TELECOM = FALSE PROMISES

We got a call last night from someone whom we think probably lives in Manila ,saying she was from Telecom and wanted to talk about a good deal on my Cellphone plan.

Anyway after a quick scan of my account she declared she could replace my current plan with its monthly usage which sets us back about $200 a month for another plan that would cost $90 a month on the new XT network and i would get a new free phone.

Cool , I said a free phone! I had been thinking about upgrading my blackberry. Oh dear she said sorry I could have any other phone but a blackberry...

I told her she had just lied to me as she had said i could have a free phone..

After a while I got sick of the too-ing and fro-ing that was going nowhere and said that I wanted her to email me with the details and the offer she had given me over the phone.

I have yet to see a thing but then again Telecom was probably a bit busy today..

And the reason we have to stick with Telecom is simply because of coverage.

Otherwise we would have ditched them years ago.

Bastards they are - bastards.

INDGLISH

This just in....

Our communications roundsman, Telephone Prawn, has finally cooled down long enough to record his experiences for readers.

Seems Telephone is a phone fanatic and lives with his trusty cellphone. But he is old, and quite slow, and can’t really tote a telephone directory (and they get wet.)

So, he uses (endlessly) the telecom 018 assistance service.

It was a great marriage. He “paid 50 cents, plus any applicable telecom call charges” and got straight to his target.

But that changed!

Some months ago he phoned for: Parliament Buildings, Wellington. A polite Eastern lady told him that there was no such number in the Wellington directory. He insisted that she check again and she replied: “Here it is, do you mean Paramatta Building Supplies?

He then phoned a direct line to a Minister’s office and got the number.

Last week he phoned for: “The Wellington office of Lion Nathan.” An equally polite woman said there is no such listing!

Then last night: “A Paraparaumu number for G. and M. Duncan. Miss Polite gave some examples – nothing like the request! Telephone Prawn lost his cool and after a one sided screaming match, Miss Polite put him through……..through to another exchange with English being the main language. The call went straight through.

We believe Telecom has a bloody lot of questions to answer:

• Are they running a key service from offshore;
• If they aren’t why not get a foolproof computer system to search;
• Don’t we have a government-imposed employment target for NZ residents;
• How angry must a caller get before he gets a “native” resident;
• Has the service run down through the patently poor service?

And if you think thats bad, Lambcut rang 018 to find the number for a restaurant for a very important tussock jumper who was looking for a flash nosebag joint while visiting Wellington recently...

She suggested the Whitehouse on Oriental Parade
He said book it..

She rings 018 - and asks for the WhiteHouse Oriental Parade Wellington..
The call centre bunny ,after a lengthy search, says there is no such joint.
Lambcut very slowly says I want the Whitehouse - Oriental Parade -Wellington

Ohh says the eager Call centre Bunny again - THE WHITEHOUSE in Washington USA???

At that point Lambcut gave up...