BALLSY

We are going to buy some of these , golf balls with Tigers manky shags,
( they do not qualify as mistresses) faces plastered on them.

Brilliant.

So why aren't they mistresses? They had no status, no cars, no condos, nos jewellery, no flowers, no kids, no brains , no class.

He just liked dirty girls.
Simple Dimple.

We reckon that these could be a good political fundraiser. Put the faces of the opposition MP's on the balls and hit away..

BUSTED BUSTED

SIGH.......

BEST NEWS OF THE DAY

Tau Henare is gonna kick the cancer sticks. Woohoo!!!

We have to fess up - we publicly gave him arseholes about what a bad role model he was when we spied him puffing up large like some lurking gangsta outside Bowen House one day
Here's what we said at the time:

"And today, to top it all off we saw him standing outside Bowen House looking all belligerent.

But that's not the thing that really pissed us off. No - he was smoking. Looking like a Pall Mall pin up boy. . Having a fag where everyone could see him. Engaging in the one foul practice that kills more of his kin than anything else.

Maori seats on Auckland Super City will not save the lives of any Maori but good role models that kids can look up to , will go a long way from dissuading a generation of impressionable tamariki from taking up the habit that will shorten their life span.

Shame on you Tau, get your shit together and be the man that everyone can admire. Do something for yourself and you will do something good for your people that will make a difference."

And today on Facebook he says he started to smoke last Waitangi Day and he aims to start the journey to being smoke free this Waitangi Day.

He had this to say on Facebook.

"Well, Last Waitangi Day I started smoking again after being off the bloody things for 2 1/2 years. This Waitangi day I am going off them again for good (90% sure) Im doing it for several reasons, 1.Because I really hate smoking, 2. Solidarity with the Maori Affairs Select Committee inquiry into Tobacco use by Maori and its effects on us and the nation ( cant have the chairman being a smoker ), 3. Maybe we can have a smokefree nation by 2020 ( Ill be 60 ). I know its going to be extremely hard but I thought I would use facebook to update you all on a daily basis about how its all going. If anyone else out there in FB land wants to join in, come on in. As roarprawn said once upon a time, polys are role models whether we like it or not. So lets do it on Waitangi Day and Ill keep you all infromed of how Im getting on and Maybe by the time Waitangi day 2011 comes around there will be at least 1000 of us FBs off the tobacco."

We are pleased that our wee rark up helped him make the decision to give up. We have always thought that Tau could be an inspiring role model.. Looks like he is off to a great start on that journey as well. and I know that he will have the support of all my mates in Anti Tobacco land. Even a few in Pro - Tobacco land.
And if Tau can get 1000 Maori to give up smoking in one year then he wont just be a role model he will be a hero . Kia Kaha - go you good thing!

LOOKS LIKE A KURI BARKS LIKE A KURI

We were alerted to two documents that have been leaked to the Tangata Whenua.com website that show that the Foreshore and Seabed issue is in trouble.

The first we understand, is an early draft of an "alternative proposal" to the Foreshore and Seabed Act.

Its custodians are apparently the Iwi Leaders Forum.

The second is rebuttal, and although the language is a bit intemperate the premise and analysis is sound.

The " Alternative proposal" is a ( kuri ) dog .. for these reasons.

Its shows a scant understanding of property rights or commerce.

And it shows an even scanter understanding of tikanga.

It proffers a solution that is all about status – that will piss Pakeha off – but offer no real legal or commercial benefit for Maori.

The cock up with the Foreshore and Seabed act was that it did not recognise property rights or due process.

As a nation we need not fear ownership of small bits of the Foreshore and Seabed by Maori - indeed we should embrace it. With rights come responsibilities.

Instead this document is a wishy washy salve to political objectives ( note it even refers to " feel good" factors) and not a rights based approach.

What New Zealanders want is something that is fair and legally robust.

While the Iwi Leaders Forum denotes a group with mana and intellect this paper is a simplistic attempt to take more than can be morally justified but less than that which might be legally justified

It trades off the tiny bit of the foreshore Ngati Apa may have been able to get, in exchange for a nebulous bit of feel-good nonsense around the whole South Island coast line .

The fact of the matter is that there is no simplistic feel good national solution to this problem – it has to be based on the law and due process iwi by iwi

The paper was apparently written by controversial Maori strategist and influencer Sacha McMeeking.

If so we wonder how much she was paid for it?

simplistic solution to complex issue

takedown

BEST TRAVEL TIPS EVER..

One of the BOIL's best mates( and now a good one of ours) did the swanning around Europe having a good time thing recently... she did a blog, which sadly we have only just caught up on, called psudonim

she has some great travel tips... like .....


• You can ask any price for anything some idiot will pay

• Shoving a snake in someone’s face doesn’t mean you will get some action

• Sensible shoes and cobblestones are not necessarily a match made in heaven

• It’s ok to be called an Australian if the only other alternative is American

• Drinking plenty of bottled water in hot countries is only good when you know you will find a bathroom

• Shopping can be a hobby

• If you plan to stow away under a bus don’t wear your good shoes

• Trying the local wine is not always the a good option

• It’s important to give back, massages and manicures help the local economy

• If a taxi driver grunts when your luggage is tossed in the boot it will cost you

• Marcus Brutus and Marcus Aurelias lived 300 years apart

• Don’t believe everything the tour guide tells you

The rest are here - its a bloody fantastic read.....

FLATMATES

We are delighted Judith has delivered on her promise to house inmates in sturdy shipping containers.

We would like to see Corrections put Clayton Weatherston and William Bell together...

