NEW ZEALAND HAS LOST ITS FUNNY BONER

Bummer.

We can understand that the storm of international outrage over Paul Henry seemed so intense that there really was no option but for Paul Henry to either step aside or be sacked. That he resigned shows one of two things - that TVNZ finally got its shit together and stitched up a deal with Henry that included his resignation - leaving him looking magnanimous and contrite and ensuing the finger of blame flicked past Rick Ellis. The second is that Henry did it off his own bat sensing that TVNZ was going to axe him come Monday. That makes TVNZ look like a pack of wallies with no balls.

What would we have done if we were Rick Ellis? Toughed it out for another week. The media loves feeding off a good scandal but it will gorge itself when the dish of the day is one of their own.

The whole issue was maturing worldwide - we watched one broadcast where high placed Indian commentators reckoned that theirs was a far more racist country both internally and externally and that the Henry comments were nothing to get their turbans in a tangle over. Remember they still have a caste system over there.

People were starting to see sense on the issue. After the initial heat of the polarising debate more mature commentary would have dominated.

Sure Henry deserved some punishment and we thought a couple of weeks off air was about right.He was being a bit of a dickhead. But as we have said before, being a dickhead is part of his charm.

And despite the two top infotainment ringmasters, Sainsbury and Campbell, who both have a vested interest in seeing Henry gone, trying very hard to create programmes designed to put the nail in his broadcasting coffin, they failed. Simultaneous polls on both Close Up and Campbell Live clearly showed overwhelming support for Henry.

Why do they have a vested interest? Well Sainsbury is good but not as good as Henry or even Hoskings and getting one rival out of the road cements his position . Replacing Sainsbury was one of the industry's most talked about issues.

And of Campbell? For him its a ratings game. Chewing Henry up was always going to be a winner. Funnily though, the poll he ran indicated that there was probably more support for Henry as a broadcaster than Campbell could ever dream of. That would have been a kick in the arse for the pompous prick.

So we hope that Henry is not lost to NZ broadcasting. He is funny, erudite and surprisingly wise.

TV3 has a real chance to pick him up and boost their ratings - replace the sanctimonious Campbell and watch the viewers flock in.

And TVNZ should replace Sainsbury with the thinking journalists presenter and interviewer - Hoskings.

Clean broom and all that.

And the message for New Zealand? We are fasting becoming a nation of sanctimonious finger pointing, arse licking wankers. Shit, maybe we are British at our core after all.

UPDATE :

oh and a nice shot found by Cactus of that irredeemable racist Paul Henry..

TREE TOP TEGELS

We watched Close Up tonight with some interest. Roger Beattie has embarked on a campaign to change the way we think about endangered species. He wants commercial interests to be able to farm them. We have long thought that this was a great idea. Kangaroo and Crocs are farmed and harvested in Aussie and while to outsiders it might seem funny to eat a national emblem it ensures that the species is in good heart.

It was hilarious to see Beattie go head to heads with DOC's Al Morrison. It was very clear that Morrison is not that open to new ideas and was uncomfortable when Beattie proffered the notion that DOC has a vested interest in ensuring species stay rare.

Anyway the results of the Close Up poll - Do you think endangered species should be farmed?

Obviously the result caught Mark Sainsbury by surprise. 85% of respondents are all for farming endangered species. Its time that the government took a look at the opportunities that Beattie is offering and the tasty weka is definitely the species to start with.

Based on our historical family information- the tastiness of our " endangered species " goes like this :

Kiwi - yuck. - stringy and oddly unpleasant.
Weka - yum.
Kereru - very yum
Kaka - the very essence of an avian culinary orgasm.

SHE WHO KNOWS BEST SAYS LAWS IS A JERK.

We consulted the wise one, MUM. She declared LAWS is a Jerk and they kids from the Kura who appeared on Close Up were great. So as the pakeha daughter of a Scottish plumber for Southland, we reckon that she is the final arbiter of who is right and wrong in this sorry saga.

For the record the old man thinks the kids were great. But he likes Michael Laws. He also liked Winston. We are expecting a power of attorney will need to be arranged soon.

Poor mum....

KIDSCAN - SHOULD BE CANNED.

We have just watched Close Up do a number on KidsCan - the Telethon Charity .

Its worth a watch. We are still convinced that:

• No real needs assessment has been done. So we don't really know if 10,000 kids need shoes. And how many need raincoats that make them billboards for the All Blacks.
• There is still no real transparency.
• It still looks like a marketing campaign dressed up as a charity.

This is the statement that Kidscan have just released and it appears the government is also giving them some more money as well to distribute food to poor kids.

KidsCan has today responded to inaccurate commentary about the proceeds of the Big Night In Telethon on TV3 that raised around $2million to support Kiwi kids in need through the KidsCan Food for Kids, Raincoats for Kids, Shoes for Kids and StandTall programmes.

