't discount the possibility that many people are also going on a look see to work out if they want to live there.

ITS TOUGH AT THE TOP

Kevin Rudd is ripping through his staff as he beds down his newish govt. Ouch.

We are not expecting John Key to do the same. He has a good mix of old campaigners and bright young things amoung his team - And Tories always have a better work ethic than socialists. They work hard and play hard , while lefty lackys say pay us more and we might work a little harder but we will want time in lieu, childcare, a taxi home and a meal allowance.

KIDMAN AND THE MOON

I never thought a man as gracious as Ban Ki Moon would have appreciated the skinny white ass of a vacuous woman with pumped up lips who isn't the best actress in the world but this picture from the Australian would say otherwise. Apparently the porcelain peahen is at the UN delivering a petition calling for an end to violence toward women. Thats a good thing but apparently the movie Australia is not.

BEER GOGGLES ARE REAL

Its true, beer does give you that dewy vision but for the wrong reasons. Seems four or more beers a day will make you go blind. From the Australian

AUSSIES RECKON HELENS TOAST

We like the Australian , and today we really like this headline.

Helen Clark set to be dumped, say polls

Read more here

GOOD NEWS BALI BOMBERS TO BE EXECUTED NEXT MONTH

The Australian has the story on the Bali Bombers - they have exausted all legal avenues and their execution is set down for next month.

That is a a good thing .

SO THE AUSSIE BANKS ARE HELPING FUND THE BANK DEPOSIT GUARANTEE

And they are none too pleased... From the Australian

AUSTRALIAN banks will be hit by a levy that could run into the tens of millions imposed by the New Zealand Government, for participating in its version of the bank deposit guarantee scheme.

The scheme is voluntary, but with the NZ Government-backed Kiwi Bank already opting in, the others have no choice but to do likewise.

The levy will only apply to banks with more than $5 billion in deposits, which just happens to be only the big four Australian banks, and will apply on 10 basis points on “total indebtedness” above that level.

Australian banks contacted this morning were still in talks with the NZ Finance Department to work out exactly how the scheme applies, but were not impressed.