FAB AND FIFTY

We have set ourselves a bit of a challenge. We have publicly stated that we aim to lose 50 lbs before we are fifty on July 20 - 2010 . Tomorrow is the rest of our life - so to speak.
We have set up a separate blog called Fab and Fifty here - which will chronicle the journey.

So come along for the ride, we reckon it will be an interesting one!

NEW AUCKLAND FOOD BLOG

When we head to Auckland we try like hell to sample the cuisine at some place we haven't been to before. This includes takeaways etc.
So its great to see a new foodie blog written by Jessie Mulligan that takes considered look at Auckland food in all its glory.

Jessie , along with Jo Cotton, is a brekkie jock on More FM in Auckland. He and his girlfriend stayed with us briefly over Xmas.

Anyway he is a man of many parts who had travelled a bit as well. So we look forward to new posts on his blog.

Be rest assured this very talented cool dude knows his tucker.

While we were in Auckland last , we managed to get to the Oratia Market. It was in a great location and had lots of interesting stalls . We like the idea that there was a fantastic Antique place call Just Plane interesting there, as well as a superb selection of sit down eating cafes and stand up sample and sip stalls. We came home with some lovely honey from the EarthBound Honey company. We bought the bush honey and its delicately complex - we matched it with this - the OMG triple cream brie. It was very rich combination but it melted on your tongue..

So with the "50 before we are 50" challenge starting tomorrow - the triple cream bries drizzled with honey will be foody memories that we will return too often after a day of low fat, lilliputian portions.

BOILED DRY

This week has been fantastic, ACDC, catch ups with old mates and a fond farewell for the BOIL.

It gave us a chance to find what we think is a pretty good venue for parties, the Victoria Bowling club.

There were about 70 people, all manner of friends and family who turned up at the Bowling club to celebrate the birthday of the " Big Guy" aka the BOIL's very hunky hubby and their impending departure to a excellent job in Europe.
We have never been to the Bowling club before but what a superb venue, private , sheltered, relaxed and roomy.

We dined on steak sammies, sausages, salads and bread and drank jugs of good beer and the girls had a selection of nice wine. We were waiting for the arrival of David Farrar to see if he had anythingto say about this column from Fran O'Sullivan about the polling of National.

Farrar, aka Kiwiblog was a no show at the party. However we got a call from him this arvo, from the Victoria Bowling Club wondering where everyone was . He apparently had the wrong day in his diary. He will be expected to shout the BOIL before she goes for such organisational tardiness!

It really was one of the nicest parties we have been to for ages. And would recommend the venue to anyone looking for something a bit different.

BOIL OVER

We rocked on 2nite to ACDC. It was
pure
rock
and
roll



We were in a box which is a nice place to be when you are the same age as the band.

The energy of Angus Young was un- F***king Believable.
The stage was awesome and the special effects amazing.

It was cool that son and heir was at the same concert - it made us feel young.
It was even cooler that his mates who dossed down for the nite brought blue cod and paua.
There was a great crew in the Box to have fun with, media, political and energy industry types.

And tonight was the last night we will be guest of this particular corporate, as our mate the BOIL has got a very good job offshore and we have been recipients of her fab hospitality on many a memorable occasion.

We will miss her but the girls have vowed that we will have regular BOIL UP's to collect the gossip to dispatch to her across the sea.

But who was the crazy cow who did a titty flash???!!!

Her name and her shame will forever remain secret.

However, she bore a striking resemblance to this chick


So if you want a good night out - get along to the Saturday concert - even if you aint fans of the music, the spectacle and the atmosphere are worth indulging in.

TELECOM = FALSE PROMISES

We got a call last night from someone whom we think probably lives in Manila ,saying she was from Telecom and wanted to talk about a good deal on my Cellphone plan.

Anyway after a quick scan of my account she declared she could replace my current plan with its monthly usage which sets us back about $200 a month for another plan that would cost $90 a month on the new XT network and i would get a new free phone.

Cool , I said a free phone! I had been thinking about upgrading my blackberry. Oh dear she said sorry I could have any other phone but a blackberry...

I told her she had just lied to me as she had said i could have a free phone..

After a while I got sick of the too-ing and fro-ing that was going nowhere and said that I wanted her to email me with the details and the offer she had given me over the phone.

I have yet to see a thing but then again Telecom was probably a bit busy today..

And the reason we have to stick with Telecom is simply because of coverage.

Otherwise we would have ditched them years ago.

Bastards they are - bastards.

