RESOLUTE IN THE NEW YEAR

A few NY resolutions we would like to to hear

Mark Solomon - " It is now time to move on and let someone else take over. "

Michael Laws "I will stop thinking about kinky sex and get a girlfriend who only likes the missionary position and of course me"

Maori leaders " We resolve to start setting some standards. No gang patches on the Marae, and at any tangi. Our mantra will be ' gang tikanga is not Maori tikanga',"

John Key "I promise to be big and ballsy and make the hard calls to grow the economy"

Bill English " The public service will feel the pain of a thousand cuts."

Judith Collins " I will do what I did last year."

Winston Peters " I will stand in Helensville for the good of the nation."

Phil Goff " I will attend every BBQ that 17 members of my caucus are planning to hold over the summer for the sake of party unity."

Cunliffe " I will roll Phil Goff because I know that I have the superior intellect and I am better at being a shifty bastard than he is."

Trevor Mallard " I will work harder at being the most obnoxious Labour blogger because its so much fucking fun."

Clare Curran " I resolve to give the world peace and love and text Helen clark every night to tell her what a wonderful job I am doing and how popular I am especially with my own caucus."

Paul Henry " I will be a bigger star than I was - take that all you dick shits"

The Brunette " We will continue to take the piss and be obnoxious, talk about sex and country living and generally make lots of noise and swear a lot.

Cactus Kate " Shag more, Drink more, and write good shit, and make squillions while travelling the world in style. "

MICHAEL LAWS IS AN ARSEWIPE

Jackie Sperling is a facebook mate. Never met her but she contacted me when Michael Laws decided to launch a pre-emptive strike against her when he thought she was going to do a tell all over a brief but intense relationship he had with her.

We blogged about it , and initially we weren't on her side. However, we have been in her corner now for some time. In fact we have grown to admire her pluck, courage and wit.

She has a condition even we have suffered from - bastarditis or more commonly known as the Bastard Factor.

Its a tough one to cure but its the chronic attraction to shit men.

Jackie an intelligent, funny thoughtful women who fell headfirst into a pit of despair. She crawled out - owned up - was convicted , found god along the way and is well on track to getting her life sorted.

Then she came to the attention of Laws. Enter the Bastard factor.

Laws wanted Jackie and other relationships, he obviously thought she would be happy to be his bit on the side - When it looked like the story of their relationship looked like surfacing in the media he tried to downplay it.

Sperling has now decided to tell her side of the story and it pretty clear that Laws has a fetish for prostitutes.

Nothing hugely wrong with that, we support decriminalised prostitution.

But its clear from the evidence, Jackie is also a meticulous record keeper, that the narcissistic Laws is really not capable of loving anyone but himself.

She is a good woman. And she will be a better woman than many for spending some time in that pit of dispair and finding her way out. Its just sad that the first bloke she saw when she sat at the top of the pit was Laws.

He is a sad sorry arsed little man. And to borrow a great line from Tim Shadbolt, how can you respect a man who wants to beat up on the gangs and criminals, and beats up on politicians but gets beaten up by his wife?

He is a sad, sick, sorry bastard.

As for Jackie. Well she will be just fine.

LAWS GETS THUMPED

The anatomy of any high profile relationship is always interesting.

Todays offering is Michael Laws and his body building missus.

He is an emotionally controlling intolerant perfectionist - She wacked him.

They deserved each other . Period. Not the Maori - you cant take a look see at some old patu period but the end of story type period.

BLOWING HOT AND COLD WITH AIR NEW ZEALAND

This is a funny, topical, edgy, pisstake, and very very timely in the wake of the Paul Henry debacle.

We see that Michael Laws is now apologising for calling the Gov General a fat bugger.. Well he is.

So are we. So what.


And Air New Zealand - do you dare apologise!

LAWS LIKES THEM LEAN AND SWARTHY

So what to make of the Laws - Sperling relationship this morning.. Seems it was a private matter that some of Laws enemies tried to make public..

All a bit "so what" really. And it had its genesis on Facebook. Shows the power and the pain of that new conversation medium .

There is one curious aspect of this though.. There is more than a passing resemblance between the former Mrs Laws Leonie Brookhammer and Jackie Sperling.

Jackie has a statement on her blog which is here and we will put up in full.

Personal statement from Jacqueline Sperling

I am writing this statement to outline the circumstances behind the stories of the past 24 hours relating to my relationship with Michael Laws.

