HAYESY HAY DAY

Today we baled and stacked 300 bales of hay. It was a bit of a family affair, Mum always at the ready with a cuppa and a scone,  Dad,76 with one kidney and some dodgy pipe work happy to get on an ancient Fergy tractor and haul it around the paddock that has some tight corners. We started the job yesterday in 29 degrees - today was  aslightly cooler but sticky 27 degrees uncomfortable.

And then there is the Rock who has a passion for doing things the old way which means using old stuff. Some of it 30 - 50 years old. We had our moments - the Holland Baler busted its boiler a couple of times but the Rock , as he almost always does , fixed it. And the Hay conveyor chewed bales for a while till we worked out a bulging guiding rod was the culprit  it was fixed in a paddock moment with the most intricate of tools  - a sledgehammer. Two bangs and dang if it didn't slide the bales up like butter. 

Son Matthew joined us for the last round of the paddock so there were three generations of Campbells outstanding in their field. It also meant the oldest skited to the youngest by ripping round the paddock  only to be sworn at to slow down. Dad might want to do a lot of things at his age but apparently driving a  62 bedford truck scooping up hay sedately is not one of them. 

The bales were neatly stacked in our shed  - almost all of them - a mate took about 60 straight from the paddock for her stock. 

As I sit here typing this , Im still feeling the scratch of a lonely grass wand on my slightly less ample arse  but  no one stirs. 

Asleep they are  -  dreaming of big bales and noisy machines, dust and a very tidy stack, a cleansing shower  and the smell of Mums fresh scones and my strawberry preserves from the house and a cold beer.   

BEAT UP OF THE YEAR

What a complete load of tosh. This is another example of  speculative journalism. Take a pinch of facts chuck in some fame seeking expert. Look at the worst case scenario and report it. 

Mind you if the birds glow in the dark they will be easier to catch.

However we are pretty confident that the titi's biggest threat is a hungry Rakiura Maori chap or chapess.

FINE WINE AND LODGINGS

Today was a great day. We woke up early at Spring Creek  motorcamp and I shot down to the creek to feed the eels.  They fought with the ducks and trout  for a few crumbs of bread.

Then we decided on a trip up the Wairau Valley. Our first stop was a small pub at Wairau Valley township where we had a toasted sandwich and I had a half of Matsons lager..  It was a nice light drop.

Then we went to one of a myriad spots that motorvan owners (mo'vanners) like ma and pa know about. Todays visual treat was Lake Argyle which is a small canal lake that is diverted from the Branch  and Leatham  Rivers to create a bit of power.. It holds a few fish - so ma and I went for a stroll to the big rivers while dad had a couple of casts in Argyle. While he claims he got a few nibbles there were  no fish in his bag on our return.  

On the way back  to Picton and our final night in the South, we stopped to get some cherries for lambcut  and some good white wines . I wanted some nice aromatics to go with the crayfish dishes I have planned for Boxing Day. 

So I purchased a six pack of  Gewurztraminer, Toru and Pinot Gris from Te Whare Ra wines. 

I have a few recipes to try out and will blog about the matches after Xmas. 

I am no true believer in biodynamic practices but  I am a  believer in loving the land and nurturing it and whatever the Flowerdays are doing it is good for the grape. Their wines are probably some of the most complex and interesting aromatics in the country. 

And I cant wait to pair them up with a range of crayfish,  whitebait,  and smoked eel dishes. 

Today was a brilliant day.. some great sights, fantastic people and good food and wine.. It doesn't get much better.. 

A GOOD BED AND A TANIWHA

Tonight we are in the Spring Creek motor camp. Its a lovely wee place and we are again in a cabin for $80.  So what did i get for $80?  A really nice bed  clean as , a bright and clean duvet a clean toilet and shower. 

Its old and built of concrete block but perfectly adequate.

Its light years away from this hell  hole in Kaikoura.

And this holiday park is set up for kids and has a delightful spring fed creek thats home to some huge trout and eels. 

Its the quintessential new zealand holiday park. 