COUNTDOWN

weird facts about ACDC

Early AC/DC publicity info claimed Angus Young was born in 1959 - to help his 'schoolboy' image. He was actually born in 1955 – otherwise he would have been gigging with AC/DC aged 14. Angus Young was 18 when AC/DC released debut album High Voltage.

Brian Johnson was in UK band Geordie, we know, but after they split – and before he got the gig with AC/DC - Johnson ran a vinyl car-roofing business in the north east of England.

Malcolm Young's first job after leaving school was as a machine maintenance engineer for a bra company. Rock music saved him from a life of smutty jokes, obviously.

Australia issued a 'Rock'n'Roll' stamp set in 1998. The AC/DC stamp is a picture of Angus Young, with "It's a long way to the top" written across his school bag. AC/DC even have a whole set of themed stamps issued by the Republic of Benin, West Africa (below).


More weird ACDC shit here

SONG FOR THE WET DUCK

Well forsooth! Ace lefty blogger Trevor Mallard shows once more his soft yearning for Cactus Kate - or pray tell is it a spot of granite desire?

We saw the petals of virtual love open here when he breathlessly shouted out the thorny ones name in parliament.

Our prickly pikelet princess then returned his favour, laying gifts of adoration at his feet

So yet again he sings her praises.. Is she the political siren on whose rock he will wreck?

Call him home Cactus - Call him home.....

HOT AIR NEW ZEALAND?

We are not too sure about the new improvements for Air New Zealand. We have travelled all three classes long haul. Biz class lie down was good. We shared the back row premium economy against a bulk head and quite frankly wondered what the difference was from economy as the seat did not fold back much. And as for economy - well we aint twiggy. So it was a drag.

So we like the couch idea - its bloody smart and if you end up in a half full plane - there is a fair chance you could end up with the row all to yourself. What we cant understand is it looks now like you get a better deal in the economy couch aisles than in Premium economy.

So it will be interesting how they ration the economy couches.

However its good to see they are thinking laterally. And all this from a man who sells his used undies for charity.

EXPENSIVE ROUTE

We have it on good authority that a young political advisor has dished out a bit in expensive nose bags for - lets call her - media chick A, whom he wants to shag. Seems he told media chick B that he reckoned a decent nose bag would get media chick A between the sheets. However media chick B told media chick A of the Lothario's plan. Media chick A maybe getting fatter but young politico has yet to get his day in the hay.

Boy is learning an expensive lesson in sexual politics.

DUCT TAPE - BEATING THE BRUIN

This is an amazing story - during a fly in fishing excursion in the Alaskan wilderness some fishermen left a chilly bin containing bait in the locked plane. The bear ripped it apart. The pilot used his radio and had another pilot bring him 2 new tyres, 3 boxes of duct tape, and a roll of sheet plastic. He patched the plane together, and flew it home!

NGAI TAHU NEWS - GOSS FROM THE TABLE

We have reported on the website Ngai Tahu established by Te Runanga O Ngai Tahu newbie Tahu Potiki.

His website indicates a welcome and new level of hitherto unseen transparency by runanga representatives.

We have also been given a bit of good oil on the latest meeting of the "Table" as the meetings are known as.

Firstly new member Quentin Hix is a well known figure in South Canterbury, a barrister and solicitor. Its great to see someone with a legal background join our tribal leaders but by all accounts , Mr Hix could do with a smidgen more humility.. And he can probably be forgiven for talking lots - he is used to holding the floor in court.

However BustedBlondes first rule for newbies on any organisation - the ratio of listening to talking should be about 95/20.

That being said the general consensus is that Hix is a good appointment and he has the added bonus of looking good too.

There are still a few elections to be held, the most important being Kaikoura, the last bastion of current Ngai Tahu chair Mark Solomon. We note that while all other runanga have at least begun the election process that Kaikoura are still trying to work out what process they will follow.

We have heard that there is a new air of co-operation at The Table and maybe that relates to the tenuous hold some representatives have on their positions.
However, we are mightily pleased with this new cohesion at the Table as it all bodes well for a good year for Ngai Tahu Whanui.

BIG TICKS FOR GROSER AND JOYCE

Tim Groser and Steven Joyce have been star performers for the government and both have been given the recognition they deserve by the Prime Minister. We are pleased that Tim has been given the chance to lead the weighty and complex job of International Climate Change. His wisdom and pragmatism will give New Zealand the chance to optimise any trade gains that can be made from world wide rush to Emissions Trading. We need to ensure that international policy does not impact negatively on the backbone of our economy - dairying.

As for Joyce - it's well known that he has the capacity for a heavy workload and a head for long term strategy - his sector relations are also superb. The education portfolio will benefit from his helicopter roll.

