Monday, 10 August 2009


Cactus has done a great piss take of Auckland's young loverlies who have been featured in the NZ Herald as NOW girls.

We are a WAS girl. WAS cool once now just wrinkly, grumpy and loving every moment.

So if we were asked the same questions as the NOW girls - what would be the answers. ?

Age: 49 and fucking fabulous

What she does: Blogger, mother, public servant and company director.

Career highlights: Teaching inmates how to put on condoms. Holding the Southern steinlager sculling title.

Future plans: Replace David Garrett in Parliament - go on Rodney you know I would back you up and I wouldn't trip over my tongue like that misogynistic arrogant git.

Creative Ethos. Take it to the limit and when you get there - gloat.

Creative goals: Never ever, ever be predictable except for the days we dine at Zicos and we always have fish, or at Tulsis where we always have butter chicken kiwi hot.

Anything else you want to do? Eat at Tetsuyas . and Rick Steins. Have all my mates turn up for my 50th next year on Stewart Island and drink the place dry and dine on crayfish, oysters and paua for the whole weekend. Drink more Christal bubbles. Still be able to laugh like a hyena when I'm seventy without wetting my nana knickers.

Her style: Fat chick velvet glam with lots of fur trim and sensible shoes. ( Apart from our prada sandals. )


peteremcc said...

I'll send you a candidate application form. :)

Observer said...

So can we all have a go?
Here's mine

Age: 65 today and ready to Paaaaaarty

What he does: Today a wage-slave, next Thursday a globe trotter looking at things I've always wanted to get a proper look at

Career highlights: Getting fined $1 by the US-ATSB for putting a lead balloon at 30,000 foot over the Atlantic and interfering with Air Traffic Control

Future plans: Finish marrying off the kids, spoil grandchildren rotten, make sure my last cheque, made out to the undertaker, bounces.

Creative Ethos. If everyone knows it's true IT ISN'T. (see example above regarding lead balloons going down.)

Creative goals: To write a book exposing the truth about Management Consulting

Anything else you want to do? Have a threesome with two nubile young ladies - but I've had that in mind since you were just 10.

His style: Not having caught oldfartitus yet, I would claim svelte and trendy is I hadn't spent 10 years travelling in First Class five nights a week and eating the food. So I'll just claim 'portly as DPF but with a better sense of style' (suit by Armani, shoes by Mischief!)