KACK IN KAIKOURA

We  are on the first stay of a three day trip from Christchurch to Wellington. So far it has been fabulous to spend some time with mum and dad in their faithful steel steed - their motorhome known as Bugsys Burrow.  We stopped at Waipara Springs  winery for a stellar coffee and bought a couple of bottles of wine  and then stopped in Cheviot and had a noisy in a fabulous antique shop. Then we looked into a lovely gallery and struck up a conversation to find in ten seconds  flat that we found an acquaintance we had in common. This seems to be a national sport for Kiwis. Work out with a stranger someone you both know in the shortest time possible. With well travelled parents and a chirpy and inquiring old man - its a daily occurrence.  Now we are not too precious about where we stay on out trips and it makes it easier if its a camping ground with a power site for ma and pa and a cabin for me - that way we can stay together.  Their motor home is cosy for 2 but cramped for 3. So our first night park  up is in a place called the A1 Motel in Kaikoura. Its a place probably built in the 70's and its bloody tired.  Now we dont really mind tired but we dont abide grubby and this one is grubby.  It was $30 for the power site for ma and pa and $70 for my room.
We have with us some precious cargo - a mate who owns a lobster exporting company gave us over a dozen cray tails for xmas.  so a fridge is good. I unpacked them and put them in the fridges freezer and as i closed the door it fell off. Landed on my toe..  it hurt. but i could not help laughing.  the sheets are clean but the toilet would be a great centrepiece in a horror movie of the genesis of some alien life form.
So we wont be back. But like all good holidays the bad experiences are all part of the trip.  This morning we are off to cruise around Blenheim. A mate has offered us a cuppa tea and some fresh xmas baking.  And then Sunday sees us in Picton for the big crossing on BlueBridge.

HORSESHIT AND BIODYNAMICS

A few weeks ago when the International Big Oil was in town a few media politeratti and cliteratti gathered for a bit of a catch up.

There was good wine to be had.  Lots of it - we were buying and sharing our favourites with  others . 

A well known media personality presented us with a new wine.  

It was cloudy and sorry boys - but it was the colour of a mucky period.. 

A diseased ruby color. 

We all sniffed inquisitively and as I cast my eyes around the table it was clear that this was not an ephiphanistic drop. 

We sipped but our palates were in obvious agreement - it was not a great wine. 

The purchaser of this bemusing wine was aghast - "Its bio dynamic! " he exclaimed 

Moments like these are always dangerous for us sheilas of advancing years and bladder valves worn by too many evenings on the hops as a young un. 

We were characteristically blunt. "Its crap." 

Others murmured in agreement . To be fair some thought it was okay  - drinkable at a pinch - " A quaffer " someone proffered.

Then the buyee of the bottle thundered  "Its $245.. "

About $10 bucks worth shot out the left side on my mouth. 

A mate lost control of her muscles and spilt a $20 bucks on the table as she jerked in reaction to the revelation. 

Then we proceeded to take the piss out of the plonk. It was universally declared ordinary. 

Bio dynamics is a wonderful marketing ploy by the organic lobby. Medieval mysticism gone moderne. 

Now I grow a few veges  and we have cows and sheep a horse and chooks and as everyone knows manure is good for you. I use it extensively  and the results are glorious. Use lots of manure and you get robust, lush fecund fauna. 

 However playing in shit filling up horns cos they are the seemingly magical   "fertile" bit of the bovine and burying them to mature the said crap  is just frikking daft. 

Doing it in time with the moon and sun indicates that the believers have been exposed to too many solar flares. 

Now in this video  up on the Seresin Wine Site (which I think has some of the finest wine in the world) is an example of  how this pseudo science is being peddled. 

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Some cute guy  playing with poo somehow seems romantic when the dreamy scenes are linked to lush vineyards. 

He looks like some agrarian Merlin piling the poop into horns for it to mature in the earth to wait a while for it to turn into plant superfood. 

The simple fact is - if you line up a biodynamic vineyard and one that uses natural fertilisers like manure broken down in the old fashioned way, the results would be the same. 

Its not the moon or the sun or the "fertile horn"  or even the steadfast belief of the cute guy that's creating good wine. Its a modern myth. 

Its simply that shit is the biz when it comes to making things grow. 