KidsCan will provide a full analysis of the money received from the Big Night In Telethon, the costs and how the proceeds will be used, as soon as possible. As you will appreciate, it will take a few weeks to work through all the financials before KidsCan is in a position to provide full and complete financial accounts.

The team at KidsCan has worked extremely hard through sponsorship negotiations to ensure that the costs of running the Big Night In Telethon were kept to an absolute minimum.

Some of the recent commentary relates to historic KidsCan accounts that were filled with the Charities Commission as is required. The Board of KidsCan wishes to provide some context and clarification.

At first sight the conclusions that some have drawn from these accounts may seem the end of the story. That may be true for some charities that simply raise money from the public, the Government or from corporate supporters and then pass that money over to other organisations to spend.

KidsCan is very different. KidsCan also delivers the various programmes and of course that requires people to do the work - and that requires funding for salaries which are determined using external advice.

KidsCan is thrilled to now see the Government recognising the importance of the KidsCan programmes by this week announcing monetary support. It does though need to be noted that this is the first Government support that KidsCan has received since being established four years ago.

All of the Government funding will go directly into the food programme as has been agreed with the Prime Minister.

Many charities in New Zealand have Government support and that obviously reduces fund-raising costs significantly. Raising funds in the current environment is extremely hard work and there are some costs associated with doing this.

That is why KidsCan wants to say another huge thank you to all the sponsors and supporters who funded almost all of the costs of putting on the Big Night In Telethon. And of course the generosity of Kiwis during the Big Night In Telethon was just amazing.

But - the single most important factor, that a simplistic focus on financial accounts misses is that KidsCan receives massive in-kind and non-cash support which it cannot account for under current charities and accounting standards law in New Zealand.

If KidsCan could (and this has been discussed with the Charities Commission) then, in fact, the proportion of total contributions to KidsCan programmes [including both in-cash and in-kind support] would have been around 60% last year.

These in-kind and non-cash donations include food, professional services, storage and transport to name but a few. If these in-kind and non-cash donations were not made, KidsCan would need to find more cash donations to pay these costs. These in-kind and non-cash donations amounted to around $760,000 in 2008.

It is also important to appreciate that a large proportion of our operational costs [including staff salaries to deliver the programmes] are met by philanthropic or charitable trust grants, not from public donations. These grants must be used for the purpose for which they were applied - for example, salaries and wages and office costs.

Our projections over the next 2-3 years indicate closer to 80% of contributions going directly into KidsCan programmes. KidsCan will be making all those figures public.

I trust that this information provides context and clarity and the Board and management of KidsCan again thanks New Zealanders for their support for the Big Night In Telethon and also the many volunteers who made this such a success.

Rick Shera Chairman KidsCan StandTall Charitable Trust

We think that this just raises way more questions than it answers.Why did the government pick this charity to give money to?

LITTLE GIRLS SHOULD BE SEEN AND NOT HEARD

We were delighted to read Keys great put down of Keisha Castle - Hughes to " stick to acting"

Finally someone who has the guts to tell people whose only attributes are based on their impersonation skills, that they are not authorities on weighty matters of state.
Now Keisha, bless her little cotton undies, seems to be a lovely girl who cares for the planet and that is a good thing but that does not give her the right to ponce around like some understudy diva and demand an audience with the Prime Minister.

She needs to learn some manners and humility and spend some time doing some serious analysis of all the facts. Then she will realise that what she is proposing makes her look like a complete airhead.

And we note that Sainsbury has her as a guest on Close Up tonight. We will watch and take the piss...

UPDATE - we just watched and winced .

Lordy - she is sweet, she is a loving mum, she can act but she will never ever be a rocket scientist. And if she expelled less hot air she would do the planet a real favour.

ITS STILL ALL ABOUT VEITCH

We had a mild amount of sympathy for Tony Veitch. He waited too long for a trial, his ex was definitely a paua, he had no other history of domestic or other violence. It started to drain away as in every interview we watched, the pint sized broadcaster didn't look all that contrite. It was still all about him and the effect it had on his life.

But then we watched Close Up and we lost every smidgen of sympathy and respect we had left for him. He showed a very dirty vindictive streak. So, yes he waited too long for justice , yes it is hard for " famous people to have a " normal " life but shit you do not under any circumstances after saying that you did not hate the victim and wished her well - then launch into this tirade .

Meanwhile, on TV ONE's Close Up, Veitch was asked about speculation that his legal team had "some dirt on her" that led to the plea bargain.

Veitch replied: "I did some investigating ... I went and I dug and I went through records and I went through discovery and do you know what? I had a good time and I found stuff. So you are talking about dirt, (I am talking about) evidence."

Sorry Veitchy, humility, and a face that really looks like it means sorry would have been good. Instead with that one statement, you showed you were a nasty vindictive little prick.

Seems that Cactus is also of the same opinion