DB or not DB

Readers will be well aware that Roarprawn, and epicurean assistants, cover the food and liquor industries with a diligence which borders of fanaticism!

So it is probably no wonder that we stumbled on this revelation.

It appears that after the highly-publicised demise of the Temperance, quick sale of The Establishment, and the pathetic existence of the Loaded Hog with its skeleton staff and in serious need of some spit and polish, the Wellington empire of the once-mighty Dominion Breweries is staggering.

Apparently management is closely monitoring some 30 outlets. What happens in case of a disaster? Thirty pubs on the market?

Impossible, you may say........ yet thats what happened to the mighty Thwaites, Griffith empire a decade ago.

Readers can be assured your team is closely monitoring events!

Steinlager anyone?

BIG BAD BOYS AND THE LONGEST OF LUNCHES

Well bugger me, Just when when we thought one of the oldest men only lunch clubs in New Zealand had finally folded, its rises like the piss fairy from the bottle of sparkling Aussie shiraz .

Flagstaff, as we have blogged about before is one of the great Wellington institutions. A big boys pissy eyed long lunch with a ripper of a speaker. The membership is august and often international, the tone is definitely low in a high brow sort of way, and stories of big sessions are legend.

Anyway they are back, armed with speedy wheel chairs and zimmer frames, the baddest old bastards in Wellington are going to have a couple more lingering lunches.

Good on them we say . "Hip, hip" or should we say "hick hick" and all that.

FlagstaffNewsflash tina

Publish at Scribd or explore others: Press Releases Business & Legal wine business lunch

BEER WITH ME

We like this idea -According to Stuff some boys are marketing a beer with a label that has the bikini top on the label disappearing as you drink it.
It's based on some soft porn pens you used to get years ago that had the bikinis being rendered invisible when you touched them. Now all this is based around silly school boy titillation. Harmless we reckon but old trouts like us need the trunks off boys like Daniel - that would definitely make us drink their beer.....

SOUTHLAND STUDENTS FULL OF SPUNK

Literally - errkkk . This one is definitely up Cactus's alley. Students on orienteering in Southland drink bull sperm so they can get free beer.... Go figure.

And in fine Southland tradition the students showed they aren't quitters or spitters - they swallowed.

No burnt sperm here

Not bad blokes for sheilas huh.

GOOD BASTARDS ON THE COAST SET TO TAKE ON BREWERY GIANTS

It appears the king of the Good Bastards, Paddy Sweeney may have hit on a liquid formula that will put some steel into the economic backbone of the West Coast.

We love the Good Bastards concept. We come from a big family of good bastards from Southland We are the sort of no bullshit, lend a hand, take no prisoners, bugger the PC stuff people, that being a good bastard is all about.

Anyway back to the story. Paddys having supply problems - he can't supply enough of his brew Green Fern. It seems too many people like it.

Here is his press release.

The Pub with no beer ……
This is worse

West Coast Brewing CEO Paddy Sweeney is tearing his hair out. His brewery has run out of beer.

“We knew we would be close on this but its hit us way sooner than we expected.” He said from Christchurch today.

The West Coast Brewery has run out of Green Fern Certified Organic lager, its flagship beer.

“We have sold all the Green Fern we have produced and won’t have more until the beginning of January” Sweeney said.

“What’s been happening is that Green Fern has been getting more and more popular all year, not only in New Zealand but also in Australia, Taiwan and Hong Kong. It really hits the spot with drinkers and they keep coming back for more.”

“Last year Green Fern was top in its class for Premium Lager at the New Zealand International Beer awards and it signaled a growth path that has all but spiraled out of control.” Sweeney said.

“The fact that it’s organic has some impact but what we have been finding is that people who couldn’t care less about organic beer are driving sales. Pure and simple it is the taste that people love and can’t seem to get enough of it.

To solve the problem two 5000 litre tanks arrived in Westport on Monday, the first of six that will increase the breweries capacity significantly.

A new Chiller to accommodate the six 5000 litre tanks has been ordered and will be in place in January to ensure the problem does not happen again.

It won’t solve the problem permanently but should see us ok through to next spring.” Said Sweeney.

“People taste it and want more and we have bottle shops, restaurants, pubs and five star hotels ringing up for it every week as their customers just keep asking for it and many have never even heard of it” Said Sweeney.

