OFF WITH HIS PECKERHEAD

We have never supported monarchies. We are hardcore republican.

Either has Ngai Tahu for that matter. They pay deference to the role of the Tainui King as a mark of respect to Tainui but Ngai Tahu have never believed in the sanctity of the Maori monarchy.

Ngai Tahu supported the notion of tribal chiefs and the paternal role they played but at any time they could be replaced if their leadership skills were found wanting. The mere fact that these days - the tribal chief - the Kaiwhakahaere is subject to a vote bears that out.

Tainui's "king" Teheitia seems to be drawing inspiration from that well known bunch of inbreds the Windsors - in a bid to ensure that his primary role is to provide light entertainment to us all. He is fast becoming a mirror image of that other overblown wanker full of his own piss and importance - the King of Tonga - who is the laughing stock of the Pacific.

Now Teheitia was born into Tainui "royal" family but in the real world he was a former truck driver. By all accounts he is a nice enough bloke but he is not up to providing the pomp that one expects from a "king."

And rumour has it he loves travelling more than a muttonbird and adores all the scraping and bowing that goes with his title when he goes overseas. He apparently gets a far better run from foreign dignitaries than he does in NZ.

The latest leaking of some poorly constructed advice about how "commoners" are expected to look and behave in the presence of the "king" shows how silly, and frankly insulting his reign has become to the rest of us who descended from a mix of waka bailers and chiefs.

Funny thing is - in times of old - crap "royals" usually got the arse from the general populous if they started to act like dickheads.

While we don't advocate a beheading, its time that Tainui had a good look at the external damage this anachronistic institution is doing to the tribes mana. So maybe its about time that Tainui looked around their whanui for a better leader and got all modern and scrapped the King thing.

If the tribe really want respect they need to get rid of the silly fatuous monarchy that does little but bleed the coffers of the tribe and that does little but reinforce the commonly held pakeha view that Maori are a bunch of uppity dumb arses who like shiny things.