The lack of large changes to Cabinet will dismay Labour who will have been looking for blood. While they will be able to make some mileage out of Anne Tolleys demotion, there is little else wher Labour can gain any traction.

Key has put his two "fix it" men in charge of the areas that are the two biggest risks - that type of decision making just underscores the PM's growing reputation for pragmatism.

FILL YA CUPS

Hell, just when we decide to downsize - along comes an offer that we would find hard to refuse. A bar in Singapore allocates drinks to women according to cup size. We would get seriously sloshed in short order.

The free drink nights have strict rules: There are two judges, one of each gender, who visually determine each woman's cup size. A women with an A cup receives one free drink, a B cup gets two, a C cup slurps down three, those lucky enough to have a D cup walk away with a free bottle of vodka.

So by our reckoning , based on our bountiful bosum , we would get a couple of bottles of free vodka while poor old - currant buns Cactus would only get a small free drink.

We think its a great gimmick.

Singapore anyone?

NGAI TAHU NEWS - TAHU POTIKI ON LINE

Tahu Potiki, the new appointed representative for Otakou at Te Runanga O Ngai Tahu, has joined the online community. He has set up a very well designed and easy to navigate website with a blog.

2010, we believe, will be a watershed year for Ngai Tahu. Tahu talks about the collective responsiblity of leadership as well as his thoughts on a range of issues. They bear the hall marks of of a thinker and someone who understands the needs and aspirations of his people.

We believe that Tahu, this time round as a politician sitting at the table rather than as a bureaucrat running the organisation, is where he will find his true calling.
We are delighted that he has done a quick synopsis blog of the latest Te runanga O Ngai Tahu meeting -
It will be welcomed by the many Nga Tahu who are scattered to the four winds.

Tahu is a big man with a big personality and some would content a big ego. Thats not a bad thing as long as one delivers on their self belief.

So we wish Tahu well this year. His mission is an important one and he has our full support.

JAM CAVIAR

We spent a "news free" day, doing a spot of gardening, and pickle and jam making.

We made corn relish, Strawberry jam and mixed fruit jam.

The Mixed fruit jam is very cool. It has plum, red ones and green gage, rhubarb, and elderberries. Apart from the red plums the rest of the stuff came from the garden or the hedgerows.

And not to put too fine a point on it - its bloody delicious - tart fruity and complex- and it looks very cool as well as the black elderberries have stayed whole and they explode in your mouth. Jam caviar.

Recipe is very simple. cut up and weigh fruit. Use the same weight in sugar. Use some pectin jam set as on the packet, or buy some of the new whizzy jam sugar with pectin in it .
Bottle - eat and repeat..

BUSTLESS BLONDE

We are tearing towards one of lifes great milestones - our fiftieth birthday. It hasn't crept up on us, rather its raced up to us and is now jumping up and down like some demented fox terrier demanding attention.

Now we don't really feel even close to 50. More like 42. Not sure why we think 42 - maybe it was the year we grew up a bit and we have plateaued there abouts ever since.

Now with age comes girth. Well for most of us.Charlotte Dawson is very thin. but she has had a bit of work. We are au naturelle. Wrinkles, dimples, bumps, bulges, sags and bags.

Now Cactus has suggested that this country has a problem with obesity - and it has. We fit into that camp. Funny really when we have problems fitting anywhere else. We have about 4 inches to go on our Air New Zealand lap belt before we have to get the fat bastards extension - so its time for some action.

Being big aint easy. We haven't bought a pair of jeans that dont come embedded with lycra or spandex or fitted with elastic waists since we were - 42. They are sort of fat old tarts pull ups. Its a bit like the advert below for the kids cross over nappies. They are pull ups - they are nearly undies but not quite. Well we wear pull ups pants too. Nearly jeans but not quite.

So this is our year of getting rid of a few pounds. We want to lose 50 pounds before our birthday in July .

We are going to use the blog to keep up us honest. There will be a section on the right hand sidebar that will count down to losing 50 pounds.


We will be too embarrassed not to reach our target.. and we are sure that fat hater Cactus will keep us motivated.

So hopefully the bustedblonde will be the bustless blonde.....

Any assistance, advice, ideas, motivation will be well received.

The countdown will start on February 1.

Huggies Pull-ups advert
Uploaded by hamster1992. - Check out other Film & TV videos.

RUTH PRETTY WE HATE YOU

Damn.

Last year we baked our very amazing Grand Marnier Australian Women's Weekly Xmas Cake . It was eaten to resounding applause of our mates and family. A cobber also baked a whisky Xmas cake - again it was eaten with gusto and received very high praise - well done Blondini. And some other mates bought with them a perfectly formed Ruth Pretty cake - it was left till last as it was sealed in cellophane and came in a very swanky box.

