CLARE WHO THE NEW LEFTY CRUMPET IS

Yesterdays narcissistic turn by Clare "Puss in Boots" Curran to use parliament to show her displeasure at a commercial decision by a sporting franchise was odd.

What was odder was when Curran, dressed in over the knee muskateer boots, black trousers and the offending rugby top was backed up in her stand by one lone member of the Labour caucus. Trevor Mallard.

Or maybe it wasnt so surprising when a few blokes on twitter expressed delight and indeed lusty thoughts for Ms Curran and those boots. A few wished they could see Ms Curran sans shirt and only in "those" boots.

But it is surprising that she was not backed up by any other labour sheilas or indeed any other blokes. After all we thought the Labour movement was all about solidarity.

So we reckon what it shows is that Mallard gallantry means he obviously really, really, really likes Clare and probably loves her in those f**k me boots.

CLARE NO TASTE OR MATES?

Clare Curran seems to be as passionate about Otago as we are about Southland. I'm a sixth generation Southlander on one branch of the family tree and 5 generations on the other.

The maroon and blue of the jersey of the amalgamated Otago Southland team was fine by us but the kermit green of the new jumper is sick making and the players are hard to see on the telly.

So we get why Curran wanted to let her feelings be known about the crass verdant hue of the new southern shirt - but why in Parliament? Its not a political issue. Its a rugby franchise issue.

She is an attention seeker at the best of times but Currans latest effort was seriously off the mark.

Suddenly, she turned an inappropriate show of patriotism to a rugby franchise in parliament into a feminist issue over parliamentary dress standards.

Now we think the dress standards in parliament are crap. Its time to move away from the class chokers for men and "business attire" bullshit for women.

But Currans posturing was all about her - not about the team or indeed dress standards.

It was all so bloody stupid and facile. And that fact was recognised by her Labour Party colleagues - not one of them walked the plank with her as she left the chamber.

Which is outstanding really - it means one of three possibilities - the old feminist cabal of Labour has finally lost the battle within the party - or maybe - Clare is simply the most unpopular person in the party or the Labour boys were waiting for her to get her kit off.

WHO LET THE DOG OUT?

Mallard show stopping mongrel dog impressions are funny. They are so off key, ( pardon the pun) wide of the mark and puerile that they are just plain loony tunes..

If thats the biggest set of nashers Labour's got then they need help. Key must feel he is being gummed by a 60 yr old dirty girl.

CRIMSON GENERAL SHOOS AWAY ATROPOS

We were very heartened to hear that Matt McCarten is looking to stare at us over the political ramparts for a while longer.

Matt, like us, has mates across the political spectrum and it was from one of them that we heard that the cherubic faced unionist was facing a grim prognosis on the cancer front.

A few months later we met him and a few other celebs in the Chapel Bar in Auckland.

We got to yacking, as you do, and found we had quite a few common friends, as is often the case in our little country.

So today we were delighted to read his column and find out that he has upped the odds on surviving cancer for a while yet.

McCarten is a unionist and politician we admire. He is committed, a gentleman, a fine tactician and loyal to his mates no matter what their beliefs.

His politics are not ours - in fact we are diametrically opposed in the way we think we can change the world and make it better

Anyway, McCarten is the best type of political enemy, one we can respect. And we need him to be operating on all cylinders this year otherwise it will be no bloody fun at all.

“Love your enemies just in case your friends turn out to be bastards.”

GAY GEESE AND GAGGLING GIRLS

We have already blogged on what we see as a very dangerous development for Labour - the rise and rise of Andrew Little and his comrades - a flea bitten motley crew of die hard unionists, know for their strong arm tactics and crimson red philosophies.

Actually its got to be said - these unionists who have a huge influence on Little, are actually commie cuddlers.

So we think the Damien O'Connor is a wise and brave man. He has told Labour leaders to stick their party list up some well worn arses , as he believe its stacked with and by unionists and a " gaggle of gays"

Mr O'Connor said he stood aside because he did not trust the list ranking process. "Frankly, I didn't trust the system to give a straight-shooter a fair deal ... It is dominated by self-serving unionists and a gaggle of gays."

He would not name individuals, but said he was disappointed the system did not deliver better results for rural and provincial candidates, such as himself, who were outside the party's power blocs.

"It does not truly represent the rank-and-file members and delivers a list that is not truly representative of those who vote Labour."