And its time that this weird wine wankery was unmasked for what it is  - bollocks. 

Some biodynamic wine will be good in spite of the all the jiggery pokery .  Because shit is good for the soil.  But all the biodynamic ritual adds no value

The shit is where its at. 

So to all you good wine makers out there - stop taking the piss - us good wine drinkers deserve more respect .

Their is truth in the vine - tell it. 

ADORABULL

We have two heifers of an age where calfhood is calling. One is a big rangy freisian called Missy - the other is a wee Angus called The Angus. 

Now we also have a steer known as Bullocky  who is destined for the freezer before Xmas. 

Now we know that the heifers are keen for a calf as they have been indulging in a  bit of lesbian tribbing and the steer seems to be keen to dry hump the girls - so its fair to say that all involved are happy campers.. 

So we have the lend of a bull. He maybe a dependabull, hopefully  loveabull and definitely  we need him to be rootabull.  

However there is  a small problem... He is a bit on the short side - so he has been wandering around the paddock looking a little forlorn despite the best come hither advances of the two heifer hussys. He is going to have to step up and in a flat paddock he has a bit of a handicap. 

So only time will tell if Harry the Hereford X will be up to quite a tall order.. 

GIVE A PENGY A CHANCE

Our mates in the VRWC have been joshing with us all day. There have been about 1200 birds killed by the RENA oil slick. Our mates argue that while it seems a lot its not big in the scheme of things. Maybe they are right - they normally are. However we do  think that DOC needs a big thumbs up for co-ordinating the effort to save the pandas of NZ bird world  - The Dotterel. Its a sisyphean task that requires passion and dogged determination in the face of insurmountable odds.

They are funny wee birds that hide on the shore line and put their nests in the silliest of places. The go for bloody miles to find a feed and when the chips are down they will abandon their chicks and its not like they have a big brood - nope they only have a couple  or three at best. 

In essence they wiggled their fluffy arses just enough to make a wee indent in the sand and squeeze out a couple or three bumnuts. But just above the high tide zone is the equivalent of gang riven  Farmers Crescent.  Its hell out there.  All manner of predators  lurk there from skua, stoats and the heavy feet of hairy legged trampers. So what happens if the eggs or chicks get killed? Well the dotterels are persistent - they go and wiggle there wee botties and do it all over again.

So they are as succesful as parents as Sonny Bill Williams would be at trying to maintain a hard on in a locked room with only Helen Clark for company.

We reckon Dotterel  are  winged Pandas because despite the fact that they are deliriously cute, these little feathered moths  that flit almost undetectable on the sandy shore line - need human support to exist. So New Zealand, is  in essence, providing state support for the useless dotterel parents. What do NZ'ers get in return? bugger all as you cant see the wee buggers as they only thing they are much good at is camouflage.  However they would stick out like the balls on a St Bernard against the oil stained sand. 

You see our mates reckon that we have  had a far greater impact on the country's bird population - killing over 40,000 muttonbirds singletoothedly over our lifetime. That is very true. We are of course very old  so its taken nearly half a century to reach that figure. So while we have dispatched a lot of oily birds to eat  - the  RENA's oily slick  hasn't really eaten a lot of birds. 

However, we think that what is really worth saving is the little blue penguin.. The wee pengys never fail to raise a smile either on land or at sea. Gentle wee buggers  - efficient hunters and good mums and dads.  And they apparently taste like crap. 

We like that in a bird.

and what is our favourite Seabird? This one of course-  

The Mollymawk 

There is nothing that comes close to the grace of these birds and their amazing faces. 

They are welcome to come steal my fish anytime. 

THE BITTERNESS OF GALLS

As we were watching the big game last night between NZ and Australia we mused to our Aussie partner, the Rock, that despite the vilification of Quade Cooper, there were many signs that NZ and Australia were finally  understanding that we had more in common than not. 

The mere fact that a kiwi born boy like Quade called Australia home, as do hundreds of thousands of New Zealanders, is a case in point. He is well aware and proud of his kiwi heritage but for him Aussie is home and he wears the Aussie jersey proudly. 