In the last two weeks the Aussie Rock has polished off about 2 kgs of Christmas cake - half the Grand Marnier Cake, the remaining Whisky Cake and the Ruth Pretty cake. Aussies are fine purveyors of Xmas cake. Yip - you guessed it, Ruth Pretty's cake - pictured left, prissy, perfectly round, perfectly formed and perfectly delicious, apparently was declared by the Rock to the best by a country mile. And in Aussie that's a bloody long way.

Thing is - the Rock ate the whole damn thing - every last crumb - all by his gutsy self. So no one else can do the comparisons. All we know is that our guests over Xmas loved ours and Blondinis cakes and declared them very fine examples of spectacularly good cakes.

Now considering that he knew there would be a huge risk in never having Busted Blonde bake him another Xmas cake, the Rock was very very brave and we know that he is honest to a fault. So Ruth Pretty's perfectly formed cake must be something spectacular.

And here's the kicker - the bloody cow has a secret recipe for it. She is onto a winner and she knows it. We hate that.

And will we bake our famous and much loved Gran Marnier Cake next year? Nah the Rock can buy his bloody own from Ruth. Sometimes honesty doesn't pay....

WASTE OF GOOD MONEY

Well we dont get this its some feel good site called rattleyadags.

- it features a heap of kiwis who are apparently inspiring ..

But they dont inspire us.


So we want to know what sort of dosh was spent on building it.. And as for the choice of inspirational people - we find some of them very odd role models indeed.

A CRAP DECISION

Nothing more be said really.

WHALE NEEDS TO LEARN TE REO

We thought this was a lovely story this morning , the language that was used in the blockbuster movie Avatar was in fact partially based on Maori.
We think that's very very cool. It will help promote the language - which tourists who come here love to try out.
So we reckon that Whale has been playing with his dork - and unlike most of his yarns he got a serious fact wrong. Hana O'Regan is a woman and as a dusky mate of our said - a bloody stroppy one at that. She is a staunch advocate of Te Reo - a keeper of the linguistic fires of our people and we have enormous respect for her in that regard.

So she will not be a lone voice - in fact she echos the growing chorus of young Maori who look for new and innovative ways to preserve the Maori language which can now be translated by Google.

That James Cameron chose Maori as the basis for the Avatar language is something all New Zealanders should be proud of.

The tourist spin off for Aotearoa from this movie have yet to be exploited but any exposure will increase opportunities.

So Whale -tēnā rūkahu tēnā, you are wrong - there is no shame in the world doing a little korero Maori.

We will all be a little whakapai for it.

MOULDY OLD DOE

Big News! Which Labour big wig found himself with some mouldy old doe after the pre Xmas Press Gallery party ? What will this mean for broadcast bias?

LISA LEWIS CAUSES GROWN MEN TO WEEP

for some reason sexomatic Lisa Lewis is defriending everyone on her facebook. No-one seems to know why....

David Cohen I don't know quite how to say this, so I'll just come right to the point: Lisa Lewis has defriended me.

8 hours ago · Comment ·

2 people like this.

Rob Hosking

that's gotta hurt.

8 hours ago

David Cohen

Dude. If you only knew.

8 hours ago

Bill Ralston

I'd be more worried if she somehow befriended you!

8 hours ago

Esther Harward

What did you say

6 hours ago

David Cohen

Bill, Esther, Rob:

Thanks for the support. It means a lot. I guess this all goes to show how people can be in your life one day and then, suddenly, they're gone.

While it's true Lisa and I never actually communicated as such during the weeks we were Facebook friends, I know she would have been there for me if, say, I'd commented on her status update or wanted to share a new FB application. ... See More

We will not see her like again.

6 hours ago

Juliette Kelsey Chagnon

Oh GOD, David. I don't know what to say.,.....you're in my thoughts and prayers.

6 hours ago

Rob Hosking

A loss like this diminishes us all.

We are all guilty.

6 hours ago

Martin Hirst

Wow, a serious game zen moment. Master, how did you do it?

6 hours ago

Bill Ralston

OMG! She's dumped me too! The cow! Perhaps we now have to pay?

5 hours ago

Martin Hirst

Can't believe you media tarts would crave Ms Lewis' attention despite her alleged charms.
PS Bill, I'm willing to fill that gap on your honour role, at least Fb wise

5 hours ago

Noelle McCarthy

It's because you don't text.

5 hours ago

Cathy Odgers

You are not special Cohen. I think she defriended everyone.