Damien used to flat with John Tamihere - so his verbal skills have been well honed during lengthy conversations over weetbix. So they share a loathing of power hungry, muff loving front bums

While O'Connor has never been a high fligher, and he was known as a particularly dithering Minister, he is a staunch supporter of the West Coast and sits so far to the right of Labour he would probably have found a comfy pozzy in National.

But he is right about Labours list - it has few stand out candidates, there are too many commie cuddlers for most Labour voting urban liberals and there are too many people of alternative sexual persuasions for the commie cuddlers.

Damien is well respected on the Coast and if he gets his shit together, and doesn't get sidetracked by some skinny bint in frilly knickers he might just snatch the seat off Chris Auchinvole.

As for Labour, they are being rooted , in the worst possible way, by that " gaggle of gays."

UPDATE - and Gonzo has squizz at what Labour might look like in the future..

BEST BLOG OF THE DAY

Lindsay Mitchell always has a considered take on political events and today is no exception.

She puts politics and the Darren Hughes Affair in its place.

Read it here.

We also watched Goff on Q and A today - he was not impressive. And tonight TVone news focussed on the disconnect between Goff and party prez Andrew Little.

While we think that Labour would be stupid to replace Goff leading up to the election we were quite surprised to see a clip on Marae of Shane Jones in a potae and a tie today -and he was minus the humourous banter. He was all serious and statesman like. So what, we wonder is he up to?

He has been a numbers man in the past and will be again. He is one of the few in Labour to have an ok relationship with Cunliffe.

And of course the Tizard factor is delicious.. We are confident that she will not step aside.

One thing we think is for certain it aint over for Labour until the fat lady sings

HOLIDAY HOOHAA

We have been doing a bit of grumbling about the unfortunate state of affairs that means that we miss out on two holidays this year - Waitangi Day and Anzac Day.

Now as much as we like to go on holiday this is not something that can just be changed willy nilly.

We were going to proffer a whole set of arguments about why the status quo should remain.

Then we pick up the NZ Herald and find John Key has done it for us.

Grant Robertson is one of the few Labour politicians we respect but this holiday thing smacks of political opportunism in Election year.. Grant is way better than that. He is capable of serious policy development of the sort that can change lives for the better. A private members bill will get Grant some headlines but the subject demeans him.

ROUND UP

Has to be Cactus's almost scholarly take on the finance companies debacle.

Best Column has to be Frans here on her sagely advice to John Key

And Matthew Hooton's excellent take on the unlocked potential of SOE's - as a columnist he is going from strength to strength.

And we were delighted with TransTasmans excellent assessment of Clare Curran. She is an ex PR Hack but according to the literary scribes on the TT team her press releases are incomprensible. Apparently she is loathed by the Labour caucus. If she thinks we are making that up - a question for Clare. Where do you think that TransTasman gets its info? Oh yes thats right - your colleagues! Sucks to be you Clare.

WILL THE 17 HAVE A BUSY WEEK?

Chris Carter reckoned that there were 17 Labour MPs who were keen to replace Goff .

And after Labours woeful showing in Mana we wonder how long it will be before the knives are out and Goff is removed from office. ?

NGAI TAHU STILL BIDDING FOR A SLICE OF HUBBARDS PIE

Due Dillgence boys - due diligence...

While we were not overly surprised that Ngai Tahu is putting up a serious bid for some of the Hubbard baubles that still had a bit of a shine on them, we are still a bit concerned, as apparently are some of those at the Top Table. According to our sources the deal is still live. There is considerable nervousness about this deal and there was also considerable surprise that the details had been leaked.

Questions are being asked about just where those leaks have come from and this time it does not look like the info, that ended up in the hands of Labour party leader in waiting David Cunliffe, came from the cuzzies.

There remains considerable risk with the Hubbard portfolio, as we understand that there are still many unknowns. So we hope that everyone proceeds with caution.

We dont want to end up owning few choppers and a couple of farms if they are not long term strategic assets with viable long term returns.

However, some of the assets do present some real opportunities, so as we said before, due diligence boys, due diligence.

ET TU BRUTE?

There is an interesting story circulating Wellington today in the wake of the Chris Carter scandal.

It is that more than one journalist has seen the list of Labour MP's that Carter has " interesting" information about. There are reportedly quite a few names.

The second story is that there really was a coup afoot to unseat Goff. They had met and sorted out their strategy. They were ready to pounce and that coup was reportedly led by none other than David Cunliffe and most importantly they had the numbers. And then Carter decided to indulge in some idiotic black ops - which fast turned into black slops when the anonymous letter to the Gallery led straight back to him.

