JONES NO JERK.

So its a 3 way race as we predicted. The surprising thing is that Cunliffe has hoodwinked so many people. We thought his narcissistic traits would have put a off a lot of punters.

Jones has never lifted his pedal from the metal. He has shown that he is wily, smart and honest, well as honest as you will get any poly to be.

He deserves to carry the red banner.

Ground Breaking TV Concept - A Cooking Show

"Under The Grill is a series about a real kitchen nightmare; racing against the clock to design, build, staff and open one of three premier venues, in Federal St ‐ in time for the kick‐off of the Rugby World Cup!" - TV3

Yawn :-)

[Warning: Video is NSFV]

COBWEBS AND CACTUS'S COAT

Last night we saw a tweet from TV3's Rachel Smalley @RachSmalley who is fast becoming a twitter princess.

Anyway she was interested in doing a piece on voluntary celibacy. It made us think of a not very well known social club that operated back in the late 80's early 90's on Stewart Island. It was called the Cobweb club. Numbers fluctuated but there were about a dozen hard core members. Membership was only gained if you had gone a whole year without a shag. What was even funnier is that these women were all good looking sheilas. Funnier because at the time there were over 60 single men on the island.

They were a motley lot.

Anyway we missed out on entry by about 10 days. However, because we were fervent believers in the southern sheilas maxim, that no roots are better than bad roots, we became an associate member.

Anyway to Cactus's coat. Cactus will never be a member of the Cobweb club but she could be an associate member cos her mates have got her to understand now that no roots are better than dud roots.

So our high flying financial diva, Cactus is soon to be off jetting around the world again and she has dragged out one of the great man magnet clothing items - the fur coat. It doesnt have to be real - just fluffy - its a tactile thing. Men like stroking fluff.

And so what does a modern girl wear under a fur coat ? Easy - nothing.

NEW ZEALAND HAS LOST ITS FUNNY BONER

Bummer.

We can understand that the storm of international outrage over Paul Henry seemed so intense that there really was no option but for Paul Henry to either step aside or be sacked. That he resigned shows one of two things - that TVNZ finally got its shit together and stitched up a deal with Henry that included his resignation - leaving him looking magnanimous and contrite and ensuing the finger of blame flicked past Rick Ellis. The second is that Henry did it off his own bat sensing that TVNZ was going to axe him come Monday. That makes TVNZ look like a pack of wallies with no balls.

What would we have done if we were Rick Ellis? Toughed it out for another week. The media loves feeding off a good scandal but it will gorge itself when the dish of the day is one of their own.

The whole issue was maturing worldwide - we watched one broadcast where high placed Indian commentators reckoned that theirs was a far more racist country both internally and externally and that the Henry comments were nothing to get their turbans in a tangle over. Remember they still have a caste system over there.

People were starting to see sense on the issue. After the initial heat of the polarising debate more mature commentary would have dominated.

Sure Henry deserved some punishment and we thought a couple of weeks off air was about right.He was being a bit of a dickhead. But as we have said before, being a dickhead is part of his charm.

And despite the two top infotainment ringmasters, Sainsbury and Campbell, who both have a vested interest in seeing Henry gone, trying very hard to create programmes designed to put the nail in his broadcasting coffin, they failed. Simultaneous polls on both Close Up and Campbell Live clearly showed overwhelming support for Henry.

Why do they have a vested interest? Well Sainsbury is good but not as good as Henry or even Hoskings and getting one rival out of the road cements his position . Replacing Sainsbury was one of the industry's most talked about issues.

And of Campbell? For him its a ratings game. Chewing Henry up was always going to be a winner. Funnily though, the poll he ran indicated that there was probably more support for Henry as a broadcaster than Campbell could ever dream of. That would have been a kick in the arse for the pompous prick.

So we hope that Henry is not lost to NZ broadcasting. He is funny, erudite and surprisingly wise.

TV3 has a real chance to pick him up and boost their ratings - replace the sanctimonious Campbell and watch the viewers flock in.

And TVNZ should replace Sainsbury with the thinking journalists presenter and interviewer - Hoskings.

Clean broom and all that.

And the message for New Zealand? We are fasting becoming a nation of sanctimonious finger pointing, arse licking wankers. Shit, maybe we are British at our core after all.

UPDATE :

oh and a nice shot found by Cactus of that irredeemable racist Paul Henry..

PADDY NEEDS A WACK

We watched Patrick Gower's shift from the Herald to TV3 with interest. He has some talent but  on the face of it  his latest story about Tuhoe stepping up to get "total " control of the Ureweras as part of a treaty settlement is a beat up. A really big beat up - the sort that fuels redneck racism. 
So why do we think its a beat up  - well because the Treaty Minister the gracious Chris Finlayson says so. We are very glad he did. It would be an outrage if the Government was going to give away a big corner of the country lock stock and punga trees   to one group of families as their exclusive fiefdom  because that's essentially what the story meant.

