FOUR STEPS FORWARD THREE STEPS BACK

A few weeks ago we launched Fab and Fifty -it was our very public way of providing us with some motivation to lose weight and get fit. Well we have some bad news and some good news. After a month we have lost half a kilo. Which lets face it is within the statistical margin of error.

A big poop and we would lose half a kilo.

But our clothes fit a bit better and we certainly can do two flights of stairs without raising a puff. So its not all bad.

And it was an extraordinary month on the social front. First there was the leaving of the BOIL. It took three weeks and at least five seperate events to see her off in fine style. Second there was the visit of our good mate the Tassy devil. Again a few wines here and there and a couple of scoffs. And then came the Hong Kong Harridan , Cactus - its was bubbles bubbles and Dockside, Arbitrageur, Shed Five, her amazing apartment at 1801 at the Bolton Hotel.

So thats the litany of excuses ... However this week its back to the grindstone- time to step up the steps, stop the snacking and say no to the wine demon entreaties.

Funny thing is we feel good. And thats what its all about.


And we see by Tau's Facebook that he is struggling to give up the fags. Good on him for manning up and telling everyone that he is a backslider. He will conquer it I am sure.

John Lehmann

Hey bro .Is that a smoke in ya hand .Hows it going ?

2 hours ago

Tau Henare

um not good, cut right back but I failed.

2 hours ago

John Lehmann

Dont worry mate .You tried .You only fail if you dont give things ago.Leave it form a month or two and have another go .No big deal .

about an hour ago

Tau Henare

embarrassing really, Ill leave it for a week or so and keep on giving it a go. Thanks for the support

about an hour ago

However if we have any advice on that front its to try Champix. We have three mates and a sister who are on it and so far they have all stayed off the fags. We are with you all the way Tau. Stick at it..

And as Cactus points out - even Barack Obama is having some trouble giving up the cancer sticks and with all the support people at his disposal that is just plain broken arse... But then we think that Obama is a broken arse anyway.


This is the last getting fit blog on Roarprawn for a while - they will go back to being on Fab and Fifty

And for me and Tau and for all the other people who are waging war their own demons we like these quotes .

"When we can begin to take our failures non-seriously, it means we are ceasing to be afraid of them. It is of immense importance to laugh at ourselves." -- Katherine Mansfield

"Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently." -- Henry Ford

GIVE IT UP TAU GIVE IT UP...

We have been watching the very public spat between self proclaimed Westie boy Tau Henare and Rodney Hide.

Now if you like Rodney's play on the Auckland seats or not, you cant help but admire his courage in laying it on the line - he is principled and that makes him a man to admire.

However we are very unimpressed by Tau Henare's posturing. We want to know what he has done that makes him someone we should admire. What has he done for Maori ? Bugger all from what we can see. He isn't principled enough to walk away on an issue that must gall him.
And today, to top it all off we saw him standing outside Bowen House looking all belligerent.

But that's not the thing that really pissed us off. No he was smoking. Looking like a Pall Mall pin up boy. . Having a fag where everyone could see him. Engaging in the one foul practice that kills more of his kin than anything else.

Maori seats on Auckland Super City will not save the lives of any Maori but good role models that kids can look up to , will go a long way from dissuading a generation of impressionable tamariki from taking up the habit that will shorten their life span.

Shame on you Tau, get your shit together and be the man that everyone can admire. Do something for yourself and you will do something good for your people that will make a difference.

OOOPS

We, like Cactus Kate, have a pretty jaded view of politicians. However, every now and then one does something that requires a bit of praise. Tau Henare got a bit of praise from us for giving up smoking.

He did it publicly, in an effort to ensure that he would stay true to his pledge. We were delighted. We could see that because he has a high profile in his own community, his public attempt to do good, could in turn do even more good for his community.

Now at one stage we worked pretty closely with Tau - so we got the measure of him. He is " good people" as we say. Sure he was seduced by parliament when he was with Winston and he left and he made an attempt to set up his own party. And he can be an arrogant bombastic shit. but give him a good argument and he will back you to the hilt.

Now Tau has one thing that we think is a big strength. He is at heart a good bastard. He may not be a rocket scientist, in fact he might even have trouble spelling scientist but he is a likable flawed, gruff, character. He has done okay in life, and he has a big rollicky whanau who love him to bits. Sometimes money isn't the end all but family is definitely a big indicator in the success stakes.

