Sunday, 22 March 2009


We have a burning question. When we were a little thing in overalls overseeing all the doings on our grandfathers farm we learnt a lot about sex. The years have dimmed the memories sadly, so we cant dredge our mind banks for the answer to this problem.

See, the thing is, because we are weekend worriers with a 10 acre block we don't want the hassle of owning stock so a lovely bloke up the road takes care of that by grazing his sheep here . Now presently we have a pick and mix flock on the place. Some white, some black, some black and white, some shedders, some woollies, a lot of girls and four big boys.

Now I remember helping my grandfather put a harness on the rams to know if they were tupping - which is shaggaroonied to all your city slickers.The harness was fitted with a coloured chalk under their belly. Each ram had a different colour. Some were very vigorous while others pondered the task. And after they did the deed a smudge was left on the smiley faced ewe. We would lean on the fence and watch with interest the derring do of the big Southdown rams on many an afternoon ranking them for their sexual prowess.

Our rams have no harnesses and we reckon they take the weekend off. Haven't seen a single rogering and there is is no all out war like I remember in the rams of old. Hell I saw one break its neck in a fight once.
No, these big boys slink around the paddock - do the sniffy bum thing then curl their lips in disgust ( what do they expect ??!!) and then wander off.

We wonder if the time isn't right, that these rams are unionised and are only on the job Monday to Friday or horror of horrors are past their prime.

Anyways I now keep a close watch on them just to see if I can catch them in the act but despite my ovine voyerism , I have yet to see a woolly dirty deed done .

Methinks we need to give Homepaddock a buzz and get her to impart some country wisdom. Or maybe Lambcut has the answer..


homepaddock said...

Maybe they are shy :)


Well BB isn't shy.
I am drawing some interesting conclusions based on Daniel Craig and randy rams.
Thank Christ John Key gets no mention or a scandal would be brewing :)

Anyway, pop over to Barnsley Bill and you will see we can be filthy too.

JC said...

A watched pot never boils.


Stuart L said...

Why ask HP,she on a Dairy Farm and even us City Slicker know all about A.I. Even if cow cockies were doing for yonks before it caught on with folks like us.

Don't ask Lambcut it may bring back repressed memories of an earlier life.

PaulL said...

Surely they don't have a go until the right time? That's what all the sniffing's about. No point wasting all that effort if it isn't going to take.

As opposed, of course, to other species where all that effort is what it is all about :-)

kehua said...

Never fear BB the Aries just like us no how , when and where to get the job done.Just wait until July?August and count the lambs. And hang onto the little buggers, at the moment 35 kg lambs are worth 90-100 bucks on the hoof. That will probably work out at $55 hind 1/4 roasts and $6 a chop next year.

LAMBCUT said...

As Lambcut has stated before, BB is a wannabe rustic. She is in fact an urban numpty. Upon the succulent smell of ovine pudenda, Rams curl their lips in lurid anticipation, awaiting the precise time of ovulation. In a commercial situation, a single Ram may be responsible for serving (yes it is called a service) between 100 and 200 ewes. The ratio depends on a number of factors, not the least being the parsimoniousness of the farmer who must spend quite a bit for a good ram. Ovulation generally occurs in three cycles, which cease when the ewe is successfully served. The second cycle is the most fruitful. Vasectomised teaser rams are sometimes used during the first cycle to get the ewe’s juices flowing and to increase conception rates by only introducing entire Rams in the lucrative second cycle. But on any reckoning, a Ram may serve up to 200 ewes, and may serve many of them more than once. He does all of this in no more than a 6 week period. Do the math. On that basis, you too would curl your eager lips but wait for the optimum moment.

Let Lambcut assure you, there is no lack of enthusiasm in a Ram. In preparation for tupping a farmer feeds his rams prodigiously, trims their feet, and trims around their pizzles (rustic for penis). This is to avoid pizzle rot (a cruel and stinking disease, the details of which are better known only unto rustics). Depending on the wooliness of the breed, the farmer may also eyewig the Ram (eyewigging is rustic for an eyebrow trim). This is so they can properly sight the salubrious nether organ of their target. Though the Rams are presented to their harem at the beginning of tupping in optimum physical condition, they invariably return pale and emaciated. Many die. The will copulate even unto death.