HORSESHIT AND BIODYNAMICS

A few weeks ago when the International Big Oil was in town a few media politeratti and cliteratti gathered for a bit of a catch up.

There was good wine to be had.  Lots of it - we were buying and sharing our favourites with  others . 

A well known media personality presented us with a new wine.  

It was cloudy and sorry boys - but it was the colour of a mucky period.. 

A diseased ruby color. 

We all sniffed inquisitively and as I cast my eyes around the table it was clear that this was not an ephiphanistic drop. 

We sipped but our palates were in obvious agreement - it was not a great wine. 

The purchaser of this bemusing wine was aghast - "Its bio dynamic! " he exclaimed 

Moments like these are always dangerous for us sheilas of advancing years and bladder valves worn by too many evenings on the hops as a young un. 

We were characteristically blunt. "Its crap." 

Others murmured in agreement . To be fair some thought it was okay  - drinkable at a pinch - " A quaffer " someone proffered.

Then the buyee of the bottle thundered  "Its $245.. "

About $10 bucks worth shot out the left side on my mouth. 

A mate lost control of her muscles and spilt a $20 bucks on the table as she jerked in reaction to the revelation. 

Then we proceeded to take the piss out of the plonk. It was universally declared ordinary. 

Bio dynamics is a wonderful marketing ploy by the organic lobby. Medieval mysticism gone moderne. 

Now I grow a few veges  and we have cows and sheep a horse and chooks and as everyone knows manure is good for you. I use it extensively  and the results are glorious. Use lots of manure and you get robust, lush fecund fauna. 

 However playing in shit filling up horns cos they are the seemingly magical   "fertile" bit of the bovine and burying them to mature the said crap  is just frikking daft. 

Doing it in time with the moon and sun indicates that the believers have been exposed to too many solar flares. 

Now in this video  up on the Seresin Wine Site (which I think has some of the finest wine in the world) is an example of  how this pseudo science is being peddled. 

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/forejgHXqD4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen>iframe>

Some cute guy  playing with poo somehow seems romantic when the dreamy scenes are linked to lush vineyards. 

He looks like some agrarian Merlin piling the poop into horns for it to mature in the earth to wait a while for it to turn into plant superfood. 

The simple fact is - if you line up a biodynamic vineyard and one that uses natural fertilisers like manure broken down in the old fashioned way, the results would be the same. 

Its not the moon or the sun or the "fertile horn"  or even the steadfast belief of the cute guy that's creating good wine. Its a modern myth. 

Its simply that shit is the biz when it comes to making things grow. 

And its time that this weird wine wankery was unmasked for what it is  - bollocks. 

Some biodynamic wine will be good in spite of the all the jiggery pokery .  Because shit is good for the soil.  But all the biodynamic ritual adds no value

The shit is where its at. 

So to all you good wine makers out there - stop taking the piss - us good wine drinkers deserve more respect .

Their is truth in the vine - tell it. 

WINNIE TELLING PORKIES

Winston has been using his blog to explain that he doesn put up lots of billboard because they get vandalised. He is right, they do, because everyone thinks he is lying tosser but the other reason we hear is, that his campaign team in Tauranga has collapsed.

Muck files - deep and dirty shite

Oh hell if it is gonna get rough the Blonde and the other Growlers ( Get Rid Of Winston and Labour ) soldiers will the be last standing - we have piles of poop!



from the Hive and talk of Neutron Bombs

Not content with riddles, Whaleoil is now onto neutron bombs.This all seems pretty old hat to me, though the version being relayed seems to be a merging of two stories/speculations and combining them into one.If it is true that Labour are about to associate themselves with this rumour, then we wish them great luck. We can't see how it can help them at all. No doubt Brent Edwards will try and make a big thing of it.We thought that this election was all about trust, not about muck. But if they want to start throwing muck then it will be very interesting to see where the much settles. Just off to open our muck files. Some of our stuff is REALLY good.
Posted by Queen Bee at 2:24 PM

And from the Whale


Labour are desperate, you can almost smell the fear and you can certainly see it in their actions, words, and planning.
Helen Clark has this morning told us she doesn’t believe in fairies or in opinion polls that have National above 50%. One thing is for sure, the tooth fairy sure as hell doesn’t exist for her.
Labour and the left have a general meme that National can’t get 50% because nowhere else in the world with MMP has anyone ever got more than 50%. Than of course doesn’t mean it can’t or won’t happen it just means that it hasn’t happened yet. it may well yet happen, but that is up to the people.
Meanwhile as the polls confirm national has more than 50% support from the electorate, and that is more than 50 polls btw, Labour is getting ready to drop its “neutron bomb”. For months in the house they have alluded to it, now with the paarlous state of the polls that Clark doesn’t believe in they are set to launch.



Bring on the bomb we say - go on Bring. It. On!

The VRWC is ready to chuck and biff and tell stuff!