Its something we learned many years ago when we lost a sizeable chunk of our capital.

So it is with some sorrow that we started what has been a fairly torrid flame war between Cactus and Tau.

It goes like this - we write about Tau and smoking.
Cactus thinks that Tau can not be a role model - not because he a Maori but because he is a politician.

Tau gets the wrong end of the stick and calls Cactus a Racist on Facebook.

Cactus does a literary Hannibal Lecter on Tau and dines with gusto on his inadaquacies.

Now we are adding our ten cents worth.


Now some of what she says is right, politicians on the whole are not the nicest bunch of people.
They tend to be big on ego. But some of them are good bastards at heart.

And there are a heap of Maori out there who owe their entire living to the treaty gravy train. She is right about that too. Its not necessarily a bad thing. the treaty train troughing is not limited to Maori and hell someone has to do it.

And yip Cactus is right -Tau can be a dick at times, but a lot of people from all walks of life quite like that big Westie dick. And he was a bit off saying Cactus is racist. She is not and never will be a racist. She hates laziness, people with no ambition and dud roots. Although she could show a bit more fortitude around the dud roots.

And at the end of the day she is a trougher as well. She is in a service industry for rich people. She is their financial house keeper - so to speak. She has not taken a risk and made anything except a deposit with other peoples money.

No widgets, no own company. It will come, we think, but at the moment she is a reliant on the good fortune of others to make a living. So she sells a service. She is very good at that service. she is in demand. She worked out what skills she had and she worked out how best she could utilise those skills to make the most money the quickest way possible so she can retire in a fashion she considers appropriate to her needs. Good on her.

Tau knows his strengths too. He is good at politics. Not ever going to be chairman of the board but he is pretty good in a select committee and when he was a Minister he got a few things done. He makes enough money to look after his family well and enjoy the things that, to him and his whanau, mean the most in life.

Bit like Cactus really.

Now the weird thing is Cactus and Tau, once they get over hissing at each other, will become good friends - they are poles apart and always will be. Both are flawed and both are good at the core. And that is something that they will recognise in each other. As we know that a good core is what both of them value most in others.

Cant wait to host that lunch.....

PORK ROAST,TIO TIO AND CHARDONNAY

Well it appears the ex Minister of Maori Affairs likes pork as well as oysters and chardonnay.

And apparently the place was none too tidy either but then again Parekura has never been a stickler for cleanliness and tidiness - the following a jibe from Tau Henare during the reading of the Maori Purposes Bill in Dec 2007

Hon TAU HENARE: Oh—market rents! That Minister can talk about market rents. He was one of the slum landlords down on the East Coast. He was trying to rent out his house to his whānau, and I would not have rented out a house that looked like that to a dog. But the Minister did, and we all know that. We all know he is a bit of a landlord down on the East Coast.

Hat tip Whale oil

TAU HENARE IN HOSPITAL

Oh dear...

Just as we were prompting Tau Henare  to start thinking about running for Te Atatu if Goff decides to sack Carter, he has a medical emergency
From his facebook.....

Well at 2ish this morning I had a wee heart attack. Yip that's right. freakiest thing in the whole world. anyway, all is good they put a stent into my artery and hey presto all good on the pumping blood score. Rest and Recuperation. Don't Panic whanau and don't Jump for Joy either.

We wish the big bugger all the best. We talked to him the other day and he was committed to losing weight and giving up the fags. Te Atatu needs him. 

HUMBLE PIE

We blogged on Tau Henare's weird outburst over Rodney and the Super City Maori seats. At first he was very belligerent... and cocky...

But as the realisation set inabout the ramifications of his ouburst, and he had time to reflect, he ate humble pie in a very public way on Facebook..

He gets the thumbs up from us for that...

This is from Facebook...

Tau Henare

Well what a day and it aint over yet. Maybe my comments yesterday were unhelpful and on reflection i made the mistake of putting myself ahead of the issue. It aint about me. Time to move on and deal with the other issues. Tell you what, theres nothin...g better than using the night time to reflect on the days happenings. Ah well, peace be with you all.Read more

Yesterday at 16:02 · Comment · Like

French adulterer or curing your mum's Alzheimers ?

"Taxpayers are going to pick up a $10 million bill to help ensure overseas leaders have a good time here during the rugby world cup.