We think that Cooper is an outstanding athlete - he is Sean Maitland's cousin so his sporting lineage goes back aways. 

So despite the loss to the kiwis last night one of the big names in Australia sports writing is calling on  his country to get behind the kiwis in their quest for the cup. 

We agree. The All Blacks French final should see the All Blacks trump the Frogs. And while the world knows the strength of our rivalry with Australia the world may not realise that we have never got over the Gallic bastards coming over here to blow up a boat in our waters. 

RAINBOW WARRIOR REFEREE

Referee Alain Rolland single-handedly sunk the honour of the Rugby World Cup last night. Rolland showed Welsh skipper Sam Warburton a red card following a spear tackle on French wing Vincent Clerc in the 18th minute of the game. The tackle itself did not appear to be carried out with malicious intent. It did not result in any injury to Clerc. And, it was not at the high end of such infringements where a player would be deliberately driven into the ground. Rolland, for a second time in the tournament showed himself to be an officious spoiler with a prejudice in favour of France. The French winger’s reaction was to grovel on the ground, milking the moment with an Oscar winning performance. The act of a cheat. In the France - All Black pool game, Rolland distracted the All Blacks with a little chat on rule interpretation allowing the French to skulk over the try line unopposed. He, clearly, does not understand the spirit of Rugby or any other sport. Rolland’s father is French and he speaks the language fluently. This apparently, made him a good choice of “neutral” ref for the French games. IRB logic defeats me, Wales and belief itself. I don’t recall seeing anything so contemptible since the French Secret Service came here to bomb a peace ship. If any glory can be salvaged from such a display it all goes to Wales who played on valiantly without their young skipper. Of shame there is plenty, for Alain Rolland and his French friends.

Update: There is a Ban Alain Rolland from officiating Rugby ever again!!! facebook page with more than 1500 members already.

STEVE JOBS - CELEBRATING CRAZY

We so totally get this..  

Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo.
You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward.
And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do...
Steve Jobs

The world just got a little darker 

FOR COLIN SLADE - THE FELLA WITH THE BIG JOB

We reckon he will do just fine. 

FARK N HELEN

We set off for the Sunday Markets this morning to stock up on plants for the garden that the Rock had kindly dug over with the rotary Hoe on the back of the tractor.

As we drove down the drive out of our right eye we spied a flash of blue and the whip of a high tail. A pheasant - Could it be the Son of Fark? 

Then we realised that he was not alone - he had a mate- a dowdy plain bird  leading him to  the safety of the wide open paddock.. We have named her Helen

So spring is here and the election is upon us. We look forward to a feasting. 

VATA NGOBENI - WE SAY SORRY

It sure appears that Taupo police made an awful error of judgement  Much liked and well respected sports journalist Vata Ngobeni found himself the victim of some over eager police in Taupo last night.

Reports indicate he was dragged off to the local cop shop as a suspected drug dealer.

According to other journalists with him at the time he was the only black person  in the bar. 

Admittedly the police have apologised but it should never have happened in the first place. 

Anyway this sort of crap is unacceptable  so to all New Zealanders the pic is of a good man,  a well respected professional man, who is here to enjoy our country  - So lets ensure that Vata  gets the respect and hospitality he deserves for the rest of his stay. We all owe him that. 

ALL BLACKS - WILL THEY DO IT ?

After 2night it looks like they might.

NOISY OYSTERS AND WHITEBAITS

We  got a bit of time off today -so we  had lunch at Shed 5 with some good mates.

We started with Bluff oysters for entree. They were served  almost as we like them  - naked on a rocky bed of  ice. The wee plastic squirty things with some sort of vinegar  in them that accompanied the plump oysters were just plain gauche. Raw oysters served with any plastic utensil is a travesty. We photographed the squirty thing, that looked like a turkey baster for quail, with the oysters - its to the right of the plate in the ice. Awful wee device.

We do no like our food  fancy schmansyied but they did it again with the main of whitebait fritters . Fritters unadorned but for a gentle drop of lemon juice, cannot be beaten. But no - they served them with oily undrained mussel fritters and a smudge of carrot puree. It was just wrong. 

Where is Gaults simple but deft touch?