4 hours ago

Mary McCallum

The verb, I believe, is 'unfriend' - it's the Oxford Dictionary [?] word of 2009. Does that help at all, David?

3 hours ago

David Cohen

Defriend, unfriend ... she's gone, dammit, that's all that matters.

2 hours ago

Pippa Stevenson

I think it makes you an official Lewiser.

2 hours ago

Sandi Riches

Is she taller than you?

about an hour ago

David Cohen

Sandi, Hard to tell. Most photographs of Lisa tend not to show her standing upright.

56 minutes ago

USED UNDIES FLY HIGH FOR CHICKS WITH MANKY TITS

This is one of the most inspired ways to raise funds we have ever seen. The used pink undies of the chief corporate pilot for Air NZ are up for grabs on Trade me

Apparently they will be drycleaned although we think they would fetch more if they were they were au naturalle. Sort of an interesting twist on the Tom Jones Phenomenon of tired old tarts chucking their undies at the aging crooner.

So we wonder does this mean Rob Fyfe is a committed tit man?


We know the marketing manager of the BCF pretty well but we reckon this is one of her better efforts yet. She will be forever known as the women who managed to get Fyfe to drop his daks. We bow at your feet oh Mistress of Magnificent Marketing.

NBR UPDATE

One of our mates at NBR has updated us on the staffing issues. Apparently the next edition will see some interesitng new faces and some old ones disappear.

Two print columnists and two occasional columnists have gone.

We look foreward to see who are new this Friday.

NBR - FURTHER SHIFT TO ONLINE?

Well, after a lovely weekend in the sunny city of sails catching up on some mates and the associated gossip, we understand that about 7 of the columnists and other contributors for the NBR print edition were given their marching orders post Xmas.

Now apart from occasionally getting the print version to read Matthew Hootons fine columns, we are happy to pay for the racier and pithier online version.


We also think it must be very easy to monitor the popularity of the online NBR journalists and contributors.

There really is no need for lengthy performance contracts and KPI's these days. Simply track the clicks to a journalist's stories and the amount of comment it provokes and you have a clear idea who the public wants to read.

So does this mean that Mr Colman sees the end of the line for the print versions of one of the most iconic business press brands and the dawn of the new age for the new media?

We think so... And we will happily pay for the online subscription as it keeps getting better and better.

Note - We have no financial connection to the NBR other than as a subscriber.

DPF FEARS NO COMPETITION

Now david p farrar aka Kiwiblog seems to be a happy soul and at his age being a happy soul means you are well feed, well watered and well laid.

So it was with great interest we read this story about a girl drought on Great Barrier Island, one of Mr Farrars hidey out places.

So we can come to one of two conclusions..

• David has secured a permanent bit of island crumpet which must piss off some of the crusty old dispairing dogs who call the place home.

• Or David the uber politico geek is the girl magnet we suspected some time ago and he is finding easy pickins on the hippy hidey away..

So Whaleoil can play with his dork as his on site popularity grows but he is beached in the sexy stakes- its DPF who leads that race.

ACT OF TERRORISM

This is simply a criminal act. The Eco terrorists from Sea Shepherd are deliberately trying to disable one of the Japanese Whalers by trying to foul the props with rope.


This is nothing less than piracy.

VIDEO

We never tire of the amazing videos Whale gets his hands on.

NBR GETS IT WRONG - SCAMPI

Really wrong in this case... Our contacts inside TVNZ say that the TVNZ/NZ Herald settlement is about a tenth of the $15 mill being bandied about today. Seems that someone put a decimal point in the wrong place. So if our sources are right, does this mean that Simunovich didn't even get their legal costs, estimated to be close to $3 mill - covered?

TOP PR GURU

This is very amusing. Our good mate has been named as the top PR guru by a leading British publication for looking after the Japanese Whaling interests..

One of the biggest players on the other side — apart from the Japanese government — is New Zealand’s top PR guru, Glenn Inwood, head of Omeka Public Relations, the mouthpiece of the whaling industry, who says: “Japan has been whaling for many, many generations and will continue to do so.”

Well done him we say. Perhaps Fonterra could consider him next time they get in the crap.. It has to be said that he has probably been responsible for a softening of opinion towards Japanese Whalers.

CINNAMON SQUARE

We think this is the most interesting story of the day. We call it scrubbing - there is probably a geek name for it
( and we would like to know what it is ) but its when info on a particular issue " disappears" on the net.

We witnessed it first with the Chinese reaction to the Melamine scandal and along with a couple of other bloggers we wrote about it at the time.

However we dont think that The Chinese are the only ones who purge the net of info they dont want in the public arena. We came across what we think is another example the other day and we will give you an update when we get concrete proof.

