I TALK TO MY BANTYS

Yip I have to fess, everynight I go home - kick off my Prada sandals, don my slouchies, grab the kitchen scraps and head to the chook barn.

Its an open ended affair that looks out on the 10 acres that my three wee silkie banty feather duster chooks call home.

They were all pretty good at laying bumnuts to begin with but if 2 were human - they would now be on the DPB.

All they really wanna do is be mums. However, we didnt have a rooster to start so we bought in 42 fertilised eggs in various batches to test their maternal instincts.

We got one chicken, Chickadee from Fluff-

Sadly Chickadee was taken in his prime by a hawk and Fluff never really got over it.

Speckle did hatch three chicks but Snowy got chick envy and she pecked the poor little buggers to death. So Snowy is a chick killer and Speckle is a useless mum.

The hatch rate wasn't helped much by the fact that all three kept stealing eggs off each other.

But we have not given up - we have another set of eggs shared between the two broody bantys.

And we bought another wee brown banty ( she did look huge in the pic) off Trademe with 4 little chicks- Mother and babies are doing well.

But its little Fluff who has stolen our heart. Everynight she runs a small marathon to get to me when I call out and then follows me back to the barn. Most nights I pick her up and she nestles in my bosum and I tell her what its like to be in the battery farm that is the Wellington bureaucracy. She never interrupts as I cackle on about the days events and all the silly big swinging dick roosters and silly peacocks I have to deal with. She watches me the whole time and listens intently, and clucks her sympathies and only ever gets distracted when we get to the feed bin.

And she has been so traumatised by losing Chickadee that she hasn't gone all bloody silly and broody.

So we are not surprised that scientists reckon chickens show empathy.

They do. Fluff is my wee mate.

And every day she lays a perfect white egg just for me. She sees the value in our relationship and knows what her strengths are.

As for Snowy and Speckle, - they are just would be solo mums who are happy to lounge about looking mothery on eggs some other poor chook laid not giving a stuff who the father is, showing no appreciation for our care and consideration.

If they dont act like responsible mothers and look after their little whangai chickies when they hatch this time, then they will make bloody great chicken stock.

We believe in reciprocal obligations.

This weekend we are killing a lamb. Last time we needed to top up the freezer we got a nice butcher fella to do it. This time we are doing it ourselves. Not sure if we can manage a french rack but we will manage chops and roasts and will save $50 in the process.

Life on the farm is good.

Update - the Rock bought me a really girly present - a band saw with a mincer and sausage maker attached to deal to the lamb - now how romantic is that?