The guest list is yet to be announced, but Princes William and Harry are expected,along with French President Nicolas Sarkozy." - TV3

"Dr Istvan Abraham
University of Otago, Dunedin
ANGELS as a Potential Treatment for Alzheimer's Disease
$782,886
36 months" - Health Research Council

To save you pulling out your calculator that is 450 months of research. Might save a few mums and dads.

Could have been worse but Tau Henare kicked Trevor Mallard's mausoleum to touch. Well not really Tau Henare but it was too good a pun to miss.

BEST NEWS OF THE DAY

Tau Henare is gonna kick the cancer sticks. Woohoo!!!

We have to fess up - we publicly gave him arseholes about what a bad role model he was when we spied him puffing up large like some lurking gangsta outside Bowen House one day
Here's what we said at the time:

"And today, to top it all off we saw him standing outside Bowen House looking all belligerent.

But that's not the thing that really pissed us off. No - he was smoking. Looking like a Pall Mall pin up boy. . Having a fag where everyone could see him. Engaging in the one foul practice that kills more of his kin than anything else.

Maori seats on Auckland Super City will not save the lives of any Maori but good role models that kids can look up to , will go a long way from dissuading a generation of impressionable tamariki from taking up the habit that will shorten their life span.

Shame on you Tau, get your shit together and be the man that everyone can admire. Do something for yourself and you will do something good for your people that will make a difference."

And today on Facebook he says he started to smoke last Waitangi Day and he aims to start the journey to being smoke free this Waitangi Day.

He had this to say on Facebook.

"Well, Last Waitangi Day I started smoking again after being off the bloody things for 2 1/2 years. This Waitangi day I am going off them again for good (90% sure) Im doing it for several reasons, 1.Because I really hate smoking, 2. Solidarity with the Maori Affairs Select Committee inquiry into Tobacco use by Maori and its effects on us and the nation ( cant have the chairman being a smoker ), 3. Maybe we can have a smokefree nation by 2020 ( Ill be 60 ). I know its going to be extremely hard but I thought I would use facebook to update you all on a daily basis about how its all going. If anyone else out there in FB land wants to join in, come on in. As roarprawn said once upon a time, polys are role models whether we like it or not. So lets do it on Waitangi Day and Ill keep you all infromed of how Im getting on and Maybe by the time Waitangi day 2011 comes around there will be at least 1000 of us FBs off the tobacco."

We are pleased that our wee rark up helped him make the decision to give up. We have always thought that Tau could be an inspiring role model.. Looks like he is off to a great start on that journey as well. and I know that he will have the support of all my mates in Anti Tobacco land. Even a few in Pro - Tobacco land.
And if Tau can get 1000 Maori to give up smoking in one year then he wont just be a role model he will be a hero . Kia Kaha - go you good thing!

TAU FOR TE ATATU?

Bet Phil Goff had a serious case of indigestion after reading the Sunday Star Times this morning.

He is now in an untenable position after the Sunday Star Times has revealed that Chris Carter sought the advice from ex PM Helen Clark on returning to parliament. So he has decided on the strength of a wee korero with her to head back to work in Wellington.

ERRANT WEST AUCKLAND MP Chris Carter last night broke his silence, saying he was returning to parliament, having taken advice from the party's former head, Helen Clark.

Last week Labour leader Phil Goff told Carter to head home to think about his future, after his refusal to front to media and apologise for using his ministerial credit card to buy flowers and massages.

Goff said Carter, MP for Te Atatu, had failed to express contrition and forced him to apologise unreservedly.

Yip, so now he tells us all that he has sough the advice of Aunty Helen about the situation he had got himself in due to his arrogance and overblown sense of entitlement.

And by association she has now shown that she sees no wrong doing among any of her former troughing Ministers.

It is clear that Carter has respect for Clark but none for Goff. Carter also indicates that he is not sorry. He shows no contrition. He displays all the characteristics of a narcissist..

So Goff now has no choice. He will have to cut him loose.

When the Sunday Star-Times asked Carter if he felt pressured into apologising, he replied: "I think that, ah, ah, we had discussions around it, of course. I think I needed time to reflect on it. When you are shoved into a corridor with a whole lot of journalists who have been waiting three-and-a-half hours to interview you... it wasn't very conducive to clear thinking."

Carter said: "We could argue the rights and wrongs of whether I've done anything wrong. The only personal items were two bunches of flowers that a staff member sent on their card, and all ministerial travel was signed off."

He said the apology was given "because you have to think about what is good for the Labour Party".