Stunning food is like a stunning woman - she is mouthwatering naked and only needs a simple adornment to bring out her inner beauty. 

Sadly our meal at Shed Five was like Audrey Hepburn  dressed in trackies from KMart. 

Luckily we supped on the superb Daniel Le Brun  bubbles. A fine New Zealand  methode traditonelle  to have with  New Zealands finest seafood.  It made  up for the missing citrus on the whitebait. 

So our advice to Shed Five is to undress the plates. Seafood  of this quality happily shines on its own. 

However for location and service Shed 5 is hard to beat and the two big  fritters were exceptional value. 

We recommend this restaurant to any Rugby World Cup visitors 

GETTING A LOT IN LITTLE RIVER

I was lucky enough to be over on the Banks Peninsula today and even luckier to have lunch with some friends at the Little River Cafe and Gallery.  

The food is fantastic and reasonably priced. We had the beef pie - it  was full of dense beef  topside in a thick and tasty gravy studded with mushrooms. The cafe sells smoked salt and I would bet a dollar to a donut that the chef seasoned the pie with this wonderful seasoning. 

Desert was a baked cheese cake. The place was packed  as any good cafe is.  And the coffee was strong with any trace of bitterness. 

If you are on the way to Akaroa during the Rugby World Cup then make Little River your brunch stop . You wont be disappointed

I LOVE NEW ZEALAND

A friend of Lambcut's was in the National Bank branch that is nearest the Parliament end of Lambton Quay, today. Bill English happened to be there too. Apparently, our Deputy Prime Minister fronted up to the teller, as one does, regarding whatever transaction he had in mind. The teller asked him for ID. I love New Zealand.

SCAREDY FLOYD

Poor Floyd didnt take the news that I had gained a few pounds in Christchurch particularly well.....

ACT OF OLD

Well there are few surprises in the ACT list.

However keeping the 3rd spot open leads to speculation its either Catherine Isaac or Cathy Odgers.

We are glad to see that the very odd Hilary Calvert is toast. But at the end of the day its still a party of old people especially if its Isaac at 3 . Which makes it a party of the past - not of the future. Thats a bugger.

For once the old turks of Act should have looked past what must be their very short dicks and an onanistic view of life - and put some up the candidate food chain who are at least closer to forty than sixty. Sadly its not the case.

It should have been Cactus Kate Cathy Odgers at #3, and there were a few young ones who should have also been given the nod for a place within cooee of the top spot to indicate a willingness to rejeuvenate the ranks.

There are two young men in the middle order but they are both more of the academic ilk than get out and take a risk Alan Gibbs and Bob Jones types and too far down the ranks to have a snowball chance of getting an MP salary.

David Seymour, 28, who is number six on the list and standing in Auckland Central, has just returned from a role as a senior policy analyst at the Frontier Centre for Public Policy in Canada. He is an also an author and rugby coach. Mr Seymour stood for the ACT Party in the 2005 in the Mt Albert electorate.

Stephen Whittington, 25, who is number eight on the list, works in the tax law team of a corporate law firm. He is also a champion debater who has been named as one of the top ten speakers in Australasia and in 2009 was named as the 15th the best speaker in the world. Mr Whittington has worked as an adviser to Sir Roger Douglas in Parliament.

Cactus would have fired up the campaign like none of the others could. They needed her intellectual grasp of what ACT really stands for and the courage and conviction to articulate it so others could see the sense in some of their old party values.

Even though Isaac is much admired for preserving her good looks despite her advancing years - she is just as much an old boiler as Boscowen, Banks, and Doddery old Don.

Sadly they got rid of the only bugger who doesnt fire blanks - Rodney Hide and they must be rueing the day they made that decision.

We reckon ACT will be in the political wilderness post this election - consigned to jumping up and down and uttering outrageous statements in the hope that someone will give them a column inch or two in the local community paper.

And while we were in Auckland it is very evident that ACT is far from a sure thing in Epsom - which they must win to have a shit show of making the political grade.

ACT for relevance? No

ACT for the future - Not a bloody chance.

UPDATE : Whale is absolutely on the button when it comes the skullduggery behind the scenes in ACT.