And how about .... Philip Field and Nai Yin Xue

and maybe Mary Ann Thompson and Stephen Versalko

So any other suggestions for suitable roomies in the new container cells?

SQUIGGLES

Well , well what have we here?

One of these things is just like the other ....


Heres Telecoms new squiggly star


















And heres the New Dowse Lower Hutt Art Gallery one...

Art for Arts sake - money for jam?

So what we want to know - was it the same agency that designed both??? Surely not..

WELLINGTON SECRETS

Today we went for a stroll down the waterfront that took up past Frank Kitts lagoon. It holds one of Wellingtons secrets. Its the time of the year where the stingray come in and graze on the sea bottom made lush with the increased water temperature.

What you see on a clear day is an underwater ballet that will take your breath away.

SOUTHLAND SECRETS

Jasons travel publishers have issues up a challenge to all Southlanders - share your secrets. Seems that today's travellers look for the uniqueness in destinations. Couldn't agree more. A recent tour to the outbacks took us to some pretty cool places but it was the intrinsic uniqueness of specific towns that people really looked for.

So here's ten things that we know about Southland we think are cool.

There are the remains of an old whaling base in Paterson Inlet on Stewart Island.















The sun always shines on the old neck beach in Paterson Inlet.

There is a smugglers cove in Pegasus Inlet that you can only find if you know where to look.

There is a shag breeding colony in a roadside swamp between Riverton and Orepuki.

The reservoir at Bluff has the biggest fresh water crayfish ( koura) aka crawlies you ever did see.

The best cheese rolls ( and coffee ) in Southland are at Zookeepers.



















The mouth of the Eglington on Lake Te Anau as the sun goes down is so breathtaking it will make you cry.
















Ruapuke mutton is the best in the world because the sheep sometimes graze on salt loving plants.


The Dunsdale Picnic ground inthe Hokonuis is one of the best in the world.


and the 10th?















Smallcraft inlet next to Port Pegasus where the Sealions play in the old forest...

FRAN O'SULLIVAN

We have to confess, Fran is a mate. We like her solid, no nonsense approach and the way her moral compass is set. If we had stayed in the media we would have been more than happy to be half the journalist she is.

Now these days we listen to Sean Plunket and Geoff Robinson first thing on RNZ and that's about it. We are too busy to listen during the day.
However we have been alerted to this -click here . Fran O'Sullivan gave a great commentary, lucid, a touch of humour and topical with some insight for the plebs.

Dam good radio it is - So why is it that RNZ still persists with the dry as toast Rod Orum who's very tone is the best sleep pill anyone could ask for? Rod Orum's style is British boring and he has none of the contacts or insights wit or wisdom of O'Sullivan. Everything his says shrieks lefty bias.

Fran, on the other hand, has no problem dishing out a cuff around the ear to business and political leaders across the spectrum, if she thinks they warrant it. She isn't feared but she is respected.

And thats what RNZ commentary needs - a lack of bias and and some steely resolve.

So we reckon its time for a change of gear and that O'Sullivan should be awarded a regular spot on the state broadcaster. Makes good sense and very good radio.

SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW

We saw this story a couple of days ago and the mouth watering thought of pigeon stew tonight reminded us of the other big foodie opportunity that we are missing.

Sanfords Eric Barratt says its time to lift the commercial ban on trout fishing and he is very right.

As New Zealanders we have this odd habit of doing little to protect our native species but bend over backward in the name of sport to protect introduced species like trout, salmon, Canada geese and mallard ducks. We find it strange that we are not able to harvest the young mallard flappers in the creek bordering our property in what would be a targeted sustained way. We would be happy to register the numbers we caught as well. Similar to fish management. If you know what level of harvest the population can sustain then there should be no restrictions on how you harvest them.

We digress , back to Trout farming - its simply logical and smart and will provide us with another export stream. The fears of disease are unfounded. Wild trout would still be the domain of the gun nuts so there would be no harm to that "industry" either. And it would also see trout served as a dish at top restaurants. And sea run trout will be much better eating than their cousins in muddy creeks. There is often very little difference in the taste of a sea run trout and salmon.

This is not a new idea from Eric, he has been pushing this issue for years and rightly so. He is a big fish in the NZ aquaculture industry and he, better than most, knows the potential for fish farming in this country and the need for diversification of that industry.

Now Fish and Game will squeal at anyone having a right over their precious domain. But it is time for some creative thinking, some bold actions and a change to some legislation that could provide the country with another high end high value niche export.

TREE TOP TEGELS

We watched Close Up tonight with some interest. Roger Beattie has embarked on a campaign to change the way we think about endangered species. He wants commercial interests to be able to farm them. We have long thought that this was a great idea. Kangaroo and Crocs are farmed and harvested in Aussie and while to outsiders it might seem funny to eat a national emblem it ensures that the species is in good heart.

It was hilarious to see Beattie go head to heads with DOC's Al Morrison. It was very clear that Morrison is not that open to new ideas and was uncomfortable when Beattie proffered the notion that DOC has a vested interest in ensuring species stay rare.

Anyway the results of the Close Up poll - Do you think endangered species should be farmed?

Obviously the result caught Mark Sainsbury by surprise. 85% of respondents are all for farming endangered species. Its time that the government took a look at the opportunities that Beattie is offering and the tasty weka is definitely the species to start with.

Based on our historical family information- the tastiness of our " endangered species " goes like this :

Kiwi - yuck. - stringy and oddly unpleasant.
Weka - yum.
Kereru - very yum
Kaka - the very essence of an avian culinary orgasm.