EXCELLENT SERVICE FROM KIWIRAIL

We were feeling very stupid yesterday - somewhere in the meelee of the day we managed to flip our monthly train pass out of our purse and lose it. We didn't realise we had lost it till we went to retrieve it from our purse on the 4.30 train.

It is $390 and we are only a third of the way thru the month so it was shaping up to be a costly loss.

We had written our name and phone number on the pass so the conductors say they will be keeping an eye out on anyone trying to use my old pass if it comes to light.

The conductors told us what to do to get a new pass.

Firstly check if it was handed in. No it wasn't.

Secondly report the theft to the police - we did - an hour later and we had done that.

Thirdly the decision on a refund required proof of purchase - in this case our darling partner came in handy as he had the reciept and the bank statement and finally a copy of the police file number had to be sent to the retail manager of Kiwirail.

We had his contact details from one of the Kiwirail staff and texted him first.

Then we emailed him when we had all our details sorted.

We had our replacement pass to pick up by about 2pm this afternoon.

Two things did surprise us - the need to get a police statement - but I suppose that is to deter any fraudulent claims. And secondly - I would have been happy to pay - say $25 for the time of the Kiwirail staff to issue a new pass.

So "big ups" to Kiwirail and the conductors who happily guided us through the process.

LONG TRAIN RUNNING

There is an extra carriage on the Wairarapa 4.30. and the carriages are air conditioned and everyone has a seat.

Is this a new policy? We will check it out.

CHOO CHOO TRAIN DRIVER NEEDS A WEE MOE

Metlink's service is getting crappier by the day. However the 12.55 pm on a Friday is particularly prone to delays. the train arrives on the platform and the passengers get out and then it seems to sit on the platform for a while and then another engine gets hooked up and it sits there for a while more, while people are standing there are freezing their asses off . Then it backs up and lets the people on. Today it went away .. and didnt come back till around 1.10. However the Metlink info service was still telling everyone right up to 1pm that all was okay.

Then, wait for this, we had wait because the bloody driver felt he needed a break. So it was half an hour late.

What a bloody shame that some of the wank arsed employment laws werent given a quick tidy up on the back of the Hobbit employment law changes.

Some of the train drivers and many of the conductors are crap. But the good ones are great.

What really gets us is the fact that there are many tourists on this train. Its a really bad look for our tourism industry that this service is so bloody unreliable and below par.

WE ARE BACCCCK

And it appears some " mates have taken some liberties with Roarpawn... while we have been away indulging our primal need to kill little  fluffy chicks in a culturally appropriate way.   Be rest assured there will be no more crappy posts about Global warming...   

So while we have been away......  we understand that Hooton has been extending his business empire, Cactus has been shagging, Farrar has been - well we can only guess .... 

It seems Greece went belly up and  the arse fell out of Wall Street as well . 

 bugger all else happened apart from Southland getting a drenching. Mind you we only heard the news once a day  and that was Mary  - vinegar tits Wilson... on RNZ.    Seems it was the only time that we could get any reception at all. It was torture.

What we want to know is she rude to all people or does she save a special dose of her venom for those    who stutter? 

Her interview of Kiwirail Chief executive Jim  Quinn was deplorable.

MONDAY HUMOUR

Now we dont expect to get a belly laugh from the NBR but boy did they deliver one this morning. We are getting way too old and we haven't done our Kegel exercises for a few weeks so we were caught unawares.

So the funny?

That Simpson Grierson and Russell McVeigh are getting plaudits for doing the deal of the year.

That deal was Kiwirail - and no they weren't working for the Government, silly. They were working for Toll.

Yip we agree it was the deal of the year.

It should be called the "Rogering the other party with a kina tied to a stick and getting them to say they loved it" award.

Funny as fuck it is, funny as fuck.

OF TRAINS AND WANKERS

Me and the Aussie Rock are weekend warriors. On Friday nite its off on the train to Masterton - to pick up the jalopy and then the bliss of 10 acres of rural paradise up the Rangitumau Valley where we camp in a shed that will one day be our house.

Anyway we quite like the train. Its pretty comfy and you if you get to the station early enough you can get a seat with a table and a power plug - in fact all seats have at least one power plug. So its a blogger delight - you can plug in juice up the wireless card and write for an hour and a half or work f needs must.

So its a bloody hot day here in Masterton and we arrive early. This grumpy curmudgeonly old train conductor - with a pommy accent was on the platform - looking - well shitty. Anyway I had my lap top and my backpack. normally I shove my backpack in the racks above and the lap top bag under my feet.

Anyway he barked at me and said that all my luggage would have to go into the back of the train.
I told him that my lap top would stick with me. He said that he was " just enforcing the rules and luggage had to go in the back. Now this is about my 15th train trip and the first time I have had this problem.

So off I went and duly put my little backpack down the back of the train.

Now all of this would have been fine but guess what ? I have counted at least 3 big bags and 15 back packs in the this carriage alone. I can tolerate rules - its inconsistency, and officious wankers I don't like.

And while I am at it the air conditioning needs sorted . Its doesn't work.

However it is a very pretty trainride and for $15 bucks one way - v good value.