“Its right up the top end with pricing and we don’t do deals. You want it, you have to pay for it, it’s as simple as that. You get a drop as good as this the last thing you want to do is be discounting it. We leave that to the big bad brother overseas owned breweries with their flash named international drops that are full of sugar and chemicals. You won’t get crook on Green Fern like the other drops that dehydrate and shrivel up your internal organs.”

“We never set out to knock them off the arrogant bastards off their perch, but the way this stuff is rocketing out the door, they may well have cause to be worried. Between them they don’t have a beer that can hold a candle to ours when it comes to taste. Said Sweeney.

The company recently completed a $2million capital raising with an extra million in over subscriptions and it is well advanced in getting its second prospectus of $5 million finished and is due for release in March 2009.

“We get enquiries every day via our website from folk putting their names down wanting a copy of our next investment information. This global meltdown might be affecting other industries; however the brewing industry has been proven to be a stalwart for investors. Over the great depression and many recessions brewing shares tend to prosper. Folk either celibate their prosperity or commiserate the tough times. Either way beer is the winner.

After the caning from the fiancé industries investors are much more gun-shy and prudent, and that’s evidenced by the enquiries we are getting for our next prospectus. Sweeney said.

The company went from one employee in March 2007 to now having over 50 on the payroll.

Its latest venture is the first of what is anticipated to be a chain of bottle shops around the country is opening in Christchurch on Monday.

“The chain will have the apt name of “The Thirsty Bloke” and will open in Victoria Street in Christchurch just up from the Casino. It is in an old service station and because of its high visibility, great parking, and on a main road is probably the best site in Christchurch.” Sweeney said.

The companies West Coast Bar and Grill in Papanui in Christchurch continues to trade well and is enjoying increasing turnovers every month as too is The Good Bastards Bar in Woolston Christchurch also continuing to do well with its best week ever two weeks ago.

This week sees the 2008 Bullshitting Championships being held at the Good Bastards Bar and Sweeney promises it will be a hoot.

We we reckon he needs a Thirsty Bloke Bar here in Wellington - problem is its going ot be hard to convince him to sell his beer here. Not to sure if he will want his beer drunk by shiny arsed bastards who aren't necessarily good.

BEER GOGGLES ARE REAL

Its true, beer does give you that dewy vision but for the wrong reasons. Seems four or more beers a day will make you go blind. From the Australian

HAVE A BEER AND TAKE A TRIP TO THE SOUTH

A nice marketing strategy is getting a bit of attention in London
where a Southland team is trying to lure doctors to the south.

Remember, Southland is where the economy just keeps getting better and if you believe in global warming, the weather will get better as well.

Go Southland!

Doctors lured with free beer
Expatriate health professionals are being offered a free beer and a flight home by southern health boards trying to lure them south.
The offer is part of a Return to your Southern Roots gathering at the Speight's Southerner bar in London on October 18.
BB has southern roots.

The Healthdownsouth website says the gathering had been organised in conjunction with their "mates at Speight's" who were offering a free pint to the first 100 expat Kiwi health professionals who confirm their attendance. That side of the promotion was questioned by Southland board member Fiona McArthur at a Hospital Advisory Committee meeting yesterday.
She asked whether it was appropriate for the health board to align itself with the Speight's brewery brand given the Government's announcements regarding healthy lifestyles.
She qualified the statement by saying it was not a criticism and that she was a consumer of the product.
Silly woman ....

Chief medical officer Pim Allen said the offer was not in conflict with the government's position on alcohol consumption.
"The offer that we have made is for one free beer and I think the government advertising is about responsible drinking, not no drinking." The response to the offer had been positive, she said.


The health boards were also offering free flights to Dunedin or Invercargill to those who took up employment before October 31 next year as part of the campaign. Those who took up the offer would be bonded for 12 months.

Thats got to be attractive.
Otago-Southland health boards chief executive Brian Rousseau said a local focus was important when recruiting staff and Speight's was a prominent brand in the southern part of New Zealand. He noted that a paper was being prepared on the ethics of the health sector aligning itself with certain brands, such as McDonald's and Speight's, he said.

Good on them using the best there is
A spokesperson for Lion Nathan, which owns Speight's, could not be contacted for comment yesterday.


A report to the board on the promotion said the event encouraged the audience to consider a return to the south, where they began their studies and careers.


well with the serious probability that John Key is going to be the next Prime Minister, we here at Roarprawn are getting emails from lots of expats seriously considering coming home .