And at the end of the day the country's sickliest political fruit cake is a stranger to the truth. And he has no political antennae if he agrees to be questioned at length by the Sunday Star Times on such tricky issues.

Carter was embarrassed again last week when it was revealed he promised exclusive interviews to both TV3 and TV One. "I guess I just wanted to be nice. It's called PR, that's what politicians do."

So Goff, to ensure any semblance of respect, will have to cut him lose and do it quickly.So there will have to be a by election in Te Atatu. That means Nationals Tau Henare will have to step up to the plate. Thats good - Tau looks to us to be as ready as he ever would be to take back Te Atatu.

AROUND THE BLOGS

MacDoctor and Whale vie for top honours today.

Macdoctor has a very interesting take on what the problems are with child cancer treatment. His view may surprise you.

Whale Oil is calling for the axe to fall on the neck of Richard Worth and he hint darkly there is more to come. He is also outraged at the performance of Bill English on Q and A this morning. He is convinced that Bill did not do a very good job of backing up his boss. MWT also agrees

As does No Minister

So we reckon they will be right - he will have to go. And then the spotlight turns to who will pick up the protfolios... Hekia Parata? Paul Hutchinson? Tau Henare?



and if you are looking for a good place to go to look at interesting blogs try condron.us

Minister with a big appetite

UPDATE
apparently the breakfast was muttonbirds, oysters and champagne --- no self respecting ngai tahu would have champagne with muttonbirds - they go best with Chianti or a pilsener!

I have been known to catch a few muttonbirds so can speak with a bit of authority.


===============================================================
We know that Parekura likes a good feed but $75,000 for breakfast???????

Last oral question for today....

Hon TAU HENARE to the Minister of Māori Affairs: Can he confirm that the “breakfast bash” where he launched the new Māori dictionary cost taxpayers up to $75,000?

Reminds me of the time Parekura was in Invercargill for a seafood conference - he came out with a group of us for a kai - and it was oyster season --

He had:

one dozen raw for starters
one dozen raw for entre
one dozen cooked and another dozen raw for main and

yip a dozen for dessert!!!!

TREVOR "DONT TOUCH ME " MALLARD

We have just been watching Close Up which tonight is being hosted by the irreverent Paul Henry.

He is doing the story on the Supreme Lodge motel in Palmerston North that has banned all Wainuiomata residents from staying there because they keep wrecking the place.(We have stayed there.. We had a Cactus weekend there about 8 years ago- no names)

Anyway....
Henry invited Trevor Mallard MP and defender of the high culture of Wainuiomata , to chance his arm at getting a booking at the said Motel. However Mallard was met at the door by a burly Scotsman, asnd joint owner who sent the dork on his way- telling the poleaxedMP, in no uncertain terms that he was banned. The motellier lifted his arm to nudge him out the door and Mallard squeaks " don't touch me don't touch me !"

What??!! is this the Minister who biffed Tau Henare and got done for it ?

He looked an utter wanker - we can see a Whale Oil U tube vid coming to a computer near you soon.

And good on Supreme Motor Lodge. Its time for Wainiuomata's good citizens ( apparently there aren't many of them) to clean up the town image.

Mallard would have been better to have called a meeting in Wainuiomata and looked at some solutions - instead he will be ever remembered as an attention seeking yesterday politician with a lithp.

Update Whale has the goods here on vid

NZ AT THE BRINK OF ECONOMIC ABYSS?

We would have to agree with Kerry McDonald - there is a scant understanding of the parlous state of the NZ economy and that lack of economic literacy means that few will understand that it will take very little for us to end up as a basket case like the PIIGs, Portugal, Ireland, Italy and Greece.

So, for once we have to say that our support for this government is qualified. We still want more facts on what Plan B is - if it all turns to custard. We are not interested in Pollyanna projections.

We are not interested in what the PM thinks of the Wellywood sign or Tau Henare's tweets.

We are interested in is how he is going to stop the rampant feasting on our fiscal future as Kerry so eloquently puts it,

"New Zealands citizens are eating its breeding stock and next seasons seed -
its dangerously in debt and still borrowing heavily"

So this is one time when we need a government that doesn't indulge in frippery, and keeps the country well informed of the state of the nation and its stewardship and makes sure that we live within our means, despite the pain that will bring. But we are convinced - if you tell the nation why serious restraint is needed and they understand and believe growth can come from an export led recovery , that business is good,that profit is needed to fund the taxes to provide the sort of services we expect, like good roads and infrastructure -then we will get through what is a pretty tough time.