Anyway - we will track this story. Its the beginning of the dark arts of PR being played out in the big cloud and it has huge implications for the integrity of information on the net.

HONE HAS GOT IT WRONG - AGAIN

We wish that Hone would stick to saving Maori from the ills of Tobacco. His statement about pakeha being responsible for raping the land is racist at worst and disingenuous at best. And we agree with the Prime Minister - Hone is not doing this country any good with his inflammatory statements like this .

Last year I made the statement that white so-and-sos have been raping our lands and ripping us off and everyone hated me. All I was doing was holding up a mirror to New Zealand," Mr Harawira said.

You see we have witnessed many examples where Maori haven't got a hell of a good track record either. The decline of wood pigeons and korure in the south are a very good example. They tasted good - we gorged on them and as a result they are a bit thin on the ground these days.

And there plenty of examples where Maori through ignorance and greed have wiped species out and when it comes to black market trade in seafood - I bet a damn fine bottle of wine there is a Maori involved somewhere in the crime chain in almost all fisheries cases.

So we are really over Hone and his holier than thou attitude. Maori and Pakeha alike can share in the blame for the rape and pillage of our flora and fauna.

So its time to for him to get off his bloody high horse. He needs to make up his mind if he is going to be an activist who lives to rake over the embers of our imperfect history to fuel the fires of discontent or a role model for better lifestyles and behaviours of his people. At the moment he is simply a bloody disgrace. Still all Tama No Toa.

SEA SHEPHERD MORE DESPERATE THAN A 50 YEAR OLD VIRGIN

The media has been hoodwinked again. the Sea Shepherd puts out a press release and suddenly the papers honk out the headlines - Protesters file attempted murder complaint

How silly. We think that the charge of reckless endangerment should be considered against the skipper of the Ady Gil.

He had his eye off the ball as he and his crew gloated about their mosquito like irritant actions against the Whalers. It was up to him to get out of the way. So negligence is something that the authorities must be considering.

And we found this in our comments from Shark diver.- its a complete piss take .......

We would like to congratulate Sea Shepherd and Animal Planet on a fantastic staged event for television - perhaps one of the best staged disaster moments of 2010.

As production people ourselves we know the hazards and very real dangers of staging live disasters for television. It's a highly technical world only professionals can effectively operate in.

Multi-million dollar staged disasters are often canceled at the last minute due to OSHA compliance or studio fears of death and dismemberment. Sea Shepherd on the other hand have found a way to circumvent all of the requirements for staged disaster television by only allowing all volunteer crews and staging the event against non paid, non union, Japanese whalers.

By-passing all clean environmental requirements for television productions by producing this man made disaster in the Antarctic ocean was another master stroke. The clean up of several thousand gallons of bio diesel spilled by the Ady Gil and retrieval of the vessel from the sea floor would have cost Sea Shepherd and Whale Wars production millions if this disaster had been filmed in the USA.

Brilliant!

Managing to move Sea Shepherds $2 million dollar vessel Ady Gil into the path of Japanese whalers was a stroke of nautical timing by a seasoned captain who knew his vessel, and the direction wind, waves, and engines were carrying it. Catching the whole thing on video from the Bob Barker at just the right angle was pure reality television.

We were doubly impressed with the witty and show branding quote from SSCS Paul Watson immediately after the stunt "Now we're in a Real Whale War!" reminding the global audience that this is, after all, Must See TV!

Sea Shepherd Conservation Society have proven to be much evolved from the earlier staged days of Paul Watson being shot by Japanese whalers. In terms of production quality and emotional leverage that staged event was not one of the top three of the 2007 reality television season.

Kudos again to Sea Shepherd Conservation Society and Animal Planet for once again leading the way to a new decade of reality television. The disaster staging keeps getting better and better, and your circumvention of all production norms and safety regulations allows your organization to literally shoot for the moon.

We also noted this on the Sharkdivers blog.. Now normally we don't like Greenpeace but this is a very good advert.....

ONLY ONE PLACE FOR JOHN MINTOS MEGAPHONE

Buried between his butt cheeks. The sound of his flatulence would be infinitely more bearable than the sound of his whiny voice.

We applaud the police for wanting to take Mintos toy away for what must be one of the most disgraceful and widely condemned protests, against innocent Israeli sportswoman Shahar Peer, in our memory.

AUSSIE WISDOM

An old mate of ours in Brisbane reckons the tiding is going out for Sea Shepherd. We agree.

Heres a link to a superb article in the Brisbane Courier Mail

He has some gems worth noting

Sea Shepherd captain Paul Watson once again blowing off great clouds of sanctimonious steam as only true zealots of any persuasion can do.

