Wednesday, 24 March 2010


The apparent troughing by some brown fellas in the name of Maori development has the whanui choking on their kumara.

Phil Kitchin from the Dominion Post
has been lifting the potae on the rather overblown ambition and under delivery of the Tekau Plus programme that is aimed at positioning ten Maori businesses to become ten big exporters in ten years. It was big and bodacious - a good vision - but not a bloody goal.
It was overseen by a Government department - never a good start for any business.

$2m of $3m has been spent and so far all that has happened is that there have been no positive outcomes and a handful of big brown swinging dicks have done very well thank you. They have the odd hui here and there, travelled quite a bit , talked shit and written even more shit.

At the centre of the story is a outfit called Fomana Capital It is now known round the traps as Faux Mana.... how funny is that!

We are delighted that there will be an inquiry.
However it would behove those who are conducting the inquiry to ensure that there is a ceiling on the fees of those who are investigating the scheme.

We continually see the same bumpf repeated over and over again by these sorts of organisations. Full of a strange language that real businessmen dont use - like this claptrap


The FOMANA Capital Accord is neither a legal commitment nor a prescriptive framework. It is equally about innovation, co-networking, market positioning for the future and working collaboratively.

The bond between FOMANA and reputable organisations is people. People that foster strategic relationships and that are aware of the big picture game-plan.


Foremost the policy is premised on a strategic relationship. This requires FOMANA Capital and the Accord parties to agree to building relationships based on understanding, accepting and acknowledging each others’ values, principles and strategic intent. The aim is to have congruence or alignment of values/principles and strategic intent.

The Accord relationship can be visualised similar to an iceberg. That is the base and foundations (Values, Principles & Strategic Intent) may not be seen or overtly known. However the base/foundations are what provide the strategic scale and bulk.


There are four levels associated with the policy of entering an Accord.

Level 1: Is the foundation, an alignment and/or agreement on the principles and values.

Level 2: Is the structural alignment, an agreement on the strategic intent and big picture.

Level 3: Is the form of an agreed business programme – goals, objectives to be worked towards, which illustrate a pattern, theme of results.

Level 4: Is the individual project or events, where the system of agreed programmes (patterns/themes), which is part of structural/strategic intent programme, which is based on the Accord foundations, principles and values.

We work and have worked with CE's from listed companies, exporters, consultants and entrepreneurs.

They dont talk like that - They say things like

  • We need to get shit done now
  • We cannot lose our competitive edge.
  • We need to be number one.
  • We need a game plan.
  • Whats on the agenda?
  • What do we need to fix?
  • Wheres the payback?
  • Whats the cost benefit?
  • Whats the NPV net present value ?
  • Fuck thats a bloody good opportunity.
  • We need to win.
  • We need to work on our relationships
  • The customer is king.
  • Hire that woman - shes got great tits
  • No risk - no reward.
  • We need to beat the bastards
  • We need to work out what the market wants
  • get them to sign on the dotted line
  • Dont blow the budget
  • We only hire the best because we want to be the best.
  • There has got to be something in it for our partners.
  • Wheres the profit?
  • Wheres lunch?


alex Masterley said...

You missed "where's the beer?" off the list.
and you are right no-one in the real world writes triope like that unless they are bullshitting government.

barry said...

I dont know why it happens but it seems many maori programmes are just handouts in disguise - or worse - theft.
Ive been following the 'stop maori smoking' hearing in parliament. Some $160 million have been spent on this - and absolutely nothing to show for it except lots of crying at the hearing about how its important to keep giving this money to a gang of what seem to be nothing but thieves.

And this morning we hear Sharples saying - in effect - that he doesnt believe in education. God - whats next.

MikeP said...

what a great list!
should be compulsory in Management Consulting 101.