Hooton in full and a Maori perspective

I posted on Hootons column last night -

because I think it is a must read for every New Zealander before they head to the ballot box. It reveals some of the inner workings of the National party, and some of the ideological crap that went down in the last decade.

Hooton asked me to talk to a few of the media at the time of the Brash Coup. Despite liking Bill English , I was pretty convinced that he wasn't right to lead the party at that time so I was happy to lend the little support I could.

I remember Hooton ringing me distraught when he saw what was in the Orewa speech - I was in Alexandra with my parents at the time and they were bemused at all the phone calls. I told them there was a speech coming that could change the nation but not in a good way.

I remember reading it and crying.

A couple of days later on my return I was in Cuba Street have a quiet beer with some mates and Georgina te Heuheu wandered along. She was still shell shocked and her faith in the party that her families have supported for decades, had been dented.

There had been talk of her resignation and I could see that it was something that she had pondered .

I was glad she toughed it out. Georgina , the roguish Tau Henare , Paula Bennett, Hekia Parata and Paul Quinn have an important part to play in the future National Party .

They are successful , educated but they remain true to their whakapapa. They know that welfarism isn't the way to advance Maori - it will only entrench them in the mire of a government dependency.

And they will be able to work with the Maori party.


They will help National become the party it can be and ensure that the stream of racism that used to run through the National party dries up.They will stand beside John Key and lead this nation so we can get on with being the best country we can be with a shared future.



Here is Hootons column in full - email it to everyone you can.