The fact that there was a coup and that it was ready to go may have been the reason that Carter was so bloody ballsy after the event.

He knows the numbers are there to roll Goff. He knows there is a will for it to happen.

We think that the only thing that has really changed is the when.

Goff can do little else but watch his back and get his spies to check out for the charcoal smoke rising from the BBQ in David Cunliffe's backyard.

FOR CHRIS CARTER

THE CHANGELING

We have been waiting for the Bill Liu court case to come up. Keeping Stock has good roundup here

And we have covered the issue in depth in the past.

Definitely a story to watch.

QUESTIONS

ACT  - Heather who?
Maori Party - What do you stand for again?
National Party  - Will you lose your bottle?
Labour - When will you show us an alternative?
Greens - Why?
United ? Who cares?

GOFF IS A HYPOCRITE

How long has Phil Goff been the member for Mount Roskill? 

And this is how he treats his own back yard.  The Winstone Quarry above  is only 200 metres from Phil Goff's electorate office.  

If this is what he's prepared to have his own constituents put up with let's hope he never becomes Prime Minister - he'll strip mine the whole country. 

We suspect this is his "secret agenda."

Key on the other hand has ruled out big ugly holes in National Park. 

NOW WE KNOW THE TRUTH

Labour are a bunch of soft cock mealy mouth hypocrites. And one could contend they have become all they once despised. Racist even.

It appears that despite Goffs mirror Orewa speech sending shivers down the lefty backbone of the party, MP's are suddenly having a Goff love in.

He is stuffed. This is not a show of unity but a show of desperation.
It is the sort of thing that normally happens just before a coup.

Be afraid Phil.. We can hear the knives being sharpened from here.

DISAPPEARING MAN

Goff looked pale on TVNZ tonight. He is fighting for political relevancy and even his speech that took him to the bottom of the bait barrel of politics has not made a wit of difference.

He is slowly disappearing.....
















In contrast to this man....

BEGGIN YER PARDON M'LORD

Apparently we have come to the attention of the Lord bloggers in Britain. They are all from the House of Lords...

We are delighted that they have acknowledged the colonials in the antipodes.

Welcome to our New Zealand readers

Thanks to kiwiblog, as well as roarprawn and Alf Grumble, we have attracted a fair amount of traffic from New Zealand as well as apparently generating a little internal debate there. I hope our New Zealand readers will become regular followers, adding to our international readership.

This entry was written by lordnorton, posted on October 21, 2009 at 9:14 pm,

Well done chaps. Any time you want a extra rider at the hunt give us a shout... We have been blooded you know.

Arohanui and toodle pip.

RED BOTTOMS NEED SMACK DOWN

We were doing a little blog cruise when we spied upon this interesting little post from the enigmatic Alf Grumble who has a lovely take down of Clare Curran pious little wank post on Red Alert about the new British cross party Blog - Lord of the Blogs deigning to mention the Antipodean Red rantings.

Anyway Alf kindly pointed out that Ms Curran is a geographic dyslexic.

Alf is surprised there has been no thundering of outrage from the Busted Blonde at Roarprawn. BB – of course – comes from Bluff, which is roughly 200 kilometres below Dunedin South.

It’s not that much further away as the crow flies, sure, but Dunedin is sitting at around 45.50S and Bluff Harbour is at 46.36S.

We know Labour is prone to take a bit of latitude with its debating style, but this much latitude …?

Nah. Clare has been caught spouting bullshit.

So she tells the Brits that she hails from the bottom of the South Island.

I am an electorate MP from the seat of Dunedin South, at the bottom of the South Island. I am one of the new Labour MPs. And I’m the spokesperson for communications and IT, so Red Alert is a bit of project for me.
Kia pai to ra (Have an awesome day)

What a load of shite .. And this woman made a living out of being a spinner.

Now BB is from the Deep South. Originally from Invercargill and Bluff. That is the bottom of New Zealand - the roundy bit. Dunedin, just up the track aways , is the place affectionately known by deep southers like us as the arsehole of the country...

So no wonder that Curran is an "awesome" tutae spouter..

TALKING ABOUT THE JONES BOY

National 60%, Labour 27%, Key 56%, Goff 5%, Clark 8% in latest TV3 poll.

We think the result of TV3's poll is enough for Cunliffes numbers man , Shane Jones to start working the phones tonight.

Who will it be - Annette King at one ? Trevor "Putin " Mallard at two ?

Or Cunliffe at one and Mallard at two ?