Poetry that is - poetry

Paint me cynical, but I'd reckon Captain Paul has managed to milk far more than $2 million in publicity out of the stunt in the past few days. In that respect the whales are just as much cows of the ocean ripe for exploitation for Sea Shepherd as they are to the Japanese.

Nor do the eco-pirates have any right to claim the high moral ground in terms of maritime law here.

This mob make a living out of harassing and interfering with such operations: cutting across the bows of whaling ships to mess up a harpoon shot, throwing missiles of rancid butter and stink bombs at the vessels and allegedly trying to foul their propulsion gear.

Yip we agree - the ecoterrorists have no claim on the moral high ground

The Sea Shepherd approach is the same sort of fundamentalist extremism that makes anti-abortion activists in the US think it's justifiable to firebomb fertility clinics, or that prompts those ratbags from PETA to embark on similarly destructive campaigns of intimidation.

Yip eco terrorists to a man and woman.

AND THE AWARD FOR THE PUBLIC SERVANT WHO GETS THIS GOVERMENT - GOES TO

Al Morrison - for showing that there is life after being a lefty. His column in the Herald today, defending the Departments decision to allow a business selling refreshments near one of the country's most popular attractions clearly shows that Morrison both wants and should have a good future with the National government.

However we reckon he should allow the sale of ice creams as they are soooo quintessentially kiwi..

It would only be another baby blue step to the right Al - take it... go on .... and remember the scenery is much better on the right.....

WHALE HAS CRASHED

Just to update everyone - Whale Oils site has crashed - it has NOT been taken down. Cameron says it crashed as soon as Stuff referred to the story on their front page.

WHALE HAS A BIG SWINGING DORK

Geez - we waited today with baited breath for the post we knew would come from Whale Oil. Sadly we know the MP who is rumoured to be at the centre of the latest sex allegations as reported here at the Herald.

We find this one very sad ( if its true) because we have had a bit to do with him over the years and thought he was one of the good guys.

We think that Whale is bloody brave, but in this incident the victim could be a family member and if that is the case we can see some justification for suppression.

However, we have also read the post of Lisa Lewis today, who writes about being abused at a young age and wished that at the time the name of the perpetrator was made public.

Its clear to see that this debate will continue for some time and its a hot issue - Gotcha - Whales website has crashed and our site is getting many hits searching for anything we have published on the MP who is alleged to have been charged with sex offences.

SEX BOT SEX BOT

We think this is the silliest advancement in sex technology. A life size, fully operational sex bot that talks. Now we understand why there is a really big market for life size sex ken and barbie dolls in this increasingly virtual world of ours - but why would anyone want one to talk?

She's a companion. She has a personality. She hears you. She listens to you. She speaks. She feels your touch. She goes to sleep. We are trying to replicate a personality of a person."

Roxxxy stands 170cm (five feet, seven inches) tall, weighs 54.43kg (120lbs), "has a full C cup and is ready for action," according to Mr Hines, who was an artificial intelligence engineer at Bell Labs before starting TrueCompanion.

The anatomically-correct robot has an articulated skeleton that can move like a person but can't walk or independently move its limbs.

We especially like the fact the inventor made her able to snore- the bastard has a hell of a sense of humour....

Is this a male thing? Do males really want sex dolls that talk? Maybe they do but we are pretty sure that if any of our female friends needed ( or wanted ) a sex doll, then they wouldn't want it to utter a single word... We might want pecs that jiggle a bit and very sensitive fingers -the ability to give you feet a rub would be good and the ability to get out of bed first thing in the morning and make a cuppa and a slice of toast would be mandatory- but a voice? Nah!

So just to prove our theory and in the interests of increasing knowledge on this very important social phenomenon - we are running a survey on the right of the blog.

Q - If you had a sex bot would you want it to talk?

KAPAI KAI FIT FOR A KING

It seems the mother country is all a lather over poor wee pwince william having to endure a traditional Maori feast on his visit to NZ.

The 27-year-old will dine at a traditional Maori barbie or "hangi", where the food is cooked in a hole in the ground, and is expected to swallow every single mouthful or else risk offending his hosts, reports the Daily Star.

William is expected to be nibble on the Titi bird, the fatty chicks of the storm-petrel, raw seaweed, kina sea eggs and fiery pepper leaves.

He could also be asked to try chopped eels and the giant-sized hu-hu grub, served lightly grilled and said to taste of strong, chewy chicken.

A source close to the prince said: "During his military training, William had to try all sorts of food during his survival tests, so not much fazes him.