I see that I’ve come under a bit of attack from The Prime Minister’s Office and also from Chris. All good, strong political debate for the most part, but there are a couple of things I would like to respond to.
First, yes, I do believe that Winston Peters is an evil influence on New Zealand politics and the use of the word “axis” was entirely deliberate, chosen as being more appropriate than “allies” or even “bloc” for the regime he sustains.
Peters is a person who has attacked Asian immigrants for being too rich and Somalian refugees for being too poor, and, in both cases, has known that to do so is wrong, with his friend Sir Robert Jones saying that, in private, Peters believes none of it. As Deputy Prime Minister in the late 1990s, Peters was actually a good ambassador for New Zealand to Asian countries because he and they knew that he did not mean the things he had said.
The same is true with economic policy. In 1996, Peters had attacked the Bolger Government, the Reserve Bank and the Reserve Bank Act, saying they were doing untold harm to New Zealand. He had ideas about how the operation of monetary policy could be changed in New Zealand that he took on the campaign trail. I am told that, soon after Peters’ appointment as Treasurer, then Reserve Bank Governor Don Brash met with his new boss and said he had read New Zealand First’s manifesto and speeches and, assuming Peters was serious, wanted to set up a process to review the RBA and the operation of monetary policy in New Zealand. My source (and you can guess who it may be) said that Peters replied: “Don’t worry about all that. The next election is three years away.”
I find that sick. It later had very important implications.
As close followers of politics will know, a National/ACT/United Future/Maori Party/NZ First Government was a mathematical possibility after the last election. The way I understand things, National, ACT, United Future and the Maori Party all agreed on basic terms about how such a government would operate, and the other party leaders told Brash to get in touch with Peters to discuss it. Brash never did, and the other party leaders were perplexed.
The reason, as I understand it, is that Brash had been so sickened by Peters’ cynicism from the time Brash was Governor and Peters was Treasurer that he simply did not want to deal with him directly, despite it being the difference between government and opposition. Instead, letters written by Peter Dunne’s Chief of Staff (and former Bolger Chief of Staff) Rob Eaddy were sent.
I am proud that John Key, who I support for Prime Minister, has now formalised that position.
And, speaking of pride, one of the times I was most proud to work for the Bolger Government in the 1990s, was when, after a particularly vicious attack on immigrants by Peters, Jim Bolger went into Parliament and declared that he had confidence that the New Zealand people knew the similarity between Hitler and the Jews and Peters and the Asians. It was an entirely legitimate comparison to make. It still is.
Both Bolger and Helen Clark should be ashamed that they dealt with him. I know the complexities involved in being leader of National or Labour under MMP, and I can understand why both Bolger and Clark did what they did in 1996 and 2005 respectively, but that does not mean I have to think it is OK to draw support from the closest thing we have ever had to a Nazi Party seriously represented in our Parliament.
It is appalling that a so-called social democrat like Chris is prepared to defend Peters.
All Peters’ themes continue to be Hitleresque. Just read “Conspiracy of Conspiracies“. The imagery is right out of Germany in the 1930s. There is an evil other - “they” - who are trying to harm you. They are foreign. Secretive. And involved in finance. In 1930s Germany terms, he means “the Jews”. Chris is an historian. He knows this better than most. Yet he defends the Nazi.
My Radio New Zealand National colleague Laila Harre spoke about something like this on Monday on our regular slot on Nine to Noon. Laila talked about how she had spoken recently to a group ironically called “Drinking Liberally.” I won’t put the words into her mouth. This is what she said at 3:41:
Laila: The odd thing is in moving as I do in slightly more liberal circles, it’s really surprised me, the patter that’s coming from people sort of the centre left around this and Helen Clark may be listening more carefully to those people than really perhaps is warranted, given the wider kind of public mood it seems to me -
Kathryn Ryan: What do you mean by that?
Laila: - around this issue. Well, I mean I was a couple of weeks in a new organization speaking to them, called Drinking Liberally and I was sort of quite surprised when my wee stab at Peters - thinking I’d be doing a bit of a warm up - went down like a cup of cold sick at the beginning of the discussion and there is actually an awful lot of defence in that sort of milieu of Peters and particularly of, obviously of Clark’s handling of him but a huge distrust of Owen Glenn and you know I would say in those circles on balance people are really are not convinced that Glenn is telling the truth.
So much for drinking “liberally”. So much for “social democracy”.
Clark too is an extremely dangerous individual. Those of you who work at Parliament should go down to the Select Committee Room on the ground floor of old Parliament Buildings which has all the photos of all the female MPs who have ever been elected to our Parliament. You’ll see Marilyn Waring, Fran Wilde, Ruth Richardson, Jenny Shipley, Ruth Dyson, Katherine Rich and so on. All of them look like regular people, happy to be in Parliament. But take a look at the photo of Clark. As an MP I have worked with has told me: “I sit in that Select Committee Room and stare at those eyes. Because I have seen those eyes before. But only in the heads of fellow trade ministers in governments where the leader of those governments is a documented killer.”
Clark has dictatorial tendencies. She has marched through the institutions. She has improperly brought the civil service under her control, including, most outrageously, the police. She has stolen taxpayers’ money for her election campaigns, deliberately broken our election spending limits, run filthy fear campaigns such as the letters to state housing tenants saying they would be evicted under a National Government, told lies about all this, and rammed through retrospective legislation to legalise her own staff’s and party’s crimes.
Constitutionally, she is far worse than Muldoon, whom people like Chris would eagerly have called a fascist in the early 1980s.
The Clark/Peters Axis? You bet.
