Wednesday, 22 October 2008

BLACK HUMOUR

The Credit Crunch: explained in a few quotes


A trader: 'This is worse than a divorce. I've lost half my net
worth and I still have a wife.'

President Bush said clients shouldn't be concerned by all these
bank closings. If the bank is closed, you just use the ATM, he said.

George Bush said that he is saddened to hear about the demise of
Lehman brothers His thoughts at this time go out to their mother as
losing one son is hard but losing two is a tragedy.

The problem with investment bank balance sheets is that on the
left side nothing is right and on the right side nothing is left.

There are 30 billion prime numbers below 700 billion. The rest
are all subprime.

How do you define optimism? A banker who irons 5 shirts on a
Sunday.

What do you call 12 investment bankers at the bottom of the
ocean? A good start.
Why are all MBAs going back to school? To ask for their money
back.

For Geography students: What's the capital of Iceland? Answer:
About Three Dollars Fifty Cents...

If you want to gamble, go to Las Vegas. If you want to trade in
derivatives, God bless you.

Whats the difference between a guy who just lost everything in
Vegas and an investment banker? A Tie

Whats the difference between a bond and a bond trader? A bond
matures.

Lehmann have changed their recommendation on Lehmann from hold
to sell.

Forty years ago I sold fifty shares of my company stock and had
enough money to purchase a brand-new 1967 Ford pickup. Last week, I
checked it out, and if I sold another fifty shares, Id have enough money
to buy a 1967 Ford pickup. So, the market has stabilized.

My broker suggested that I invest for my old
age. He was right. Within a week of investing, I was an old man.

2 comments:

Iceland Cries said...

Funny jokes :)

mawm said...

A bit tough on GW - to be fair to him he wanted to sort out the subprime problem but was stopped by the Dems.