ALL BUBBLES NO FIZZ

The courageous Whaleoil was challenged by Trevor Mallard to a cycle Race and the rest, as they say is history. Despite Whale training hard - Mallard won.

We said we would put the magnum of Bubbles we were originally given as the consolation prize in the veuve competition up for the winner - we thought that Whale would win - he didnt. Cactus was happy to put up $1000.

She will be feeling the loss much more keenly than us.

So today a perky little Lambcut delivered a very big bottle of Veuve clicquot to the Duck at Parliament.

It was delivered with a note -

"Congrats on your win - Savour the Veuve now. Doubt if you will be celebrating much come November "- From the team at Roarprawn.

POOPER BLOOPER

We needed a laugh today and we got it courtesy of the Waikato Times.

Seems a Chicken Farmer was a bit tardy when it came to disposing of a seriously large pile of chicken shit.

It was out out on the paddock to dry but the rain came and it washed into the nearby waterway.

The company is $42k poorer as result of the hefty fine.

So whats funny about that ?

The name of the stream is Tutaenui - the Big Shit.

Indeed.

Woo Woo , Riding The Crazy Train

"The insertion of fine, sterile, stainless steel needles into the body at carefully selected points which can be but is not limited to the following:

Relieves pain by treating stagnation of Qi and Blood in the affected areas and channels

Treats Qi block (shock)

Calms the Shen (mind-spirit)" - Accident Compensation Corporation

SNOW FUN LEAVING THIS

Home for the weekend - as you can see Floyd was very pleased to se us and we both enjoyed the view of our place while we were out for a stroll.

How Do I Root For The All Blacks ?

Sir Loin admires the "Rooting for the All Blacks" campaign started by Brunette and Cactus. Anything that satirizes pompous and out of touch corporate's while encouraging tupping is a worthy pursuit.

Sir Loin is not so taken with the Rugby World Cup itself. While the government ( the finger is not being pointed specifically at the National Goverment , the RWC 2011 pitch had the Labour Government prostrating themselves in front of the IRB like Queen Street beggars ) is spending like Shane Jones on a hotel porn channel :

"Acknowledging that the tournament comes with a price tag for local tax-payers, McCully is adamant that the event that will reap major benefits to the entire country. " - Official RWC 2011 Site

"In Auckland, the city where many of the most important games will take place, the costs to the local ratepayers alone has been estimated at $102 million. (The New Zealand Herald. 14 June 2011.)" - Wikipedia

they are making cuts to essential services :

"Hayley Whitaker, an executive member of teacher's union NZEI Te Riu Roa, says funding has been cut to more than 2000 services as part of government plans to cut costs by abandoning the target of having early childhood centres staffed fully by qualified teachers." - New Zealand Herald

Mc Cully adamantly claiming that the RWC 2011 will have benefits reeks of spin. Similar spin was used to justify the Americas Cup spending extravaganz. Has that improved the lot of anyone but politicians riding the wave of feel good to electoral success ?

What would really improve the long term success of this country is boring stuff like education ( pre-school, primary, secondar & tertiary) , infrastructure and research and development. Of course John Key will get far more publicity prior to the next election posing with adulterous, terrorist sponsoring , cheese eating, surrender monkey Nicolas Sarkozy than figuring out a way to fund decile 1 pre-schools and research by our world class scientists.

Sir Loin had no intention to going to any of the RWC games. Paying hundreds of dollars to queue up for games at Eden Park that Sir Loin will be paying for in rates and taxes for years to come, so IRB executives could jet around first class seemed a stiff punch on the brisket. However Sir Loin's calf arrived home with the news that its school had organised a group booking to a game at North Harbour.

Sir Loin is therefore asking: what is the proper etiquette to be observed when rooting for South Africa ?

ROOTING FOR THE ALL BLACKS

We thought that the Abstain for the All Back Campaign was actually designed to put a spark in the All Black Campaign in a perverse sort of a way. It was so naff that the public would design their own campaign - sort of an organic marketing approach.

In essence the abstain campaign would spawn a community supported risque version.

Well despite the demise of the Abstain campaign, we would like to launch the unofficial - Lets Root for the All Blacks.

