WE WON WE WON WE WON!!!!!

Southland has taken the Ranfurly Shield off Canterbury! Well thats a bloody turn up.. We are proud.!!!! Woohooo!!!! Take that red and black...

Go the Stags!

Update : We have been to a few shield games but this is the first time in 50 years Southland have taken home the Log O Wood.

She's gonna be a big night in the garden city...

Score was 9=3

WHY KAKAPO WONT SURVIVE

We always reckoned that despite the fact that Kakapo are very cool. they are very very dumb. To the point of being mentally retarded.

So it is no surprise that they have become famous for shaggin the head of a scientist. We remember when, down south they were famous because instead of shagging each other, they loved shagging a dead muttonbird..

They dont move much either, they only eat one sort of tucker and they must taste bloody fantastic. Which has limited there chances of long term survival. Easy to catch, flightless and tasty.

We have been fortunate to see them and touch them, and they really are the feathered embodiedment of true innocence. But they made our Maori genes fire up and we dribbled on contact...

RULES FOR NORTH ISLANDERS

FOR NORTH ISLANDERS

Rules for visiting the South Island are as follows:

1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a Ute

because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust

on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. They smell like

money to us. Get over it. Don't like it ? SH1 goes north, find it and

F%&$# off

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000

Harvesters that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

6. Every person in the South waves. It's called being friendly. Try to

understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/quail

are comin' in during the season, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You

better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and duck. You really want sushi and

caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of duck season. It's a religious

holiday , we will observe it !.

10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age.

11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you

can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.

12. When we set a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables

and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and Watties Tomato sauce!

Oh, yeah We don't care what you folks in Ponsonby call that stuff you eat

... .

IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served

over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know

how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

14. College and High School Rugby is as important here as the All

Blacks, the Highlanders and the Crusaders and a heap more fun to watch.

15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it

spooks the fish.

16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump cr @ p ain't

music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your

boxers! Refer back to #1!