CLARE WHO THE NEW LEFTY CRUMPET IS

Yesterdays narcissistic turn by Clare "Puss in Boots" Curran to use parliament to show her displeasure at a commercial decision by a sporting franchise was odd.

What was odder was when Curran, dressed in over the knee muskateer boots, black trousers and the offending rugby top was backed up in her stand by one lone member of the Labour caucus. Trevor Mallard.

Or maybe it wasnt so surprising when a few blokes on twitter expressed delight and indeed lusty thoughts for Ms Curran and those boots. A few wished they could see Ms Curran sans shirt and only in "those" boots.

But it is surprising that she was not backed up by any other labour sheilas or indeed any other blokes. After all we thought the Labour movement was all about solidarity.

So we reckon what it shows is that Mallard gallantry means he obviously really, really, really likes Clare and probably loves her in those f**k me boots.

THE NEXT SEXUAL REVOLUTION?

We think so.

The country is all agog after it was revealed that Pam Corkery was considering doing a reality TV programme on creating a brothel for women .

We are neither surprised nor dismayed by the idea.

Firstly, we need to look at the changing landscape of sexual politics. Its warped due to the intense societal shifts we are seeing. Like the fact that childless couples, rather than families are becoming the biggest cohort in our communities.

And we are becoming serial monogamists - Partners yes but often of short to medium term ( ten years.)

And while sexual interaction once required us to actually meet and engage with people we are now able to indulge in sexual activity without touching or even talking to someone.

Online is where it is at.

And there is a hell of a lot of people at it.

Ask any Broadband supplier about porn peaks.

We chat, we "date" and with skype and other video conferencing we can actually indulge in sexual play without an exchange of body fluids.

We have done a bit of a squizz around the net and everyone, this may come as a surprise , but there is a huge change in the way that pornography is now working on the net.

Once it wasn't free. With online porn it used to be pay as you go.. Or maybe Pay, Come and Go.

Now there is an astounding array of free video porn for the masses. Hours and hours of it on a huge list of sites. Popular catagories, amateur, bondage, lesbian, mature, MILF, soft, hardcore, women, and then you can sub catagorise - so blonde buxom older woman. . Its a sextrix that caters to every fantasy every taste.

Often its in low resolution, often very amateurish but some of it is high quality and some of it is obviously illegal. Girls and boys who are far too young.

Attached to the free video porn sites are the chat and interaction sites that make the porn merchants the money. After the videos wear thin the users can tap into what is a peep show.

You can take a look see first before you commit to an interactive session with a real person.

Its a virtual red light district. And you pay for the one on one or one on many - whatever your fancy.

But still no relationship.In a purely physical sense, sure needs will be met. And its very safe.

However, we are still a tactile species and the need for intimacy and touch is still strong.

So what about the online dating sites?

They are cheap. You start linking up, then you can organise to meet up and that when things can go seriously wrong. There have been murders and rapes and I suspect many women and indeed a few men have had some very bad experiences they would be too embarrassed to take to the authorities because there is still a stigma attached to online dating.

Now one cannot discount the danger of the zipless fuck - the hook up in a dark bar, the frantic mating and the hurried exit in the early hours. But normally there are others who know you are with someone. Its not totally anonymous.

So the idea of a discrete service for women who want sex with no ties but with a degree of safety is a good one. And women now have a new sexual freedom in our changing society.

The cougar phenomenon is a reality. There is a lot of alpha pussy of many ages out there. Sit them down and they will tell you that they would not discount paying for sex. It has value like good shoes, handbags, facials, manicures, champagne, cars.

But like Cactus says, its going to have to be quality. No pile drivers. No two minute tossers.

Nope. What the power pussies will want and demand - is quality. Someone who is carefully skilled in the art of pleasure. Not his. Theirs.

We reckon its an idea whose time has very simply - come.

On and in case you are wondering - we didn't go blind researching for this blog. True.

