TARGET SHOULD DO AN INVESTIGATION INTO BRA WIRES

We know we have done a few posts on bras, but after 2300 km of driving in Australia - much over rutted dirt roads, in a V6 Commodore with low profile tyres - we have given our bras a serious work out. And our latest black lacy 18dd is now stuffed.

We are pretty sure that the underwire is made from recycled skodas. These days our underwire bras last about 4 months then either it busts (sorry about the pun) or gets really bent out of shape. One wire recently gave up the good fight in a meeting and the sound of the snap was loud enough to be heard by the others in the room . It was a long moment. We coughed loudly and scraped our chair but one other big breasted chick in the room - gave me a knowing wink. I fessed up and everyone was deeply sympathetic.

Anyway, I reckon that this is one for the consumer champions, Target to investigate. - Put some underwire bras under some stress tests and see which brands come up trumps.

We and our two best assets would be eternally grateful and considering the price of a good bra, if we had to replace them less often we would save enough money to stock up on champers for Cactus's next visit.

BIG GIRLS WIN WAR ON TIT TAX

Women all over Britain have been outraged after Marks and Spencer started charging an extra two quid for bras with DD cups and over.

We have huge sympathy with these women
<---- Not BB.
Silly buggers - pommie queen size women obviously weren't going to take that sort of sizeist nonsense lying down.

Based on my humble experience with pommie men - ( married one once ) they are a nation of tit men so this campaign garnered some nationwide support quicker than a 15 year old boy could ping a bra strap.

Marks and Sparks reckoned it cost extra to make DD cup over the shoulder boulder holders.Crap said the "big breasted don't mess with us" team. They weren't being charged for big sized clothing so the argument appeared as realistic as Pamela Andersons left one.

So more than 8000 signing up to support a Facebook campaign run by Busts 4 Justice, which branded the extra charge for bigger bras an "unfair tit-tax".

National newspapers joined their cause, attacking M&S over its pricing policy and recruiting all sorts of voluptuous celebrities to comment on how unfair they thought it was.

The mass market Daily Mail began offering discount M&S vouchers so its readers wouldn't have to fork out any extra for larger size bras.

The Sun tabloid, famous for its Page 3 topless models, also urged M&S: "Hands off our boobs".

Finally after days of controversy - and bucketloads of negative publicity for M&S - the retailer's dapper chief executive Sir Stuart Rose backed down and announced an end to the bigger bra cost with the simple admission: "We boobed."

Yip we agree they made right tits of themselves.

BRA BURNING

I did a real dumb thing today . Rushed into the Farmers 50% off lingerie sale and grabbed two bras without giving them a trial run. One was an "increase the cleavage number" and the other was a mechanical marvel designed to deal with weighty issues and gravity's foul deeds and "minimise me."Hell, I thought only surgery could do that but I was willing to give it a whirl.

You know you are in trouble and need to lose some weight when the shop girl gives you a bag that would hold a beer fridge, to carry two bras out of the shop.

The Cleavage number first - its white and shocking pink - and considering my advancing years, 50 is creeping up the back stairs, we are now more suited to mauve, beige and the occasional saucy black, it was definitely an impulse buy.

I got home wondering why people had been giving me quizzical looks wandering down Manners Mall - I found out when I bent down to get the key to the door and nearly sent a broken underwire up my left nostril. There was no doubt in my nose that I needed new support.

I stripped off and held the the shocking pink padded titty hammocks aloft and swung them on. I stopped breathing - true! My boobies were pushed so far up they were nuzzling my bruised nostrils. I let down the straps to see if that would help and I swear I heard my titskies sigh. The cleavage was so deep and long that it rivalled the Manawatu gorge.

I took the pinkie pouches off and I swear again that my mammaries did a little jiggle of their own volition in celebration of being free.

I wondered if I could strap it to the new shed and grow plants in it.

So onto the second. I leaned over, as they old bra fitting bitches of my traumatised past taught me and hiffed it on. In a mammary moment I realised why the "minimiser" was on sale. My bountiful breasts rested somewhere between my armpits and my shoulder blades. I tried to swing them into position but nearly knocked myself out. They just schlurped back under my arms so that I looked like I had a footy ball under each wing and a chest as flat as the paddock the game is played on.

I wrestled it off - the cups are too flaccid to provide the support needed for wall planters but I reckon, at a pinch, I can strain the jelly jam through them.

Anyway I am demoralised - $64 ( the price of a bowl of crayfish bisque at Zicos and a lovely bottle of soave ) wasted.

And for the record the picture is not me - silly boys, she is clearly a FF cup.

So if anyone would like the offending 18DD unused pink plant hanger and the jelly jam strainers - email me - I will post em for free.