And so on to Don Brash …..The Prime Minister’s Office says I “was one of the architects of Don Brash’s deceptive, racist campaign in 2005.” The Prime Minister’s Office has obviously not studied its Holy Scripture (aka “The Hollow Men”) closely enough.
I first met Don Brash in early 1996 when Lockwood Smith was moved from the education to the agriculture portfolio and, after deciding that a good right-winger like me should prefer working with producers like farmers over civil servants like teachers, I decided to move portfolios with Lockwood rather than staying in education and working for Wyatt Creech.
Lockwood arranged for me to spend a day with Don going to farmers’ meetings in the Wairarapa. This was at a time when Don was very unpopular with farmers because he had raised interest rates (and thus the dollar) and so he was “fronting up”. He was brilliant on the stage and won over most of the farmers. Later, I was delighted when he was headhunted by National in 2002. He (and John Key) were the only two good things that happened to National that year.
Diane Foreman is a family friend and, in 2003, when I returned to New Zealand for my father’s funeral which she attended and I spoke at, she suggested to Don that he call me, because (and this is a bit macarbe) she thought I spoke well and she thought he might need a decent speechwriter. A little bit later, in April 2003 I think, I was out on the turps at the Corner Bar in Shortland Street, and heard rumours that Don was challenging Bill English for the National Party leadership and (because I have a, er, “difficult” relationship with Bill English and because I was pissed), I called Don at Parliament to urge him on.
From that call, I began working unpaid for Don to undermine Bill (sorry, Bill) and change the leadership of the party.
Don asked me to write his speech to ACT’s Canterbury conference in mid-2003. I remember this because I was driving over the Crown Range when he called. He asked me what I thought about politics and his political positioning. I told him I had been offended by the racist nature of National’s 2003 conference, when there had been a big slogan “One standard of citizenship for all New Zealanders.”
I don’t disagree with the sentiment, but just as Chris has pointed out in his “Natsy” comments - “Who do you lot think you’re fooling? You do Matthew a severe disservice by attempting to make him look as dimwittedly literal as yourselves” - I know that to use the word “one” in a political slogan has connotations beyond the literal. (Just think, seeing it seems topical, of “ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Führer”.) I told Don this. He did not appear to disagree.
Anyway, I then wrote his speech for the ACT conference designed to undermine poor old Bill, and Don ran it passed Roger Sowry and Bill and they obviously demanded changes, and I told Don not to return their calls but to deliver it anyway, and then to leak to Tracy Watkins that he had defied Bill, and she put that on the front page of the Dom, with the headline “Brash defies his leader“, and Bill looked weak, and …. maybe The Prime Minister’s Office is right. I do do shitty things from time to time!
Then I pushed Don to do his controversial press conference at the Tamaki Yacht Club a bit later, where we really put the knife into Bill, and then …. the rest is history.
(Unfortunately for me, Don was forced to do the Tamaki thing a week earlier than I had planned, and I had law exams, so I couldn’t go to Wellington for the vote, so Catherine Judd arranged for Byran Sinclair to do the media work instead, so I missed out on being part of all the drama …. )
Anyway, I kept in touch with Don. I couldn’t get a job in his office because Murray McCully and a couple of others weren’t keen. We kept talking and I was a bit surprised when I had a meeting with Brash, Sinclair and Peter Keenan at Brash’s home when they had a copy of a Crosby Texter memo that had been sent to Michael Howard recommending, among other things, picking a fight with an unpopular minority. With the foreshore and seabed issue hot at the time, Keenan was strongly recommending Maori be the target.
I was also surprised when, a bit later, at a private dinner at Don’s place in January, with Don, Je Lan, Lockwood, his girlfriend Alex, me and my wife Cathy, that Don seemed unusually interested in the future of the Maori seats. And then it came to the fateful Orewa speech.
I was sent a draft for comment and I hated it. The truth is, I’m a “sickly white liberal”, as Peters would describe it. I got Diane to pay me to write an alternative that had the same policy ideas (because they had been agreed by caucus) but which wasn’t as nasty in tone.
I got Je Lan Brash on side but Don chose the Peter Keenan draft, and, politically, that was the right call. In a sense, it was fair enough for Keenan to call me, as reported in “The Hollow Men” “an idiot”.
Nevertheless, I caused a bit of a fuss. I had paid for a table for 10 at the Orewa speech. Ironically, I had invited Diane and Bill Foreman to join my table. When it was confirmed to me that Brash was going with the Keenan speech I cancelled my table. Lockwood tells me there was a gap, which he - as local MP - was embarrassed about, but which I am quietly proud of.
I probably should have stuck to my guns, but when Don went up 17 points in the polls, I decided he would be prime minister and I gained nothing from not being his mate. Also, I do admire him, despite all the above. That’s why there were so many emails from me in “The Hollow Men” that I am embarrassed about.
One communication that is not in “The Hollow Men” is when I contacted Lockwood after the first “Iwi/Kiwi” billboard came out and said “fuck you, that’s it, I’m not voting for you”. Lockwood calmed me down and said, perhaps fairly, that I had made a lot of money out of Treaty of Waitangi issues and perhaps that was distorting my judgement and making me more angry than I would otherwise be. Old Lockwood is a bit more astute when dealing with people than he is given credit for.
I have a good relationship with Don now. We do not talk about these matters. He knows that I think the Orewa speech was appalling. I expect he thinks I am a bit wet. I do think the 2005 election was stolen from him by a corrupt Labour Government. But then I also think John Key will make a better leader in the 21st Century than he would have.
So there we go. A very long post.
Clinton Smith, or whatever your name is, call me a liar. That’s just politics.
But I was not involved in Brash’s 2005 campaign.
And the reason I supported Don for leader was, ironically, because I thought, wrongly, that he was a liberal in the Ruth Richardson, Doug Graham, Lockwood Smith, Katherine Rich wing of the party where I am most comfortable.