TICKLE YOUR FANCY - A WABBIT WANKER?

While we know we have had a strange effect on some men  - we have never had an effect on them like this. 

We think he has to  play tinky wink with the rabbits gonads or girly bits  to get them to do this.. How do we know that?  


Well.........


And just when you think it couldn't get any stranger - a couple of crims avoided capture by dressing up as sheep... 
true ....   baaad behaviour... 

IS TREVOR IN LUST?

We reckon the Labour Lycra loving bovver boy Trev Mallard is developing a bit of a thing for Cactus Kate - the prickly puss of Hong Kong. We know when the Red Alert guys start lurking around the blogs..

They leave a trail of red breadcrumbs along the cyber highways and byways of blogdom. And we can tell you they have been lurking. Well some of them anyway.

Now we like Trevor's blogs - they are the only thing worth reading over at Red Alert and he is quite good lunch company as well - despite being a socialist arsewipe.

Today in the House during Question Time in an exchange between Cunliffe and Joyce., in a total random outburst Mallard was heard to shout out this reference to the spiny spinster: " What did Cactus Kate say about it!"

It was noticed, it drew gasps of shock. Others were stunned.

We think that Trev has all the sex appeal of a dead possum.

We think it is strange... like - whats that about? - strange.... But that small phrase has the beltway a buzz and was mentioned in hushed tones at functions all over town tonight.

Is Trevor in lust ? Is he harbouring a virtual obsession for Kate?

What does he do in the privacy of his own office while reading the pithy wit of the Hong Kong Harridan?

Does he have her picture as a screen saver?

Does he skype her?

We think the idea of Cactus shagging Trev is preposterous and the only way she would jump his bones is in the name of research - perhaps to find the answer that vexing question - Are Labour politicians better lovers that capitalists?

We wonder does he have any trips planned to Hong Kong?

What ever does this mean?

SISTERS DOING IT FOR THEMSELVES

In a curious way we find ourselves deeply entertained by Cactus's nomination for the Madame Cliqout business woman of the year.

We spent most of yesterday with the previous winner Julie Christie, who was out flatmate and classmate of the 1979 Wellington Polytechnic Journalism Course. She was New
Zealands inaugural winner of the award and she surely deserved it.

However our bright flower of youth has surely wilted, as last night some of our class, who had not seen each other for 30 years, mistook the glamourous Julie for me. Ahh those wasted wanton nights of the past have taken their toll on Busted Blondes fair countenance. Where as hard work, and its rewards now shine from Julies. Dam it. And today Christie herself is in the news.

It is a prestigious award

Anyway, we are delighted that Cactus nominated Lisa Lewis for the award. We have always been fans of legalised prostitution. It provides a safety valve in society.

And Lewis has glamourised the profession and has willingly promoted herself and her work earning top dollar for her services as well. She knows the value in looking after her assets and is prepared to invest some capital in plant renewal. AKA a bit of gravity defying silicon in her rack. And knows the value of maintenance - keeping everything in top order with a exercise regime that requires considerable discipline.

More over, Lewis has taken the shame away for her job, she has helped give it a friendly face. She has turned prostitution into another suburban service like a dairy.

You go to the dairy to get milk. You go to Lisa to get milked.

Lewis also understands and uses marketing to great effect. She seizes every opportunity she can to promote her product.

Seriously though whats the difference in the way Lewis uses her assets as compared to someone like Nicky Watson or Charlotte Dawson?

We say that she is an admirable choice. So we salute Cactus for taking the initiative to nominate her and we salute Lisa for being a good nominee.

FRANKLY MY DEAR

We have borrowed this from Guido Fawkes

Disraeli on arriving home from the Commons to find that his wife had waited up for him with a game pie and a bottle of champagne.

“My Dear, you are more like a mistress than a wife”.

CARMEN IN WELLINGTON

The baby scribes over at NewsWire have a heads up yarn on the infamous Carmen being in town.

