RETURN ON INVESTMENT

Media Release.

Ministry of Social Well Fair

5 August 2010

GOVT EXPECTS RETURN ON INVESTMENT FOR ALL WELFARE PAYMENTS.

Today the Minister of Social WellFair, Pru Dent announced there would be new transparency measures applied to all Welfare payments.

This includes all benefits.

The Ministry has today introduced a new electronic system that will monitor what beneficiaries do with Taxpayers money.

" We have seen new rules on transparency of applied to both Ministers and the Chief Executives in the Public Service and some have been found wanting.

In light of the huge public outrage, the government has decided to apply the new rules of transparency to all those who are in receipt of taxpayers funding.

" What we want to measure is Return on Investment. ( ROI.)"

"This means we have applied an electronic tracing system on all beneficiaries to monitor how they are spent taxpayers money."

"This will be done by the insertion of a small chip in each beneficiary.

"After decades of Welfare spending we know exactly what a family, and individuals needs to spend their benefit money on to live.

"Any spending on tobacco, alcohol McDonalds, and KFC will be deducted from the following fortnights benefit," Ms Dent says.

"Any medical spending will see an increase in the following benefit cycle.

"Visits to educational and sporting activities will be deemed as a positive return on investment and credits will be applied to the following benefit cycle.

The chip will also detect any alcohol and drugs in the beneficiaries' system and payments will be automatically deducted from the following benefit pay cycle.

"The government is committed to getting a return for investment on its welfare spend.

"This new policy has the potential to make people think about the choices they have and the risks and rewards that go with those choices.

"We have decided that Ministers and Public Servants will also be subjected to the same stringent requirements.

"All dining out will require an explanation on what the return on the investment will be for the country.

"A thousand dollar dinner at Logan Brown with overseas heads of state that results in the foundation of a free trade agreement will be deemed to be a positive return on investment and will be acceptable, however lunching with ex mistresses and former Ministers is deemed not to be in the public interest and any such instances will require the funds to be repaid.

" What is good for the goose will be good for the gander." concluded the Minister.

ENDS