I can confirm that Michael and I met twice as a result of a non romantic discussion upon drug prohibition and addict treatment. I had a unique perspective given a past addiction and my subsequent recovery. I have been very open about the depredations that P addiction causes, and the need to affirm each day as a path to a clean and contributory life.

Neither of us expected to establish the brief relationship we did.

Obviously I took an interest in Michael’s career and entered numerous Facebook discussions relating to his activities.

As a consequence I was introduced to a group of people who loathed Michael and were quite happy to criticise him at every opportunity. Naturally, I defended him on occasion.

As a result, certain people contacted me with information relating to Michael’s private life. This information suggested that Michael had not been completely honest with me. Such was the volume of information, I came to believe some of it and ended all association with him.

I have since discovered that most of this information is false and clearly had malicious intent.

I actually repeated some of these rumours on my Facebook page out of anger. I did not properly appreciate that a Facebook posting is essentially a public posting, rather than just to the friends you are intending to send the message to.

It was lifted from my FB page by certain people and given a twist to directly criticise Michael and some other innocent people. I apologise for providing that opportunity.

As I understand some people reinterpreted what I wrote to suggest some future revenge on my part – the release of private text and e-mails between Michael and myself. I have now examined them and there is nothing particularly salacious in the texts I still have. Yes, some were intimate but they don’t really qualify as “sex-texts”.

I want to make it plain that I have never, and will never, release private correspondence with anyone into the public arena.

As far as I am concerned, this issue is now over although I understand that legal action is being considered by another party.

I will not be making any further comment than is contained in this statement.



Saturday 14 August 2010

HAS MICHAEL LAWS APOLOGISED TO CYBER FLAME?

This is the latest from Jackie Sperling on Facebook. It seems that Laws has seriously stuffed up...

Jacqueline Sperling I have tonight, received an apology from Michael for thinking that i had leaked anything to any media organisation. He was told by someone that i had.

The HOS story, will be interesting...if there even is one.

13 hours ago · · 1 person

• Jacqueline Sperling

  And yes Melanie...i had temporarily lost my marbles. No offence at all taken to your comments. They make perfect sense to me.
  
  No matter what my feelings are regarding the man now, i will never share private conversations with the media.
  
  That is not the example that i want to set for my daughters, and that is my only priority in life right now...
  
  I wish him well.

  13 hours ago ·
• 

  Jacqueline Sperling

  LOL Erika...i had a good old bawling my eyes out session earlier tonight then i thought...stuff this, i am going to make a joke of it...changed my status to "no more paparazzi please" and put the paparrazzi photo on my profile.
  
  Ahhh if only i looked like Dita Von tise or whatever her name is!

  13 hours ago ·

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Jacqueline Sperling

  I think people...we may get to hear our first public apology from the man himself today! I am very grateful to him right now, that he has admitted that i do not deserve this and is going to clear my name, as much as it can be cleared.
  
  He doe...sn't have to do that for me. He has gone to great lengths overnight / this morning to fix this. He could just ignore how this is affecting mine and my children's life...but he isn't.
  
  I have respect for him again now...and i think others should too. Him and i have both been victims of a smear campaign against him. Wanganui politics are nasty.

  4 hours ago · · 2 people

  
  

  Jacqueline Sperling

  Thank you Wayne. I am being strong and i don't worry about labels. Labels are for the ignorant. I have never and will never have secrets in my life. I am very open about my past. I am proud of the changes that i have made to my life, and rather than living in shame, i would prefer to be outspoken about my mistakes and be proof that we can be the change that we want to see in our lives...and in the world.
  
  The day i left that world...i promised myself i would never do shame again. People who judge or label, better pray that they never find themselves in a situation like the one that i was in that led to the terrible choices that i made.
  
  I would rather be an example for anyone who is stuck in that kind of lifestyle right now...that it IS possible to get out, and change your life, and be happy again. There is such thing as HOPELESS.
  
  Had i seen an example of someone like myself who had successfully recovered from a place that low...while i was down there...i may have made the effort to change earlier. For so long i felt like i was too far gone down a dark road to ever get back to normal..and i want to send a message to people that there is ALWAYS a U TURN option.
  
  It was a conversation like this one, that led to Michael and i meeting in the first place...nothing more.
  
  Erika...i am going to use my 15 minutes wisely and try to spread the message of hope for anyone that is addicted to methamphetamine or stuck in that kind of lifestyle...
  
  THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE!

  about an hour ago · · 1 person

  
  

  Jacqueline Sperling

  People do not realise just how insidious methamphetamine is and how it is destroying so many lives here in NZ...if you don't think that it could ever touch your life...then you are foolish.
  
  It is literally everywhere...and people that you would not even believe are addicted to it. Teachers, doctors, laywers, housewives...the local business owner who's wife has no idea. It is everywhere.

  17 min

LAWS UNTO HIMSELF

We were wondering what all the hullabloo was about Laws making some sort of pre-emptive confession over a few raunchy txts with an unknown woman..

It appears that she may have outed herself..courtesy of Facebook

She has had an interesting past

She also has a Blog here...

Jacqueline Sperling

If any of his smut has been leaked to the media then he leaked it himself. I have not shared one tiny little bit of the correspondence that him and i had with anyone...and i never would have,

He has lied to the media about the nature of the relationship, and about me to the media. I just wanted it over when it was brought to my attention that i was one of a number of women that he is having a relationship with at the moment. I just wanted him to go away. That is still all i want. Now i have the media ringing me ...and all this to take the heat of his relationship with someone else.

He uses the media to bully people. The media let him...and while he is throwing me to the wolves they are missing the real story.

Now what do i say to them? What is the right thing to do?

2 hours ago ·

Jacqueline Sperling

The truth is no texts wer leaked. No matter how nasty he got with me i never would have shared private correspondence with anyone and for him to go to the media and say otherwise is evil, sneaky, and even more dishonest that i gave him credit for.

He either genuinely fell for a bluff and tried to do damage control before it was required...or he has leaked them himself to suit his own agenda.

I have nothing to be ashamed of. I just want him to leave me alone...

• .
• • 

    Jacqueline Sperling I think HE thinks people care. Its that whole ego thing that he has going on.

    2 hours ago · · 1 person
  • 
  • e
  • 

    Jacqueline Sperling

    If any of his smut has been leaked to the media then he leaked it himself. I have not shared one tiny little bit of the correspondence that him and i had with anyone...and i never would have,
    
    He has lied to the media about the nature of the relationship, and about me to the media. I just wanted it over when it was brought to my attention that i was one of a number of women that he is having a relationship with at the moment. I just wanted him to go away. That is still all i want. Now i have the media ringing me ...and all this to take the heat of his relationship with someone else.
    
    He uses the media to bully people. The media let him...and while he is throwing me to the wolves they are missing the real story.
    
    Now what do i say to them? What is the right thing to do?

    2 hours ago ·
  • 
  • 
    
  • 

    
    
    Jacqueline Sperling

    The truth is no texts wer leaked. No matter how nasty he got with me i never would have shared private correspondence with anyone and for him to go to the media and say otherwise is evil, sneaky, and even more dishonest that i gave him credit for.
    
    He either genuinely fell for a bluff and tried to do damage control before it was required...or he has leaked them himself to suit his own agenda.
    
    I have nothing to be ashamed of. I just want him to lea

WILLIAMSON SHOWS WISDOM OF JOB

Well done Maurice. He has shown the wisdom of the biblical Job .The Whanganui debate is settled and everyone is happy. That is an extraordinarily difficult thing to do with such a highly charged political issue.

Excellent -

BLOG ROUND UP

We were the lone voice among the VWRC when the petulant Michael Laws gave a lovely bunch of kids some stick for getting crappy about the spelling of Whanganui. Today however, Adam over at Inquiring Mind has an elegant take down of the dick head Joris de Bres who decided to give the kids concerned a certificate. While we still say that Laws handled the whole affair badly, De Bres has again shown he is a dork. So Adam gets top points for his take down.

Kiwiblog is afraid, that his honest and spot on analysis of Key in very public forums may not endear him to the PM.


Alf Grumble covers the most important event of the week.

And the doom merchants over at Red Alert blather on about the Bridgestone closure

LAWS IS A BIG WANGA

Laws has cemented his place as one of the most venal swinging dicks in NZ. He reckons the decision of the Geographic Board is racist...

Its about a spelling mistake!!!! Thats it. Spelt Wanganui it means nothing - unless you take a little bit of English slang Wanga ( wanger aka dick) and a little bit of Maori - Nui which means big and you have big dick.

Thats all Laws is - a really big dick.......

HEY HEY H IS HIP.

We have been following the issue of Michael Laws and his battle to keep the H out of his city Whanganui.