When we were a baby scribe, in fact when we were a wannabe scribe, in the summer of '79, one of the first stories we ever wrote for the Mount Cook Messenger was about Carmen and her coffee shop and the characters who gathered at the very late night haunt.

We got on famously.

A few weeks later, the father of BB and some other fisheries big wigs were in town for a Royal Commission on the importation of Man Ho rope for fishing. Donaghys had an importation monopoly and the rope they sold was crap and expensive. Dad and the fisheries big wigs won anyway. Dad paid me to be secretary and take notes for the day.
So there was an imperative to celebrate. Lots.

So off we went - Me, aged 18 and five old blokes. We had dinner at Des Brittens and then the boys who were getting a bit tanked decided that they needed to see more of the big smoke. So it was off down Vivian Street.

Anyway we are about 15 yards from Carmen's who is standing at the door enticing people to enjoy her unique hospitality.

She spies BB and her eyes light up in instant recognition.

"Tina, how are you she purred. Ohh look you have brought some loverly boys for me to play with" Come in , boys , come in...."

And to this day I am sworn to secrecy about the rest of the events of that evening.....

KITICHEN CONFIDENTIAL

So who is the dirty young boy who is singing the carnal praises of a certain young lass who likes to fraternise on her famous dads kitchen table?

Is this the first political miscegenation case of the new term?

We say shame on the boy who talks. We have Prior knowledge of his dirty deed and we will spill all if he doesnt shut his gob and his flies.

We want to ensure that this RD postman only comes once.

VIRGIN BY NAME AND NATURE

How sad is this? Virgin Railways is banning good bye kisses at the train station.
Killjoys - Hope someone organises a bloody big love in.

STICKY BUNS FOR LUNCH ANYONE?

Well knock us down with a feather. It appears the dirty girls in Christchurch are falling on hard times but not the hard times they want. Seems the recession made their market go soft. So they are whipping up some extras to entice the punters to spend half a hundy on a lunch time blowy rather than a steak and a Pinot down on the Strip.

And its the quick service lunch time trade that has become a winner with the Christchurch boys.

DEAD PIG PORN

We have had a few whinges about the vege porn video - We hate Peta - ( we think it should stand for people eating tasty animals).

But this has to be the best dead pig BBQ recipe ever ( hat tip beer boy NM)

Guaranteed to make your arteries sigh in Ecstasy.

and this from Home Paddock - as the Aussies look to real food solutions to the recession.

SLAP AND TICKLE POPULAR IN SOUTHLAND

Love it - Invercargill has a newish brothel, Elite Ladies gets some publicity because a few business residents are worried it will lower the tone of the CBD. Suddenly its business goes ballistic. Noice.
BB has a link with Southern brothels. Her son had a wonderful nanny in Invercargill, one of the best. She asked BB for some advice about buying some property. BB was quite nonplussed - how could she manage to buy some property as a nanny? She explained that she loved looking after kids ( BB's little boy especially ) but in fact she was a madam. She bought some flats with the money she earned and she told BB how much money she made. BB seriously considered a career change.

Funnily, it appears its the bondage and discipline that's the most popular service at the new brothel. Seems nothing much has changed in the deep south.

GHOSTS OF CHRISTMAS'S PAST

From the Herald comes some words of advice .

All BB will say is it is wise advice. Be good at Xmas parties. No wearing a wee number that makes your cleavage look like a creamy abyss. No smoking dope or swallowing party drugs. No kissing in the lift or in the stationery cupboard. No late night clubbing and no sharing a cab home with your boss.

Staff members going to work Christmas parties this season could wake up with more than just a hangover, with infidelities "rampant" during the silly season, a private investigator warns.

A recent survey of 1168 workers by a condom manufacturer found 49 per cent would like to have sex at an office Christmas party given the opportunity.

