HORSESHIT AND BIODYNAMICS

A few weeks ago when the International Big Oil was in town a few media politeratti and cliteratti gathered for a bit of a catch up.

There was good wine to be had.  Lots of it - we were buying and sharing our favourites with  others . 

A well known media personality presented us with a new wine.  

It was cloudy and sorry boys - but it was the colour of a mucky period.. 

A diseased ruby color. 

We all sniffed inquisitively and as I cast my eyes around the table it was clear that this was not an ephiphanistic drop. 

We sipped but our palates were in obvious agreement - it was not a great wine. 

The purchaser of this bemusing wine was aghast - "Its bio dynamic! " he exclaimed 

Moments like these are always dangerous for us sheilas of advancing years and bladder valves worn by too many evenings on the hops as a young un. 

We were characteristically blunt. "Its crap." 

Others murmured in agreement . To be fair some thought it was okay  - drinkable at a pinch - " A quaffer " someone proffered.

Then the buyee of the bottle thundered  "Its $245.. "

About $10 bucks worth shot out the left side on my mouth. 

A mate lost control of her muscles and spilt a $20 bucks on the table as she jerked in reaction to the revelation. 

Then we proceeded to take the piss out of the plonk. It was universally declared ordinary. 

Bio dynamics is a wonderful marketing ploy by the organic lobby. Medieval mysticism gone moderne. 

Now I grow a few veges  and we have cows and sheep a horse and chooks and as everyone knows manure is good for you. I use it extensively  and the results are glorious. Use lots of manure and you get robust, lush fecund fauna. 

 However playing in shit filling up horns cos they are the seemingly magical   "fertile" bit of the bovine and burying them to mature the said crap  is just frikking daft. 

Doing it in time with the moon and sun indicates that the believers have been exposed to too many solar flares. 

Now in this video  up on the Seresin Wine Site (which I think has some of the finest wine in the world) is an example of  how this pseudo science is being peddled. 

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Some cute guy  playing with poo somehow seems romantic when the dreamy scenes are linked to lush vineyards. 

He looks like some agrarian Merlin piling the poop into horns for it to mature in the earth to wait a while for it to turn into plant superfood. 

The simple fact is - if you line up a biodynamic vineyard and one that uses natural fertilisers like manure broken down in the old fashioned way, the results would be the same. 

Its not the moon or the sun or the "fertile horn"  or even the steadfast belief of the cute guy that's creating good wine. Its a modern myth. 

Its simply that shit is the biz when it comes to making things grow. 

And its time that this weird wine wankery was unmasked for what it is  - bollocks. 

Some biodynamic wine will be good in spite of the all the jiggery pokery .  Because shit is good for the soil.  But all the biodynamic ritual adds no value

The shit is where its at. 

So to all you good wine makers out there - stop taking the piss - us good wine drinkers deserve more respect .

Their is truth in the vine - tell it. 

AND THEREIN LIES THE TRUTH

We still think that Climate Change is a load of tosh. And we fervently believe that the only true beneficiaries of an Emissions Trading Scheme will be the margin traders..

So here is a simple lesson why we have been hoodwinked.

ETS Slides

A RING OF CONFIDENCE

We are not - nor will be unquestioning believers in Global warming. We have seen the world wake up to the obvious manipulation of some of the core science of climate change in recent weeks. Now this.

Coming to light in recent days has been one of the most extraordinary scientific detective stories of our time, bizarrely centred on a single tree in Siberia dubbed "the most influential tree in the world". On this astonishing tale, it is no exaggeration to say, could hang in considerable part the future shape of our civilisation. Right at the heart of the sound and fury of "Climategate" – the emails leaked from the Climatic Research Unit (CRU) in East Anglia – is one story of scientific chicanery, overlooked by the media, whose implications dwarf all the rest. If all those thousands of emails and other documents were leaked by an angry whistle-blower, as now seems likely, it was this story more than any other that he or she wanted the world to see.

Now we not skilled in any area of science however we can read and this article in the Daily Telegraph makes for very compelling reading...

Seems the whole debate could rest in the rings of a tree...

BRING ON THE GIN

We now have enough ice. The revelation will have all the Climate change doomsayers sweating. Research budgets will be cut. Lecture tours will be cancelled, DVD's of Al Gores diatribe will end up in the bargain bin.

Why ??? Well you see the Antarctic Ice is actually growing. Sure, in one area is has decreased but there has been a net gain, in effect -more ice. That simple fact fundamentally fucks up the climate change, "the sky is falling" dorks.

We hope to see more stories on this issue. Countries around the world are making serious life changing policy, based on what is a big load of bollocks.
It is important that we slow down any legislative change that will impact negatively on our economy for no good reason.

BLUE SKIES SHINING ON ME

If anyone doubted that climate change was a lot of hot air, how about this latest nonsense from the Ministry for the Environment.
Because of a recent drought (ie, because it got hotter) New Zealand’s agriculture production fell and so we have again met our Kyoto obligations!

In other words, when it gets hotter, New Zealand obeys the rules! So climate change is the solution to our Kyoto deficit! When is someone going to call time on all this crap? A drought does far more to reduce emissions than any ETS, carbon tax or other Kyoto bullshit.

THIS IS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE

Its amazing what people get money to investigate.

And the study is not really large enough to be of much import either.




This in the Herald
A woman raises the pitch of her voice during her most fertile period of the month in an unconscious boost to her femininity, according to a study in the British journal Biology Letters.
A pair of scientists at the University of California in Los Angeles asked 69 women to make voice recordings when they were at high and low fertility points in their menstrual cycle.
The closer a woman was to ovulation, the more she raised her pitch, the investigators found.
The increase in tone was slight, but enough to be picked up by the voice decoder and presumably by the male ear as well.