Hon Christopher Finlayson Minister for Treaty of Waitangi Negotiations
19 April 2010	Media Statement

Statement on Treaty negotiations with Ngai Tuhoe

At no point in the negotiations have Ngai Tuhoe asked for any form of separatism from New Zealand or an independent Tuhoe state.  Those issues are simply not part of any negotiation the Crown is undertaking.  The Crown has not, and will not, make any offer to Ngai Tuhoe that includes such forms of redress.  Any claims by TV3 or other media organisations are simply untrue.

The Crown and Ngai Tuhoe have been engaged in negotiations for nearly two years.  The negotiations raise a number of complex issues which both parties are working through in a constructive manner and we hope to see progress in the near future.

Ngai Tuhoe have discussed the importance of Te Uruwera and the Crown is currently exploring with them what form any redress might take.  The Crown has made clear its position that any settlement must recognise the rights of all New Zealanders, including public access and conservation values.

So there we have it... Its not a runner...  However we reckon up in the mists of the Ureweras there will be a little band of Tuhoe who think that its all true and even if it never comes to pass, its the way they will see things anyway and if white people venture too far up that a -ways well they just might not come back.....They are the silly buggers Gower probably had a yarn to. 

So Patrick - you owe us a beer for scaring us and the rest of TV3 watchers unnecessarily....

WISH WE HAD SAID THAT

We cant claim to watch breakfast TV. Occasionally we will take a peek at the news at the top of the hour on TV1 but Oliver Driver was always too smarmy for us. 

Paul Henry's irreverence fits us well. 

So we did not even blink when TV3 Sunrise programme got the chop today. TV3 is in the business to make a profit - not to aid our early morning digestion. 

And then we flick over to the Eye to the Long Run Blog  by economist and irreverent cynic Brent Wheeler. 

He says what we wanted to only better. 

Now “Sunrise” – apparently a commercial disaster – falls. But we have a Canterbury University media academic commentator saying…. well with the “owner” being Iron bridge (a private equity group) as owners, we cannot expect a decent owners interest in news…. these guys are only after profits.

So what do you want in a business????? Profit is utterly neutral. It has no interest in left, right or centre…. it ought to be the ultimate owner.

Bad case of be careful what you wish for.

The rest of his pithy blog is here 

PASS THE BALL.

A great solution. The 2o11 Rugby World Cup Broadcasting Rights are shared out nicely.

We like.
Lots.

STILL MORE OYSTERS

Apparently a table of ten of my mates and guests at Dockside yesterday devoured 50 doz oysters between them. $47 a doz they were. The platinum cards melted under the pressure - by all accounts. The Dining prawn did his best but was overshadowed by the Greek prawn.

A little bit of conspicuous consumption every now and then is good for the economy....

Yeah baby!

And an update - TV3 has admitted via Throng that the oysters pictured behind the newsreader on the TV3 item were not Bluffies. Well done Phil Corkery for setting the matter straight.

Phil is a good bugger from down home. and still one of the best newsmen in the business.

I bet he ripped the philistine in charge of graphics another butt bit.

WRONG OYSTERS!

We want to line up the picture editor at TV3 and chuck kinas at him ! The 6pm bulletin had a story on todays Bluff oyster harvest but they had file footage of PACIFIC oysters.. very bad. And to top it all off Dave Gooseneck got the name of one of the oyster boat skippers Stephen Hawke wrong - He called him Hawkins...

The Hawke will get you..... he is a legend - well is old man is and Stephen is the son of a legend...

As for the best oyster recipe - Easy - just naked - no prissy wee dribbles of lemon .. just naked with maybe a half turn of black pepper.. And they should be so fresh that they shiver....

These are the real Bluff oysters.... there are no substitutes..... apart from Southern Glory oysters which are really just Bluff oysters from a private school....

FONTERRA LOOKED MEAN SPIRITED

There was a bit of a taint to Fonterras moolah marketing campaign that TV3 followed up on tonight. Now its easy to see that they followed the letter of the law when it came down to the promotion but the spirit - the intent of the campaign wasn't. It is pretty easy to see that the competition was badly designed and manipulated. So the downside for Fonterra is that they will have left a bad taste with the budding milk consumers. The downside for the consumers is that Fonterra pretty much dominates the market so its not like a brand switch will do much damage.

The sad fact of this this saga is that Fonterra needs to position itself as the heart of New Zealands primary sector. Its the company we all want to be proud of. It needs to win the support of kiwi kids for the future.
This campaign failed the company and the country dismally on that count.

QUESTIONS TO PONDER

What did McCully and Brownlie yack about over Satay sticks at Chow in Woodward Street tonight.

What does Rick Ellis have against helicopters?

What is Mark Ellis doing in Wellington?

Is the fact Shane Jones is seeking the limelight have anything to do with the fact the Goffs position as leader of Labour is looking tenuous?

HERALD A LITTLE SLOW

Its not often we get one over the Herald but this week we did. We here at Roarprawn signalled on Saturday that TVNZ was due to put up a bid to counter the rugby World Cup bid of TVNZ.