With the combination of alcohol, reduced inhibitions and intention, large numbers of relationships will start to show the cracks of infidelity leading up to and during the Christmas and New Year period, private investigator Kerrie Pihema said.

"If you suspect your spouse of being romantically involved with someone at work, we strongly recommend you attend the office party," Ms Pihema said.

"Do not be put off by your partner suggesting the Christmas party is a `closed shop' or that you will not know anyone there. Arrange for a babysitter if you have children, wear your fancy attire and turn up."

She said if people had genuine concerns about their partner and workplace infidelity then Christmas parties were a source of information that may be "too valuable to your relationship to miss".

And as a matter of interest Kerrie Pihema is a top chick.

BEER GOGGLES ARE REAL

Its true, beer does give you that dewy vision but for the wrong reasons. Seems four or more beers a day will make you go blind. From the Australian

OH LORDY - BB IS A SEX SYMBOL

Well almost - Scalia reckon BB was one of the three hottest female bloggers. Nah Cactus is way hotter than BB . Whale Oil calls BB a " Nana" -

Madeline won the competition . Well deserved we say!

QUEEN BEE ON THE PINOT?

WOW , the old girl must have been out on the tiles last night and it appears from the quality of the posts on the Hive Queen Bee had a couple of glasses of Wycroft Pinot Noir too many.

She wants us to boycott TV3 because they have broadcast another one of the " secret " tapes that was made at the National Party conference.

Now poor old QB isn't a journalist and doesn't realise that todays independent media like TV3 is only interested in entertainment. And we think it is very entertaining TV. Duncan Garner is the best eye candy of any of the TV political presenters.

And Keeping Stock has fallen for Queen Bees drunken musings as well


We don't have a problem that TV3 aired another of the tapes because we know that TV3 , to ensure fairness and balance, will publish the tapes that the VRWC has "obtained " over the last month or so.

However we are prepared to sell them to the highest bidder, with money going to the Breast Cancer Foundation because QB has made such a tit of herself.

Please email bustedblonde@gmail.com if you would like to buy them.

ROARPORN HAS HEALTHY INTEREST IN POSTERIORS

Queen Bee at the Hive appears to be worried about the moral decline of the RoarPrawn. So what, if we like boys bums. We llike boys fronts too but dont want to offend our mums.

And this is not a bad bum but is fluffy and we dont like fluffy bums.


And we can see how many times people visit this site and which pages they view and Queen Bee has been visiting this particular site a lot.

what can that mean ?????

BUMMER!

All wellington beaches are nude zones .. woohoo !!!

This has the full endorsement of Roarprawn.

Heres the yarn at the Dominion -

CACTUS KATE DOESN'T APPRECIATE GOOD WINE AND WELL ENDOWED FARMERS

Bugger me , I thought that this was the outstanding news of the week - a direct air service from Masterton to Auckland.

The Aussie Rock and I have a block of lovely land and a really big shed with a really big bed just north of Masterton so I was delighted to read about the new air service on STUFF this morning .

Kate takes the piss - but hell the Wairarapa is a very happening place, lots of very eligible bachelors over there and plenty of married men who are looking for a bit of off the radar action so if i was her I would be jetting in as soon as she gets a long weekend.

Site round up - Roarprawn growing fast.

QB at the Hive got all gloaty over increases in traffic - well done the Hive.

Roarprawn, although very new, has grown exponentially - averaging 1200 hits a day this week ....and logging 13,000 unique visitors since the 7th of September. My previous counter says over 21,600 have visited the site, and I had it on about ten days before the new site meter was attached.

I launched the site on the 10th of August.

All the VWRC sites are reporting an increase in traffic..

Scampi is still very popular, Kick Arse Economics about Stephen Jennings was also a favourite as was racing and of course anything to do with sex!

And thanks for all of those who have left comments - Anonymous is a very busy boy...


And I haven't forgotten those who want to join the Prawn team .. I will be in touch next week with the yay or nay.

The site will change a bit over the next week or so.