Cactus and I will be the Patrons.. Anyone keen to ruck it up for the RWC2011? Pass the Balls anyone?

Herbal Tea

X-Women

Brunette wrote earlier this week that she is getting all hot and bothered in her Christchurch apartment. While Sir Loin is still unclear what norks are, Brunettes commitment is admired.

Society makes strong moral judgement about the overweight: they lack will power and indulge themselves by eating too much and not exercising enough. Thin people are stronger and superior to fat people. While being overweight can be unhealthy , this judgement is also a social construct. A person starving to death in Ethiopia would no doubt love to be overweight.

Recent research shows that being fat may stem less from an individuals love of rich food and more from their mothers love of pies.

"In the current study, the team measured the epigenetic state (the degree of chemical modification) of DNA in umbilical cord tissue from nearly three hundred children and showed that this strongly predicted the degree of obesity at six or nine years of age. What surprised the researchers was the size of the effect - children vary in how fat they are, but measurement of the epigenetic change at birth allowed the researchers to predict 25% of this variation. This association is much stronger than explanations of obesity based on heredity and lifestyle." - NZ Doctor

Colin Craig: Turning Housewives into Whores ?

The Conservative Party of New Zealand recently spammed letterboxes in (conservative) parts of Auckland with their tasty policy treats. One of these sweeties is a proposal to offer money to stay at home mums.

Don't we already pay mums to stay at home ? It's called the DPB. Yes but those are solo mums.

What about solo mums that work ? They get Working For Families tax credits.

What about mums who are in a relationship and work ? They get WFF'.

So we are left with stay at home mums whose partners work . Don't they get get WFF ?

Colin Craig and his group of solid family citizens want to give more taxpayers money to people who are already getting it. Love to see how they will pay for that boondoggle. Pop across to Facebook and tell him he is being a plonker( as several people already have). Fortunately the Conservative Party of New Zealand will get into parliament when Romania wins the Rugby World Cup.

BUGGER THE APPLES, WHAT ABOUT THE BOFFINS?

Australia has finally cleared New Zealand apples for export ending a 90 year trade battle. But, (and you heard it first here), sources have revealed to us that the Australian Government is considering excluding New Zealanders and other foreign boffins and bureaucrats from government job opportunities in Canberra.

Telecom Slips Off the Edge

"But a marketing person familiar with the campaign said Telecom's advertising agency, Saatchi & Saatchi, considered it "edgy" and expected it to be controversial.

He told the Herald: "I think this thing is a bloody embarrassment. The rest of the world will take the piss out of us. This will be much better sport than the rugby. It's inexplicable."" - NZ Herald

If you describe yourself as edgy then you are not. Charlie Sheen, Althea Flynt and Alasdair Thompson edgy , advertising grunt in Parnell not edgy. If Telecom really wanted to be edgy they would have gone on a drunken splurge through Auckland's adult entertainment venues, overdosed on heroin, ranted that women can't play World Cup Rugby because they would bleed all over the field and then burnt down Eden Park, now that would be edgy.

The Biggest Loser(s)

This chap in Seattle wonders why he has been single for 12 years. Even Jillian Michaels may be unable to relieve him of his fat head.

"I am a 35-year-old Seattle-dwelling male who has been horribly single for 13 years."

"Seattle has a disturbingly low number of Average Attractive women. The fallout from this, combined with Seattle culture, has been disastrous.

The typically small number of Very Attractive women is even lower in Seattle, and the number of Average Attractive women is so low that they got bumped up a notch on the Men They Can Chase After scale. This has seriously depleted the pool of single Average Attractive women, and this then pulls up the Not So Attractive women into the slots normally reserved for those who are Average Attractive.

The Average Attractive women now consider themselves Really Pretty, and because of the vacancy they left behind, the Not So Attractive women now consider themselves to be Average Attractive." - RainyBrain

Maybe there is a lesson in there for Phil Goff and Don Brash ?

CHRISTCHURCH SNOW

Tuesday, Monday, Sunday nights. On the corner of Montreal and Worcester St Christchurch. If it freezes 2night it could be hell out there.