TIDDY DAY

Ohh I so need one of these ... A Tiddy bear... When you sport a pair of 18 DD Norks and you are a bit on the short side - seat belts are the bane of your existence..

In fact I want two - one for my handbag as well... and one for the Air New Zealand seatbelt. maybe that one could be called a twaddy bear.

FILL YA CUPS

Hell, just when we decide to downsize - along comes an offer that we would find hard to refuse. A bar in Singapore allocates drinks to women according to cup size. We would get seriously sloshed in short order.

The free drink nights have strict rules: There are two judges, one of each gender, who visually determine each woman's cup size. A women with an A cup receives one free drink, a B cup gets two, a C cup slurps down three, those lucky enough to have a D cup walk away with a free bottle of vodka.

So by our reckoning , based on our bountiful bosum , we would get a couple of bottles of free vodka while poor old - currant buns Cactus would only get a small free drink.

We think its a great gimmick.

Singapore anyone?

TARGET SHOULD DO AN INVESTIGATION INTO BRA WIRES

We know we have done a few posts on bras, but after 2300 km of driving in Australia - much over rutted dirt roads, in a V6 Commodore with low profile tyres - we have given our bras a serious work out. And our latest black lacy 18dd is now stuffed.

We are pretty sure that the underwire is made from recycled skodas. These days our underwire bras last about 4 months then either it busts (sorry about the pun) or gets really bent out of shape. One wire recently gave up the good fight in a meeting and the sound of the snap was loud enough to be heard by the others in the room . It was a long moment. We coughed loudly and scraped our chair but one other big breasted chick in the room - gave me a knowing wink. I fessed up and everyone was deeply sympathetic.

Anyway, I reckon that this is one for the consumer champions, Target to investigate. - Put some underwire bras under some stress tests and see which brands come up trumps.

We and our two best assets would be eternally grateful and considering the price of a good bra, if we had to replace them less often we would save enough money to stock up on champers for Cactus's next visit.

BIG GIRLS WIN WAR ON TIT TAX

Women all over Britain have been outraged after Marks and Spencer started charging an extra two quid for bras with DD cups and over.

We have huge sympathy with these women
<---- Not BB.
Silly buggers - pommie queen size women obviously weren't going to take that sort of sizeist nonsense lying down.

Based on my humble experience with pommie men - ( married one once ) they are a nation of tit men so this campaign garnered some nationwide support quicker than a 15 year old boy could ping a bra strap.

Marks and Sparks reckoned it cost extra to make DD cup over the shoulder boulder holders.Crap said the "big breasted don't mess with us" team. They weren't being charged for big sized clothing so the argument appeared as realistic as Pamela Andersons left one.

So more than 8000 signing up to support a Facebook campaign run by Busts 4 Justice, which branded the extra charge for bigger bras an "unfair tit-tax".

National newspapers joined their cause, attacking M&S over its pricing policy and recruiting all sorts of voluptuous celebrities to comment on how unfair they thought it was.

The mass market Daily Mail began offering discount M&S vouchers so its readers wouldn't have to fork out any extra for larger size bras.

The Sun tabloid, famous for its Page 3 topless models, also urged M&S: "Hands off our boobs".

Finally after days of controversy - and bucketloads of negative publicity for M&S - the retailer's dapper chief executive Sir Stuart Rose backed down and announced an end to the bigger bra cost with the simple admission: "We boobed."

Yip we agree they made right tits of themselves.

A DISCERNING FLEA

We have been bitten, by what we think is a flea. Now considering that we have been rolling around picking grapes, patting strange dogs and have had a mouse problem in the Wairarapa, it is not surprising we have a flea.

However it is the flea's target that has us bemused. Not the butt or the bits in between. No. this is a very discerning flea. Last night he gorged himself on our juicy bits. Now we of stout frame provide excellent pickings for a rampant flea but he homed in on our breasts and judging by the tracks on our tits this morning, he had a fine old feast.

Sadly we have yet to find him. And unwilling to risk being sucked dry tonight we will be washing sheets and dousing ourselves in toxins so that his blood lust does not reduce our ample melons to the size of shrivelled passionfuit.

THE CUPS RUNNETH OVER DOWN SOUTH.

There was a rather vivid Southland saying that referred to the sized of ones boobies - " Shes got tits bigger than a Taranaki cow"
Always fascinated me how a Taranaki Cow could have more pendulous udders than the ones that the Southland cows sported but the reference was always about "Naki cows.
So it came as no surprise that in the deep south the Southland Times chose to run a feature about how important it is to get fitted for a bra. Now at the tender age of 13 being mandhandled by a woman ( she sported a Stephanie Mills) who seemed to really enjoy playing with my tiggers during my first bra fitting is one of the horrific memories of my pubescent years.

I was also the only one in my class who went straight to being encased in an underwire over- the- shoulder boulder- holder -bypassing all the slinky malinky models my mates adorned their poached eggs with.

And as you get older and gravity, that evil foe of women, tugs on your jugs , a good bra is a must.
And as long as the manthing of my past has gone to lesbian heaven, getting a good bra fitting advice is imperative.

So good on the Southland Times for giving the sheilas of the south the information they need to make their world a little bit more comfy.

INDEPENDENT ACTION -

The Whale found this - we dedicate it to my son and all the crews on Million Dollar Catch ( which incidently we will be watching tonight





The prudish Lamb cut will not be amused.....