GIVE A PENGY A CHANCE

Our mates in the VRWC have been joshing with us all day. There have been about 1200 birds killed by the RENA oil slick. Our mates argue that while it seems a lot its not big in the scheme of things. Maybe they are right - they normally are. However we do  think that DOC needs a big thumbs up for co-ordinating the effort to save the pandas of NZ bird world  - The Dotterel. Its a sisyphean task that requires passion and dogged determination in the face of insurmountable odds.

They are funny wee birds that hide on the shore line and put their nests in the silliest of places. The go for bloody miles to find a feed and when the chips are down they will abandon their chicks and its not like they have a big brood - nope they only have a couple  or three at best. 

In essence they wiggled their fluffy arses just enough to make a wee indent in the sand and squeeze out a couple or three bumnuts. But just above the high tide zone is the equivalent of gang riven  Farmers Crescent.  Its hell out there.  All manner of predators  lurk there from skua, stoats and the heavy feet of hairy legged trampers. So what happens if the eggs or chicks get killed? Well the dotterels are persistent - they go and wiggle there wee botties and do it all over again.

So they are as succesful as parents as Sonny Bill Williams would be at trying to maintain a hard on in a locked room with only Helen Clark for company.

We reckon Dotterel  are  winged Pandas because despite the fact that they are deliriously cute, these little feathered moths  that flit almost undetectable on the sandy shore line - need human support to exist. So New Zealand, is  in essence, providing state support for the useless dotterel parents. What do NZ'ers get in return? bugger all as you cant see the wee buggers as they only thing they are much good at is camouflage.  However they would stick out like the balls on a St Bernard against the oil stained sand. 

You see our mates reckon that we have  had a far greater impact on the country's bird population - killing over 40,000 muttonbirds singletoothedly over our lifetime. That is very true. We are of course very old  so its taken nearly half a century to reach that figure. So while we have dispatched a lot of oily birds to eat  - the  RENA's oily slick  hasn't really eaten a lot of birds. 

However, we think that what is really worth saving is the little blue penguin.. The wee pengys never fail to raise a smile either on land or at sea. Gentle wee buggers  - efficient hunters and good mums and dads.  And they apparently taste like crap. 

We like that in a bird.

and what is our favourite Seabird? This one of course-  

The Mollymawk 

There is nothing that comes close to the grace of these birds and their amazing faces. 

They are welcome to come steal my fish anytime. 

ALL BLACKS - WILL THEY DO IT ?

After 2night it looks like they might.

SBW - BENEFICIARY BASHER?

We blogged on the stories we had been hearing about Sonny Bill Williams sickly opponent a few days ago. Alipate Liava'a is under investigation for benefit fraud after it was revealed that he was on a benefit for a tennis elbow which prevented him from working but did not prevent him from boxing.

We also think this incident has ramifications for Sonny Bill. This was a charity match but SBW is a brand and its not good for a brand to be tainted in any way and the revelation that his overweight and by boxing standards - elderly opponent, is on a benefit is opening him up to all sort of ridicule.

The big fight is nothing less than whopper boy SBW fighting a sifty cripple.

His handlers and promoters need sacked.

Although Mikey over at Alphabetasports sees it differently.

New Zealanders have had enough of people ripping off the benefit system. Bring on the Welfare changes. There is little enough money to go around as it is these days and we would far rather it goes to people who are really in need instead of those who make a mockery of the system.

SONNY BILL TO FIGHT A SICKNESS BENEFICIARY??

Well thats the story we keep hearing.. Man has tennis elbow apparently... So if you cant work - how can you fight?

Are people really going to spend good money to see a sham fight?

Or is SBW gonna fight with one arm behind his back to make it a fair fight like..

Can a journo pop the question to the crooning bruiser?

Actually we think that there is only one real opponent for SBW - thats Whale our own adored blogging cyco.

He's been trying to get Mallard to front him in the ring but lets face it if SBW's opponent is really on the bene then he's gonna have to find a new sparring partner real fast and Whale looks the ticket.

SONNY BILL IS HOT

OK We admit to being old and fat but we can still lust. And this boy was designed to evoke lust even in the oldest and tiredest of tarts.

SONNY BILL -HARD CORE FREE PORN?

Well, I for one think that Sonny Bill Williams is an extremely tasty boy - especially when he has his jumper off. Cactus has a thing for the gormless looking Ronaldo- a taste for the exotic perhaps - Actually,
Ronaldo looks like a poofter. Not sure why Cactus would like a pooftery looking soccer player but there you have it. In contrast, we the Brunette - prefer our meat and vege without too much spice. Just like Sonny. Nicely browned, firm to the touch and all juicy in the middle - like a good piece of Sirloin.

And it warms the cockles of your heart to think that he chucked away a small fortune just to play for his country.

He is his own man and he is following his dream instead of the dreams and aspirations of others. And he loves his mum. That's really nice.

So we can't wait until he takes to the paddock again - we may even return to attending some games just to see him in action.

And we would pay serious money to see him go a few rounds in the ring as well.

Sonny - you good thing - welcome home...