Well the Titi is not a storm petrel - its a shearwater and if the prince eats sushi he will know all about raw seaweed and horopito is now recognised as a pretty impressive condiment.

As for the huhu grubs, well they aren't bad either.

Over the years we have had many many british born lovers of muttonbirds as regular customers. They buy the birds because they remind them of kippers.

So we reckon that William will be just fine. However we expect the Hangi is more likely to include some fish - maybe eels, pork and chicken and some stuffing and there will be a bloody big steam pud as well!

A RECIPE FOR DOC

We thought we would share another popular recipe for smoked eel pate.

First catch and smoke your eel. If you can't - buy one but it is waaaay cheaper to catch your own and its much more fun.

So you need the smoked flesh of two smallish eels, our family likes them about 2 foot long. Any bigger and they can be a bit rich. Smaller is sweeter.

Now you have to get the meat off the bones. I doe this with my fingers -its easy and i like getting down and messy with my tucker.

smunch it all up.

then add some sour cream.then fold in a couple of tablespoons of whipped cream.
Then chop up some parsley and some chives. And add a splash of lemoncello liqueur and a bit of tarragon. then a dash of cayenne pepper. and salt to taste.. but be careful with the salt.

Then use a fork and mush it all together and put it in the fridge for at least 4 hours to let the flavours get to know one another.

And it goes well with a crisp Monteiths Pilsener.

We are currently growing some horseradish as it goes very well with smoked eel.

ENDANGERED????!!???

Well this comes as a bit of a surprise , apparently long finned eels are endangered and someone is all frothy because you can buy them in down town Auckland. Well if DOC wants to take a look at a healthy and thriving population then they should have a look see in our backyard.

(Good looking eel huh ... shame about the chick!)

The river is swarming with them We speared one and caught approx 15 more in the fyke net on New Years eve. . We kept four in total.

Now this might sound a lot but its not. We get a feed of eels about three times a year. And thats the way its going to stay. While we think the river is pretty healthy - we reckon its too small to sustain a commercial harvest. however we would be interested to find out if indeed it is fished commercially.

Some were large as witnessed by this picture but there are also many many small ones.

We just want to know how DOC has come to the conclusion that they are endangered?

SOUTH PARK DOES WHALES

Thanks to Motella for alerting us to this wee gem..

Its a piss take of the whaling issue. It really gets funny at about 7 mins.

HERALD'S BLOGGER OF WEEK

Apparently we are the Herald on Sundays Blogger of the Week with our stuff on the Whaling issue. Thanks for that. However if one more person rings or txts or emails that our spelling is crap we shall be very annoyed. We know we cant spell. The late Garry Ward's wife Mary Mountier even gave me a book to improve the level of grammar on the blog.

Interestingly, in our past, we have won prizes for our spelling excellence. As we got older it just got worser.

Anyway thanks for the congrats and all that...

THE BEST CRAYFISH RECIPE EVER

We often get asked what is the best recipe for Crayfish. Cactus has a new kitchen to play in and she has bought herself a crayfish.

Well we served up boiled Crayfish on xmas eve with fresh bread and butter - didn't talk much as we were too busy getting up close and personal with the cray tails.

However there is one way to serve it , which we did at a birthday party a few years back which is now the stuff of legend.

It was just boiled slightly salted crayfish and meltedbutter - not fancy nancy herby butter - just melted butter oozing all over the warm crayfish. Buckets of butter.

And cracked pepper for the ponces.

We suggest Cactus does the same and spreads out paper on the floor of her kitchen, puts the buttery crayfish on a plate and sits on the floor cross legged and eats it like it is the first meal she has had in a week. Slurping and tearing at it revelling in the sensual pleasure of the grease and ozanic scent of the lobster.

Oh and this is all best done naked and with someone else. .. True..

IMPOSSIBLE PIE = POSSIBLE

Here's an old fashioned recipe for a pie you can make even if you don't have pastry.

Note - Sorry the pics not ours but it looks a lot like ours...

3 cups of milk
2/3 cup of flour
five eggs
cup and a half of tasty cheese
some finely chopped bacon or ham.
any assortment of veges you have in your garden
including a oniony thing such as spring, red, chives, garlic chives,white or Egyptian and some parsley - we used also broccolini and grated zucchini

So you mix the flour and milk up with a whisk then whisk in the eggs, then the veges and bit of pepper or salt and then put in a greased dish, ( we used the bottom of a black roaster. )

Its a good one for the bach.

It makes its own crust and is a hybrid of an omlette, frittata, and quiche.


Use a moderate oven and cook till springy.. YUMBO!

so simple even Cactus could cook it - if she ever learnt how to cook.