Monday, 23 March 2009


this from Lambcut

As Lambcut has stated before, BB is a wannabe rustic. She is in fact an
urban numpty. Upon the succulent smell of ovine pudenda, Rams curl their lips in
lurid anticipation, awaiting the precise time of ovulation. In a commercial
situation, a single Ram may be responsible for serving (yes it is called a
service) between 100 and 200 ewes.

The ratio depends on a number of factors, not the least being the
parsimoniousness of the farmer who must spend quite a bit for a good ram.
Ovulation generally occurs in three cycles, which cease when the ewe is
successfully served. The second cycle is the most fruitful.

Vasectomised teaser rams are sometimes used during the first cycle to get
the ewe’s juices flowing and to increase conception rates by only introducing
entire Rams in the lucrative second cycle. But on any reckoning, a Ram may serve
up to 200 ewes, and may serve many of them more than once. He does all of this
in no more than a 6 week period. Do the math.

On that basis, you too would curl your eager lips while waiting for the
optimum moment. Let Lambcut assure you, there is no lack of enthusiasm in a Ram.
In preparation for tupping a farmer feeds his rams prodigiously, trims their
feet, and trims around their pizzles (rustic for penis).

This, inter alia, is to avoid pizzle rot (a cruel and stinking disease, the details of
which are better known only unto rustics). Depending on the wooliness of the
breed, the farmer may also eyewig the Ram (eyewigging is rustic for an eyebrow
trim). This is so they can properly sight the salubrious nether organ of their

Though the Rams are presented to their harem at the beginning of tupping in
optimum physical condition, they invariably return pale and emaciated. Some die. They will copulate even unto death.

1 comment:

mojo said...

Aha ... & there seems something entirely proper about all this.