He got all pissy at a bunch of cool kids from a very good kura kaupapa in Otaki. We hope that today they pop the tops off some fizzy.

The geographic board decision is actually a pragmatic one. And as a national body it was an important decision and one children who are bi lingual , who study their language should be interested in.

So stick that up your pretentious little arse Laws.

H rules.

A MAORI VIEW

One of our wise Maori friends has been watching the Laws issue closely and he raises some points I think need airing.

I think Laws may not have had a very good interpretation of the letter. Yes, it seems very blunt. But, to a speaker of Maori it wouldn’t. He has reacted in his usual petulant way. Now that there has been a kick back he’s trying to sugar coat it. He has reinforced the perception that he can dish it out but he can’t take it – which is the worst form of cowardice.

The arguments about children’s anger are spurious. They are 10-12 year old children for goodness sake.

The arguments about them being put up by their teachers and that this is just another example of kids at kura being politicized is an attempt to move the goal posts.

He is supposed to be a leader – of both adults and children.

Perhaps he needs to be asked what he, as a leader of a community with a high Maori population, is doing about the issues he says the children should be turning their attention to. I don’t see anything, so is this a case of do as I say, not do as I do?

CRAP PARENTING IS A CRIME

We think this is the story of the day. If you are a good parent then you can get on with your life and be all the things your children need to be but if you are slack, useless and come to the attention of the courts for not looking after your children then you feel the full force of the law.

We like Kevin Phillips.. He is a very good judge. And like his moniker says - he can judge and he has judged this woman an aberrant parent. He views her lack of parenting as a crime. He is employing his own brand of name and shame.

Well done Kevin. More judges like this please.

SHE WHO KNOWS BEST SAYS LAWS IS A JERK.

We consulted the wise one, MUM. She declared LAWS is a Jerk and they kids from the Kura who appeared on Close Up were great. So as the pakeha daughter of a Scottish plumber for Southland, we reckon that she is the final arbiter of who is right and wrong in this sorry saga.

For the record the old man thinks the kids were great. But he likes Michael Laws. He also liked Winston. We are expecting a power of attorney will need to be arranged soon.

Poor mum....

TRANSLATION

Here is a translation of one of the key letters that so irked Laws. And like all translations it loses a bit in the process.

Evidently he is now offering to meet with the letter writers and have a cup of tea and a chat.

We hope he has a good long lie down before he does.

This is Ngrui writing to you.

I go to Otaki School and I am in the Te Korowai Whakamana whanau (class).

I am writing to you about changing the spelling of Wanganui to Whanganui.

I am really angry with you because there is no reason not to make the change. The only reason you have

against the change is the cost. Money!

In my view, the change should be made. If that's what the people of Whanganui want - change it! Its

their land, they are the people of the land. The Treaty of Waitangi states that all taonga in Aotearoa must

be protected

There is authority and meaning in the name Whanganui. Whanga - means harbour and nui means big.

Thus, 'big harbour'. What is the meaning of 'wanga'?

So, the challenge has been made - respond!

WE ARE SORRY.

To the Tamariki of Te Kura Tuatahi O Otaki.

We am writing to you on behalf of all the good New Zealanders we know, who are dismayed and ashamed at Michael Laws response to your letter expressing concern about his position over the spelling of Whanganui.

Now, the issue for us is not about the spelling of the town, there are vigorous arguments on both sides.

No, we are ashamed that Laws has chosen to attack you rather than seeking to inform you of the reasons for his position. He has acted not like a Mayor but a petulant child.

We are so proud of you. Proud, that as young men and women you have the passion and the courage, the intellect and the skills to write to Mr Laws telling him how you feel in te Reo Māori.

We know that it is that sort of passion and the courage to stand up and say what you think is wrong that will make you leaders of tomorrow.

We know that you will be feeling angry at Mr Laws, but don’t.

You will meet many people like him in the course of your lives. They seek high office because they are fundamentally narcissistic. (There’s a word that is worthy of some study).

He cares not for people but just the sound and impact of his words. It is where he draws his strength and his income. He is like a shallow dirty little puddle.

You, however are the deep rivers of thought and power that will change our nation.

You are not and will never be like him. You are speaking from the heart. You have thought the issue through with your sharp young minds and wrote your feelings and argument well.

Stand tall and be proud, always question, never be afraid of the barbs of the sad and fatuous little men like Michael Laws. He is to be pitied. He is a failed politician of the past.

You are our future.