Patrick Gower is a fine young reporter and he fleshes out our story here today.


What we dont like is that TV3 is involved... Why? Whats the reasoning? Its the question Gower hasn't ansked and needed to be answered. We said originally that any money being fed to Tv3 would end up in the coffers of their Aussie financiers...


So why not a joint bid by the two stations tied to the state?

GOFF IS ROOTED

The Tv3 poll tonight must be the deathblow for Phil Goff.

There will be a BBQ at Cunners place before the weekends out we reckon.

National is up 2.1 percent to 58.1, which gives them a commanding 72 seats in Parliament.

Labour is down 0.8 to 29.2, the Greens pick up some of that and move to 7.5 percent.

The rest make up the numbers – Act is down to 1.4 percent, the Maori party is 1.2, Winston Peters’ New Zealand First has a few diehards left at 1 percent, but Peter Dunne has even fewer – just 2 people out of 1,000 say they will vote for United Future.

In the preferred Prime Minister stakes John Key is up to 51.5, a commanding lead over New York-based Helen Clark who drops back to eight but still ahead of Phil Goff – who glides to 6.5 percent.

Everyone, despite the economic slump still has faith in our boy John.
But as for Goff -


Shit he cant even beat Clark... Rooted he is Rooted.

NZ HAS BEEN HOODWINKED

This is the lie that has led thousands of kiwis to put their hands in their pocket and give to a charity. We think that there should be an inquiry. Advertising Standards would be a bloody good place to start.

CYNICISM GROWING OVER TV3 CHARITY

We blogged on the TV3 kids Can charity yesterday - we smell PR all over this one. And bugger me we buy the Sunday Star Times and Michael Laws has the same sense of unease.

Good on him , we hope there is more scrutiny of this event...

UPDATE :And there is - Keeping Stock joins the fray.

HAPPY FEET

Tonight everyone is expected to be glued to TV3 for what is being billed as an old style Telethon.
Okay we get that. Here's the blurb on the charity

Your support of KidsCan is invaluable and we are looking forward to an incredible weekend on Saturday August 8th and Sunday August 9th for the Big Night In, Telethon screening on TV3. The money raised over the 23 hours of Telethon will go towards supporting the 153 schools on the waiting list for help from KidsCan Stand Tall.

The children at these schools are in urgent need of our raincoats, shoes and food programmes.

However all the bill boards we have seen have centred on giving kids shoes.

Well bugger me - we spent our entire childhood trying not to wear shoes.

So whats that about?

Anyway KidsCan seems, on the face of it to be a worthy charity that aims to look after poor kids - but burrow down into their website and you get a sense of a purpose built vehicle to give some marketing types a job - ( all the trustees are marketers) and to promote the All Blacks

Are we just a wee bit cynical perhaps?

Now if kids in the far north like their new coats that make them walking talking billboards for the All Blacks then all and good but how much do the trustees make and how much money goes to the kids compared to what it costs to run KidsCan?

TV3 - SHONKY JOURNALISM

We were pretty angry after we saw a Tv3 60 minutes segment last night on Weatherston where the journalist inferred that she had interviewed Weatherston post his conviction... It was crap journalism - a thinly veiled statement that left viewers with a clear impression that the interview had taken place post his conviction.

You see, we now have it on good authority that the reporter in question visited Weatherston with his parents sometime in March -April this year. Now Journalists require the permission of the family , the inmate and the CE of Corrections. Our snouts tell us that Corrections are not the bad guys here. Apparently no permission was sought so none was granted. So effectively it would appear T3 have broken the rules.

So we apologise to Barry Matthews and his team for casting aspersions on their judgement.

We also think that they will not let this issue rest. TV3 has done their credibility no favours. It was simply bad journalism - They could have told the truth - instead of implying they had permission.

But no - they deceived the public and we expect better.

GOVERNMENT GIVES WEATHERSTON A SOAP BOX.

Yip it true. We have just been watching the Weatherston piece on TV3 60 Minutes. It was okay till they got to the bit where the reporter revealed she had been given permission to visit Weatherston in Jail.
Admittedly she talked about how keen he was to give his achievements. It did not paint a pleasant picture but the picture should never have been painted.

Weatherston should not have had that opportunity. Corrections has done the country a disservice for allowing the interview to go ahead.

Someone should be held accountable for that decision. Obviously Corrections thinks more of the rights of the inmate than the family of the victim. We hope that Sophie's family complain. We would help them write it.

WIN A CAR

Well you can - if you go here

and we have already said what we think here

Check out the comments section



hat tip No Minister





Update - here are some of the comments on the site to date

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DUNCAN GARNER YOU NEED A KICKING

We have already blogged on the fact that Whale Oil broke the Winston Peters missing car story and this morning he continued with a bloody good follow up. Now Tv3 gives the story an airing and bugger me - no blood mention of Whales sleuthing - Not good enough Tv3.