CREEP OF THE WEEK

So the gremlin of Paretai Drive reckons he cant afford to live on $1000 a week? Whatever.

Time to make do. Muriel Newman put out an excellent book on budgeting a few years back.

And here are some handy hints on how to live on $1000 a week.

• Make your own brekky, lunch and dinner.
• Clean your own toilet.
• Do the dishes by hand .
• Turn off the spa pool.
• Shop at Pak and Save
• Take the bus.
• Sell all the clothes you dont wear on Trademe - in fact any spare stuff - like breitling watches, your missus sparklers, would be good.
• Get your missus to dye her own hair at home.
• You could do her brazilian and pluck her chin hairs.
• shampoo the dog your self.

Thats just a few for starters..

SECURITIES COMMISSION NEEDLED BY CACTUS

Cactus has yet again shown her literary genius.

While her piss take of the Hanover issue is outstanding , we think that Hanover are a complete bunch of greedy and immoral pricks and they deserve everything that the Securities Commission can chuck at them - even if it does take a while.

Cactus is none too kind on the legal profession either.

If you read nothing else today - read Cactus's letter from Chaos and Mayhem. The legal firm everyone would really like to hire.

TA TIPENE BACK AT THE TABLE BUT CHOKING ON HANOVER PIE?

There is a very good chance that Sir Tip is going to sitting round the big tribal Te Runanga O Ngai Tahu table again as the alternate delegate for the Awarua Runanga.

We are a bit gobsmacked that the southern cuzzies have not thought through the whole succession planning issue. Maria Pera has been at the table pretty much since the Te Runanga O Ngai Tahu was formed. However our understanding is that the Bluff runanga wanted some fresh meat and looked for a new face as an alternate delegate whom Maria could train up to take over. Instead they got some really old sinewy tough as an old boot over done mutton chop. However, despite Mark Solomon being Tipenes protege, they no longer share a deep affection for each other, so Tipene's occasional presence at the table wont do Mark any favours.

We also think that with todays announcement that Mark Hotchin of Hanover fame has had his assets frozen, that Tipene will be a little distracted. He was apparently the chair of the Hanover audit committee.

Watch that space.